14mo sleep...

[readyforapummelling]

My 14mo DD is in such a shite sleep routine and I need help breaking her out of it.

So for context, she sleeps in her cot-bed in our bedroom.

I put her to bed around 7:30pm, usually has a bottle, we brush her teeth then I settle her in bed. It takes her a while to fall asleep and I stay with her whilst she nods off. Most nights I will put my hand on her back as she likes to know I'm there (if she thinks I have buggered off, all hell breaks loose and I'm back to square one).

Once she is asleep, she stays asleep until 1:30am (ish) when she wakes up and SCREAMS to come in my bed. I've tried feeding her but she doesn't want it. As soon the little deviants head touches my pillow she instantly shuts her eyes and sleeps.

I can't keep doing this every night, I'm too tired in the morning from little elbows and being head butted.

I know I have made a rod for my own back and I shouldn't have let the bed sharing start in the first place, it was when I returned to work after maternity leave that I did it for a bit of sleep.

How can I get her to self settle? (She uses a Muslin cloth as a comfort blanket and has done since 3 months old).

How can I get her to stay asleep? In her own bed?

What can I do? I will do anything!!! Except CC and CIO.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

I've no advice I'm afraid OP, but, my 17 month old DD is exactly the same and I'm reaching the end of my rope. I'm so bloody tired now I've spent the last two weeks thinking it was May already 😑.

Watching with interest and hopefully someone will be along with some great tips for you

It's really not good is it? At first it's all cute and snuggly but months in and I can set my clock by the nightly "get me out of this hell hole and into the big bed" scream.

I know I need to be consistent but when it's the middle of the night and I need to be up at 6am it's just too easy to put her in my bed.

I need a plan!!

Shameless bump.

I feel your pain, same here with my 18mo. Not that this helps us, but could you try moving her into her own room to break the association? Saying that, my DD is in her own room and still wants to come into our bed!

We did get to breaking point a while back as she was in our bed every night and waking up every few hours and so wriggly. I was exhausted and my DH was spending every night in the spare bed so I knew we had to do something. So we did have to leave her to cry a bit, no longer than about a minute tops, just to show we meant business.

So this is what we did. After her milk and story I'd put her in her cot, cover her with her blanket and say goodnight, see you in the morning, I love you. Then I'd walk out. All hell would break loose. I'd go back in immediately, lie her back down, just say it's night time go to sleep now and walk out. Then I'd just keep repeating this, just leaving it a little bit longer each time. As long as you feel comfortable with, which wasn't very long for me! And do exactly the same for night wakes.

It was amazing how quickly it worked and she slept through for about a month in her own cot. Then she got ill and now she's teething so it's all gone belly up again and I've started bringing her into bed with us again, but on the plus side, she is now much easier to co sleep with so it's not too bad. She doesn't wake up at all until morning and isn't wriggly. So I kind of don't mind her in my bed, at the moment. Everything is a just passing phase, the good and the bad.

Sorry just seen in your first post you don't want to do controlled crying, which is kind of what I described. I don't think there's any way you can make a change to what your DD is used to without crying but if you feel better about it you can stay next to her while she cries rather than walking out. I must say I tried this first but I found staying next to her just made the whole thing take longer.

Came on looking for the same advice for my 14 month old. So similar op. I breast feed then rock her to sleep in the chair. Put her to bed and she sleeps until about 1.30 then wakes, and exhausted I bring her into bed where she wakes every hour or so until morning and I feed back to sleep. Except last night she woke at 1.30 and didn't go back to sleep until 5.15 I'm exhausted. She doesn't have a comfort toy at all.

I know what the health visitor would advise. Put her back in her cot over and over again until she sleeps. Be consistent. But it's so hard when your exhausted.

Thanks for the advice pip, I think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and do as you suggested. I will try it tonight and update tomorrow.

Its so true hool, it's having the motivation at 1:15am when you know you can just pop them in your bed and get an hour or two.

I know she can do it, when she has the occasional sleepover at my mums she sleeps right the way through in her cot like a dream! She just equates my bed with comfort and I need to break the cycle.

Right. She is in her cot. I am stood out of sight on the landing and she is showing no signs of weakness. she is popping her feet through the bars as a way of procrastination. I know she must be buggered because she is usually asleep by 7:30ish.

It was looking good about 15 minutes ago until the fucking cat walked past her bed and she saw it. Excited squealing commenced and we backtracked about 30 minutes of hard sleep training slog.

She is asleep!

Will update tomorrow for the PPs in the same boat as me.