2.8 year old wont sleep in her own bed. HELP !!!!

[Lolabelle]

Lolabells husband here

Can any one help, my DD wakes up in the middel of the night and wants to sleep in mummy and Daddys bed.
we have tried to settel her but the has major tantroms if we try and put her back in her own bed.
we really do need some help as we have a 4 day old DS at home.

everyone's different but I would take her by the hand, no talking at all, and put her back in her bed and shut the door. and do it as many times as it takes. No talking at all. ignore her except for taking her back to bed. be consistent though don't give in when you are shattered. it worked for us

We have a stair gate on ds door. We have just started to train him to stay in his bed/room at night (from a cot).
The stairgate seems to work well. He opens the door then changes his mind when he sees the gate and goes back to bed.

i would do exactly the same as Ska suggests.

maybe get a nightlight so that she isn't too scared, and make sure you read her a story or sit withher for a while until she is settled.

set the routine and keep trying. it took about a week with DD, and she really is a stubborn mare when she wants to be.

hi lolabelle's husband

congrats on your new baby

How important is it that she goes to her own bed? We co-sleep with dd2 because she is happier there, and we all get a decent night's sleep, without her disturbing her brother and sister by screaming when she is put back in her own.

I am not suggesting that you just leave her in your bed, but just letting you know that it is an option, there is no rule that says that she must sleep in her own bed. If her being in with you means you all get some rest, then let her stay.... with a tiny baby like you've now got, sleep is too precious to waste on sleep-training a toddler.

well firstly if we even try to take her back to her own bed she has the hugest tantrum (tears,screaming, fighting etc) which is hard especially with a new sleeping baby nearby and secondly the baby gate idea causes the same reaction sadly..

we wouldn't mind sleeping with her for an easy life but when the new baby cries during the night she practically wkaes up as if it is moring and starts playing, running around the upstairs getting toys and being really quite high maintennace and if we try and settle her anywhere she starts resisting and tantruming. Tonight i have offered to sneak into her room and sleep with her in her bed so when she wakes up i am there to give my wife a break from the chaos but that means leaving my wife to do all the night feeds with our new baby and she had a c-section and needs to rest not get up all night. Its a no win situation it seems!

i honestly recommend the taking her back to her room routine. It's night, she should be asleep and she is probably trying to get mum's attention (not surprisingly). Not reacting makes it boring. Persevere and I'm sure it'll be ok in a matter of days or if not much longer. I have been there - good luck

So expect a few tantrums a see what happens?? I'm just thinking she works herself up so much she can make herself sick which is horrible to watch and she takes ages to calm down but persevere anyway and insist she goes back to bed?? Do they actually do this ever?? I imagine a HUGELY traumatic night ahead although i am inspired that it could work..

my dd did make herself sick from crying and i felt like a complete s**t but honestly it only happened once. You have to be calm and cool about it all. nothing bad will happen to her and she will begin to understand that she can get through the night ok. i'm sure she's desperate to see mum and i understand this but she doesn't want to get so worn out she can't enjoy playing with mummy when baby is napping daytimes. we did have her in our bed when she was small and sometimes do now if she is ill but normally she get sto be in her own special place. good luck