15 week old - unpredictable nighttime sleeping

[Ftm86]

Hi, this is my first time posting on MN. I am a FTM to a 15 week old who has never been a great sleeper. She is a breastfed baby so I expect her to wake once or twice a night to feed and some nights this is exactly what she does. However the times at which she wakes can be wildly different from night to night, some nights she goes straight back to sleep after feeding, other nights (like last night) it can take 3hours to resettle her after she wakes!! Then other nights (few and far between) she has slept right thought for 8+ hours without waking! I just never know what I’m going to get from night to night and was just wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation or has any tips on how to manage this? Or maybe it is just down to personality of my DD? Daytime naps are on the other hand predictably poor... wakes screaming at 30 min to the min and impossible to resettle. I’m feeling a bit desperate at min with sleepless nights and no time during day!! Any advice appreciated. Ps. She refuses to take a dummy, although I think this would help her settle!

Please google 4 month sleep regression

Try reading the Gentle Sleep Book by Sarah ockwell Smith to learn about what is actually normal for baby sleep

Oh and, at almost 10mo, bf, my DS still wakes more than 2x, and still needs a feed, so perhaps try to maximise rest in other ways

Thanks for your reply. I have heard of the 4 month regression but don’t think that is what is going on as this has been ongoing since DD was 4 weeks.
And I can cope with the 2 night wakenings. It is just a problem those times when it takes 2-3 hrs to resettle after feeding and I don’t know what the reason is.
I will look into the 4 month regression again and the book you mentioned may be useful as I’m really just not sure what’s normal!! But it doesn’t help when everyone else is saying how their babies are so settled and sleeping through the night and have a great routine going. It just makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. And I worry my DD is not getting the rest she needs. Thanks again for your advice.

My 10 month old is bf and he has never ever slept through the night ever. Newborn he would wake every 2 hours like clockwork to feed. We had a good period around 11-13 weeks where he woke to feed once or twice a night and resettled very easily. He then got worse again. 5 months was hell - fought sleep with every fibre of his being and he would often be awake for a couple of hours every night (not feeding- just awake). Things improved from about 6.5 months and we are now down to 2-3 wake ups and he generally re-settles ok but it's up and down. He is also an early riser - during the 5 month period he was waking at around 4am but we have now just about managed to push it to 6am.

There really is no 'normal'. Ime everyone will relish telling you how their baby slept through from a week old because they had such a good bedtime routine / used a myhummy / switched to hungry baby formula or whatever. Truth is, it's all developmental. You can encourage good sleep habits but you can't make a baby sleep. I would advise napping when the baby does (if you can get the baby to nap!), being kind to yourself and remembering that everything right now is a phase - this too shall pass. I also go to bed when DS does when I'm really tired. Sure it means a few early nights but then he often does a 4 - 5 hour stint before his first wake up so it means I get some much needed uninterrupted sleep. It may be worth doing the same if you are not guaranteed a good sleep. Good luck!

Yep, DS bed at 8 and i try to head up as soon after 9 as i can get my sh** together

Thanks KatnissK and arbrighton. It’s good to know I’m not the only one struggling with sleep issues. Going to bed early is good advice. I do sometimes go at same time as DD but then feel like I never see DH anymore as he is only home from work in evening. I think this is just how it going to have to be for a while!

I feel like that about Dh sometimes, especially as he then tends to be getting on with DIY etc at weekends while I inevitably seem to have DS but it will pass

Yes unfortunately they do this. Once they start being alert, and in our case much worse from 4 months. They do get better