HELP!! 23 mo just moved to bed from cot and won't sleep. Any advice?

[JonahB]

I've just moved my 23 month old from a cot to a bed. He's always been a fantastic sleeper, never woke up in the night. We moved him out of his grobag into a duvet/bed last week. It went really well for a week, now it's all going wrong. He woke at 2:30am last night and took an hour to settle.

Tonight, he refuses to go down at all. If I go in and lie with him on his bed, he'll lie there peacefully, but as soon as I come out, he follows me to the door and stands at the stairgate crying. When I go to him after a few mins, he's standing there, shaking and hysterical. Any suggestions at all? This is a bit of a nightmare.

Also, should i think about re-introducing his grobag? He doesn't seem to like the duvet over him, but its a bit cold for just pj's?

Are you using a heavy duvet? I was told by the guy in John Lewis that young children really don't need a heavy one, that they get pretty warm in bed. Further, if they shuffle around a lot, as they tend to do, then it could be pretty scary to get stuck under a heavier duvet. He suggested that I get just a 4.5 tog one until ds is older. ds has been in his big boys bed now for over a year, with this lighter duvet, and has adapted really well. Our house isn't frantically warm, but it's true, he does get very warm when he sleeps, so anything more would be too much.

I just want to add that I too had sleep problems with ds in the month or so before dd was born (and again when she was about 2 months old), so agree they can detect change is imminent. Still, following the putting back to bed routine worked a treat and I now have an angel sleeper. Shame that can't be said for his baby sister!

Hi Jonah,

Just to say-thanks for all this-am moving DD into her big bed this week and cant say im looking forward to it-but like you I need the cot for the new baby..am comforting myself with the thought that I will probably be up anyway with the new one..so being up with DD fretting about the bed wont be so bad?(I can hope anyway..)

Speak to you on the May thread soon..

Hi JB, dd not too bad tonight, down just after 7.30pm (up a bit later waiting for dh to get home) and finally stopped chatting at around 8.45pm, had to go and re-settle aournd 9pm as she decided she needed a cuddle from us both, then she rolled over as we left the room and has been sleeping since.

The lighter duvet thing is a great idea, we just bought a 7 tog for dd but a 4.5 would be fine too - we felt that a big duvet would be too much. If worried about being cold those all in one fleecy suits would prob work over the top of pj's too. We just tend to cover dd up when we check on her as we go to bed, although she's better at staying under the covers the last few nights.

It prob doesn't feel like it but it does sound like things are slowly improving at your end (hard to feel pos when in the middle of it all). We've had a couple of nights when dd's gone down no bother and we've not had to re-settle but tonight is pretty much typical. Not been up in the night for a few in a row now thank goodness.

Hope tonight brings further improvements and you don't get woken at some ghastly time.

Hiya JonahB. Have just skim-read the thread so I might be repeating what others have said. With DS1 we kept him in his gro-bag for quite a while because it gave him some security I think. I also ended up sitting by his bedroom door each night (where he could see me), just until he nodded off. We also had to do the putting him back to bed, no eye contact thing too.

One other thing, perhaps he might be getting to the age when he's ready to give up his nap? DS2 is a bit hit and miss these days - sometimes if he has one he won't go to bed until 9pm.

Good luck, hope he settles down soon. I know how hard it is having to traipse up and downstairs when heavily pregnant and tired yourself. I was a very grumpy mummy with DS1 and didn't take into account all the upheavals going on in his life - looking back I wish I'd given him more reassurance really.

It easy... Put the big bed in the same room as the cot, but tell dc they're not allowed to sleep in it because 'Big beds are for big boys/girls'.

Then try keeping your dc out of it!

Thanks for the duvet/sleeping ideas feedback. I bought the lightest tog duvet ASDA had on offer, can?t remember what it was, but I will double check ? thanks. Whenever I?ve tried to pull the duvet over him, he sort of tummy-shuffles away from the offending item, whilst maintaining sleep position. If I wasn?t so tired, it would be very cute. I will keep persevering with that one

2happy/Twiga, hope you?re night improved a little?..
Good luck, Scooter!

Last night did go a bit better. He went down when I put him to bed initially. Had to repeat the exercise at 11pm and 3am, but both times he went down first time and I didn?t have to go back again to him. I?m discounting the extra visit at about 9pm from DH, as DH woke him up, therefore I don?t feel I can hold DS responsible for that (note to self: don?t become one of those mothers who blames ?my precious angel?s? behaviour on everyone else around him as he simply couldn?t have been at fault?.)

I did ask him at the 11pm visit if he?d like me to leave the landing light on and he said yes. It is easier when they can tell you what they want, isn?t it?

Good luck for tonight everyone??

JonahB - we swapped our DD over in Jan (had to as needed her to bein a bed for upcoming holiday) and for continuity she staye din her bag until jsut the other week when the weather warmed up. She had a duvet on her bed but not overly pulled up and seemed to have no issues - quite impressed that she had a bed and duvet like Mummy and Daddy did. She had a bug lsat week and was getting really hot so we took her bag off - a few nights of off nightmares/unsettled waking but nothing too bad. I can omagine that going from cot/bag combo to bed/duvet may be too much all in one. We also left the cot in the room for a while and elt her chose - but she always wanted her big girls bed (but I suspect knowing she had the choice made a big difference).

No doubt we'll have a few issues when current bump arrives and she sees her cot out again but we'll face that when we have to - any hints from anyone out there fore that one??

Hi JB, how have the last couple of evenings been? Things here been ok, dd still taking a good hour to actually go to sleep, seems to spend that time chatting away and playing but hasn't been shouting for us which has been nice. Been woken up the last couple of nights by her crying but she hasn't actually woken - is cutting molars just now and I think it's a more a wee moan in her sleep but loud enough to wake us with a bit of a start then just as we're geting up it all stops.

Hope the lack of posts on here means things are good!

Oh FFS. He tried looking sideways at me this afternoon because I'd changed the bed sheets and these ones have a different design...Just because I'd changed the sheets?!!

Hope things're improving for you, Jonah

Hmm, still not good here, I?m afraid. We have just tried moving DS?s bedtime back ½ hr, hoping that then he?d be more tired and likely to go to sleep. He spent his lunchtime sleep sleeping in front of the stairgate in the door entrance. He is currently crying for me now.

When precisely is this going to get easier ?

Maybe tomorrow I?ll try reverting back to the grobag.

Twiga, glad it?s going better in your house.

Oh JB , poor you! Reverting to grobag sounds like a good idea, he might just feel a bit more secure? Hope tonight doesn't drag out for too long and that our dh is around to help.