Does sleep training work? (8 moth old breastfed baby)

[Ju2017]

My 8 month old baby has always been a bad sleeper. From 2 months old to about 3 and half, she started waking up just once and I thought all my problems were solved and I was fresh as a daisy, only for us to go away to grandparents on holiday and she went back to waking up 2, 3, 4 or more times a night ever since. Now she wakes at midnight, 3am and 6am (minimum) and I feel destroyed, specially having to be back at work full time.

I feel I must be doing something wrong and want to try some sort of sleep training but I'm in a tricky situation as:

1. She started nursery 2 months ago and won't drink milk AT ALL during the day, only takes solids (from 8am to 6pm, 5 days a week), so she wants to breastfeed all the time when she's at home and I feel really bad to sleep train her by stop her from feeding at night

2. I always breastfeed her to sleep as to be honest, it's easy and quick. When the husband try to put her to bed she resist massively as she hates taking bottles, won't drink hardly anything, cries her heart out and it takes about an hour... which means that I'm always the one who has to do it and it's a big weight on my shoulders. Breaking this habit would involve lots of crying (probably for baby and ME!), lots of sleepless nights and huge amount of effort.

So basically my question is, has anyone been is a similar(ish) situation and was brave enough to try to sleep train their babies to sleep and succeeded? I guess it would be great to know if it would be actually worth it to go through all this pain or just ride it out until I'm old, grey and wrinkly!

Any light would be super apreciated! many thanks!!!

Hi,I absolutely remember this time. Absolutely HATED it and dreaded nights. We did sleep train but I didn't breastfeed......so I'm maybe it the right person to advise......

How much solids is she eating? X

I believe they give her 3 meals a day plus snacks. She also has some solids with me for dinner after she gets home. She's gaining weight well but i do worry about her liquids intake and the thought of removing that from her at night really scares me....

however, people say that if I stop feeding her at night she'll start taking her milk during the day and sleeping much better.... who knows...!?!?

I think I'd have to agree with what others are saying.....she's probably waking out of habit rather than need.....!

I broke that cycle by offering water every feed at night and he soon got the message and started waking up less!

I've got to say though that he wasn't that upset just awake x

That' interesting. Someone else just suggested me I do that!

How long did it take your LO until he started sleeping better after offering water during the night? thanks xx

3 or 4 nights. I was like a crazy woman on a mission... didn't go into him unless really upset (which wasn't really ever) just whineing a lot......

They say that it's better if it's the person without the milky boobies who does this for a few nights to crack them so if I was you I'd check into a hotel for a week and leave your other half to it!!! X

I does sound as though she is reverse cycling a bit. At 8 months the main source of food should by far be milk and if she’s not getting any during the day she’s going to want it when she can. How have you tried to get her to take the milk? Have you tried a cup at all?

Yes, I read somewhere that I could try a gradual approach by reducing the length of feeds and eventually just sending the dad in with a bottle of water until baby starts getting the message. Just worried about her resistance to get the milk during the day.

I have tried different bottles but that hasn't worked. She knows how to drink from all of them when she wants to... she just refuses to do so! They manage to give 3oz of formula in her porridge for brekkie but that's about it for now.

Yeah I would worry about that to. It’s a long time to go without milk, especially when she started at 6 months. The 3 hourly wakings could suggest actual hunger. Have you tried a cup with a straw. We have the munchkin tip and sip cup and he will actually drink formula out of it. I literally tried every bottle when he was little, I even bought the Minbie which is a special one for BF babies with a great success rate and even that didn’t work. I spent £100. I eventually gave up and then started using the tip and sip cup for water. He took it no bother and when I tried it with milk he drank it! It’s the only cup we use.

Yes, I can tell she does take a lot of milk during the night which means she’s def using this time to take her milk’s worth! Babies are quite clever though so the hope would be that removing the night feeds would force her to start taking te milk during the day.... but I don’t know if I’m brave enough to try and fear it could harm her somehow...

Was also thinking about buying the minbie but as the other bottles didn’t work, I gave up the idea! And thanks for the cup tip! Will give it try!!!

Please don't think it's going to harm her! You need some sleep time back! If you do try a technique then you've got to persevere and stay focused or else it doesn't work. It might get worse before it gets better but it's totally worth it x

Definitely sounds like she needs the milk in the nigntime. Have you also read up on the 8-10 month sleep regression? It’s a bastard! But it gets a lot better afterwards x

God no she doesn't need it in the nighttime at all crazy cat lady!

