three month old naps and bedtime

[stevethecadman]

Hi,
I’ve read lots of useful posts here so thought it was time to sign up and share my own specific situation.

Me and my partner are FTPs and our little boy has just turned 3m old. He seems to be a ‘high needs’ child who is very alert and active and has always needed help to sleep (holding with rocking, patting shushing). The first couple of months were very difficult as he suffered badly with colic and would only sleep on me or DP day and night, so we did shifts and we got through it.
Now he is 3m, the colic has stopped and we are able to put him down at night in his bedside cot (with sleepyhead) after rocking him to sleep so we do feel like we have come pretty far but are struggling a little with the last nap / bedtime – it always seems to go a bit wrong and we often end up with an overtired boy which can’t be good for a restful night’s sleep.
This is the pattern we have fallen into:

8am wake, nappy, breastfeed, play until tired signs
10am nap in sling
12pm wake, breastfeed, nappy, play until tired signs
2pm try to put down in bedside cot, sometime works, often doesn’t. Most sleep ever = 35 mins. Revert to sling for a good nap.
4pm wake, breastfeed, nappy, play until tired signs
6pm nap in sling (hopefully until 8pm but LO often wakes after an hour).
8pm wake, breastfeed, bath, change, breastfeed
9:30pm into growbag, up to bedroom for formula bottle (usually has 160ml) then rocked to sleep before putting down in bedside cot (may take a few goes before he gets into a deep sleep)
2am wakes for breastfeed then back to cot
5am wakes for breastfeed then back to cot

So the 6pm nap is often not as long as we plan and we can be left with 3 hours until bedtime and an over-tired boy.
Obviously we could try to put him to bed earlier, say 8:30pm if he wakes at 7pm, but we’ve never tried him going to bed before us and (as he refuses to sleep in his cot during the day and we don’t know when ‘day’ becomes ‘night’ for him) we’re not sure he will actually sleep.

I’d really appreciate any advice you have about the routine and times. Also anything about sleeping in the sling for naps. We’ve read a lot about this and decided to go with it if that’s what he needs. We are however trying to put him down in his cot for a nap once a day, even though it rarely works, we figure it’s good practice for the future!

Thanks

Good god, your schedule looks really really structured and has absolutely terrified me. My LO is 3 months old too and we only have a night routine. Our baby will only nap in pram, car or sling and will only go to sleep is rocked, shushed. She's too interested in everything and it's normal for a 3 month old isn't it? You are expecting a lot from your LO. I am EBF and feeding on demand during the day. She is now wanting the breast less as it seems she's more efficient at drinking. Our "routine" is:
Wake up between 7-9am depending on what sort of night we have had
Breastfeed on demand throughout day.
Play if she's interested.
Try to get her to sleep between 3-4 times a day for as long as we can by whatever means necessary
Bath at 8pm
Breastfeed for however long she wants, put down in Moses basket by 10pm
She then wakes 1-2 times a night for feeding.

Haha! It looks more structured on paper, believe me!

It's only in the last few days that we've noticed he's usually awake for about 1:45 before tired and usually sleeps for about 2:15 in the sling before waking. So that's given us these tidy little 4 hour blocks but I hear you re: just doing what you've got to do to survive - your schedule could totally apply to us too so please don't be terrified!
Just wish we could work out something consistent between 6pm and 10pm that would work for us.

We too noticed at 12 weeks that feeds got much shorter, this is common apparently as they suddenly learn to drain the boob very efficiently. Can be a little disconcerting when it coincides with their growth spurt and they're always hungry!

I remember having the same issues at around 3 Months. I think it was culminative over-tiredness and it sounds like you might have the same thing.

2hour awake time is actually quite long for this age - I would try to cut it down to 1.5 hours and see if that helps. I was very much baby led & on demand with everything - but this was the first thing I did consciously introduce that felt like it made a real difference.

If he naps for an hour then you go for the earlier bed time. Do the bedtime routine and then he can sleep on you/in a Moses basket in the lounge etc until you go bed. He's too young to be left in his cot so you need him to stay with one of you and 8 is a good bedtime to get in the habit of.

But, things will change! It's very early days and things go up and down a lot in the early months so try not to have this rigid plan in your head because on a few weeks, he will not be following this routine. You can either stress yourself out trying to follow it or you can try to make your routine (as in the timing of things) more flexible to fit the developmental stage that he's in. Keep the structure the same if it works for you but don't get hung up on the time at the moment.

Thanks for your replies. We do follow his cues rather than the schedule and, sure enough, today he has totally changed things up! He’s been very hungry and had short naps early in the day and a long nap 6pm to 8pm so we’re just getting ready for bed. Will follow your advice, teaandbiscuits, if and when he has a short evening nap.
It’s good to hear other’s experiences and to know the occasional problem is to be expected.