Wtf is going on with dd (18m) sleep?

[WinkyisbackontheButterBeer]

Until recently we could pop dd into her cot, kiss her goodnight and she would go off no problem.
Suddenly that stopped and she started to get upset if left. All fine, we just sat with her. For the past month she has been waking in the night and taking ages to get back off. Co sleeping doesn’t help,
Then the last few nights she is getting really upset at bed and nap time. She is tired, her routine is exactly the same and she has all of her usual comforts but she fights for all she is worth. Won’t lay down, cries and shouts ‘no’ and gets upset at me even mentioning bedtime.
Any ideas? I am loosing my mind!

Bumping because I had the worst night yet last night and feel like a zomie 🧟‍♀️

This is a common occurrence around the time baby learns to walk and becomes physically more independant.

It's this unwillingness to lie down and springing back onto feet as soon as waking that characterises the stage.

So I'd suggest starting by stopping lying baby down at bedtime/naptime. Do your routine (story, into sleeping bag etc) then place baby into the cot standing up. Tap the mattress and tell her to lie down. Then just wait, looking at her expectantly and if needed keep repeating.

If practice is needed, do some instruction-following activities in the daytime. (Like 'Simon Says'). Or just give her more instructions to follow in general - like asking her to climb on the sofa for a cuddle. Climb down again on her own. You lie down and ask her to come send lie down too.

At bedtime, dont lie her down standing all anymore, ever. Get her to learn to snuggle down herself.

Once snuggled down, by all means stay with her, hand on her guest may help. But keep the expectation that she must be lying down. Nothing else should be acceptable at sleep time apart from lying down and being still send quiet.

Thanks fate. I appreciate the advice re lying her down.

She has been walking since 10m and we have never had this problem before.
It’s not so much a problem with lying her down it’s more the sudden and repeated nighttime wakenings and the fact that he is utterly besides herself as soon as she is taken up to bed.
I have honestly never seen her so upset.

Sorry that made no sense.
I meant thanks for the advice about getting her to lie down herself.

I think it's prob just a phase, we've just come out the other side of this phase with our 20 month old. 6 weeks of not napping, having to be cuddled to sleep and waking up screaming in the night. Fortunately normal service has now resumed! Sorry l think you'll just have to wait it out!

Does she already get put in the cot standing up and lie down herself?

If not, this can have some bearing on night wakes, which is why I mention it. She's likely to want the same conditions to go back to sleep as she had when going to sleep initially. That includes those brief 'environment check' wakes that would ordinarily involve just rolling over and going back your sleep.

If her 'going to sleep' conditions involve you lying her down and getting her snuggled, then instead of just rolling over and settling herself, she's likely to spring awake and start screaming for you to help.

So this starts with you getting her to lie and snuggle down herself once in the cot, and ends with gradual withdrawal to gradually reduce your intervention/presence at sleep time.

Gradual withdrawal isn't likely to work until she can independantly settle herself in the cot completely on her own, which is why I mentioned it first.

The other option would be less gentle and involve more crying - leaving her to cry while you leave gorgeous periods of time.

Until a month ago she laid herself down and had slept through the night consistently for about 9 months. It had taken a while to get there and I had done lots of gradual retreat but it was consistent. She would give me a wave and go off all by herself.
She even woke in the night, stood up, had a look around and then decided to go back to sleep a few times.

It’s all just stopped. Honestly, you would have thought that I was murdering her when I got her grobag out last night.

Thanks sunday it’s nice to know that I am not alone! Glad that you have come out the other side.

I have a 19 month old and she "broke" about a month ago. Taking aaaages to go to sleep, naps and bedtime, screams if I leave but won't settle if I sit in chair by bed. I'm currently lying beside cot, which works but it's sloooow. I'm hoping we'll emerge from this soon and I can start retreating once she goes off in less than half an hour!

She went a bit unsettled around walking stage, but this is much worse. Apparently there is often regression around this age. No advice though. Unhelpful!

Ah, I had wondered Penny she seems to be rapidly picking up new words and I wondered if it was due to a developmental leap.
I have just spent an hour getting her to sleep. She has screamed and screamed. Everytime she was close to nodding off she would hit her face or pull her eye lid to wake herself up.
She seems to have inherited my stubborn streak.

I think language is playing a huge part here! We haven't had too much screaming (as long as I stay on the room) but she'll roll around for 30-45 minutes cycling through her whole vocabulary. She's currently naming all the kids in her nursery class while I lie on the floor and refuse to engage!

18 month sleep regression.

It’s the 18 month sleep regression and is often accompanied by a rerun of separation anxiety as they get more independent and start to develop imagination and fears. I remember it well from my 5 year old and I’m dreading it this time round again (my dd is 19 months and has just started sleeping through agghhhh!!)
She will get through it, you just need to provide lots of reassurance while being firm that she needs to lie down and stay in the cot. I know it’s hard but try not to create any bad habits. Things that helped my DD first time round were introducing a night light and making sure she had her favourite teddy. You might need to do gradual withdrawal again if she is suffering from separation anxiety. Good luck x

Bhar78
Thank you. It makes me feel better just knowing that there is a reason why.
I did think that it was likely but if you googl it, sleep regression seems to come up at every age.
I’m afraid that good sleeping habits have gone out of the window completely. The only way to get her off at the moment is to hold her tight restrain her and rock.

She’s such a happy, lively, little thing during the day but the mere mention of bed starts off the screaming.