The op is keen to improve her nights not keep them as they are !!

if you can give her a few nights without milk or with much less she'll learn and take more in the day!

I go back to work in a month and. Can see myself having the exact same problem- baby won't take a bottle, only wants boob, walks up three times etc. The health visitor I spoke to last week really surprised me - she said don't worry about bottles or formula, that with three meals and snacks and a feed morning and before bed then baby should be fine.

@useruserbored

Yes, just trained my 6.5 month old and she's breastfed. It took 3 nights. However...she was already going into her cot at bedtime wide awake. A few weeks back I stopped the breastfeed right before bed and moved it back 45 mins earlier to 6.15 to break the milk = full tummy = sleep association. I think we had a couple of nights of crying at that point but nothing major. Next I tackled some of her night wakeups because I wanted her to stop the 10pm and 1am feeds, mainly because I thought she didn't need them. We did this about 10 days ago, 3 nights of crying, decreasing each time. DH went in to check she wasn't ill/dirty nappy and then we left her to it as popping in and out seemed to make it worse for her.

Please do not take CIO advice for your 8 month old baby! I promise you it gets better over time, and night waking and night feeds are TOTALLY NORMAL.

No one Mentioned cry it out!

Get milk in her during the day.....doesn't nec have to be in a drink.......

X

They're actually not totally normal at 8 months
.
It's a good age to sleep train. It's controlled crying not cry it out and start with putting your baby in their cot awake at Bed time - the first evening it will be hard be prepared for having to go in and out for around 45 minutes but by the third evening it'll be no more than ten mins.

People get very confused about controlled crying. Under six months it's not advised at all but it's important once solids are established and a good weight for their age that you establish night time as sleep time. People will tell you not to do this but they will be the ones with school aged children that have sleep issues still. Some are lucky and there babies grow out of it but it's not likely.

You will not be causing your baby and harm. This will not have any long term effect on stress levels etc...It infuriates me when people compare three nights of controlled crying from a loving parent to the long term effects of neglected babies.

You and your baby will be happier and healthier with good sleep. Good Luck

ps on the first night DH went in with a bottle of water. Didn't go down well, she was furious. So not sure it is worth it. Honestly it's so hard but try and sleep in a different room and leave your DH to it - I went to the spare room on the top floor, put ear plugs in and ran white noise. He sat up miserably watching TV until she stopped crying when he went to bed. We've gone from 3 wake ups a night to one at around 4-5am when I am happy to feed her as I've got a good block of sleep in myself.

I sympathise as I’m back full time at work and still up feeding my 9 mo at least twice a night. She doesn’t drink much milk at all during the day. It’s normal for their age and the situation and I know she’ll grow out of it eventually. Yes I am a bit tired but my DH gives me a lie in at the weekends. It’s really common for their sleep to get really crap around this age and despite what people tell you an awful lot of babies aren’t sleeping through at this point.
Sorry no practical advice there but sometimes nice to know you’re not the only one

Thanks for talking sense @Creatureofthenight 👍🏻

I think it's very normal for breastfed babies to feed at night, especially if the little one is getting her milk in take at this point rather than during the day. I wouldn't stop the night feeds yet. She probably wants to reconnect with you after being apart.

Very well for me to say that when you're exhausted tho :/

Idk if your daughter has started crawling but my son (8 months, terrible sleeper) has been sleeping better (albeit for 4 nights only) since he learned to scoot around.

I don't know what to do, however. I do everything wrong. I bedshare and boob in bed whenever he wants because he won't go down in his cot and he settles quickly if I shove my nipple in his mouth.

There's lots of great advice here.

(From other posters, I mean)

We started a very gradual withdrawal/ retreat type of sleep training with ds1 when he was 8 months. It did take a good couple of months and I was breast feeding and he would not feed in the day because he was too distractable. As it was gradual I was confident that he was able to get the milk he needed and I was able to slow the process down if I thought he was not ready. I used the book ‘teach your child to sleep ‘ which had very factual information and step by step instructions on what to do. We used the method for a younger child as I would not let him cry without trying to comfort him - even if I was not giving him the comfort he really wanted! It did work