Just shouted at my ten month old

[PlanetMJ]

I am so upset and feel like I don't deserve to be a mum. My ds has always been a terrible sleeper and at seven to eight months I feared for my mental health as things got so bad. Things got better but this is the third night in a row that they have just gone to utter shit and I just lost it.

He has woken every 45 minutes and won't settle back to sleep. We co-sleep and breastfeed. It did improve to the point where he was only waking 5-6 times and a week ago he only woke four times but it was 13 times last night.

If he just fed and went back to sleep I could cope but it's the pinching, clawing and endless painful comfort sucking I just cannot stand. He has been awake for 1 hour and fourty five minutes doing it. I have been trying to unlatch but he wakes and screams in rage and then bit me. I shouted "stop it stop it stop it" and punched my pillow. DJ came in from the spare room and has taken him into his room to try and rock him and put him into his cot.

He has had Calpol. Last night I gave ibuprofen too just in case of teething and it didn't seem to make a difference.

DH has never been able to settle him at night. In the day he takes him in the pushchair to nap. He lost his dad three weeks ago and has been suffering with insomnia so I feel awful disturbing his sleep.

His daytime naps have been a struggle the last few days as well, I usually feed to sleep but he has fought me, biting and pinching.

Please be gentle, I am disgusted with myself for shouting, he is old enough to understand.

@absolutelycrackers who are you to tell me not to ‘dare’ say something?! Calm down.

It did, and does get better. I know exactly how it feels and sympathise with you OP.

It got better for you

It gets better for the majority of people Night waking and needing parental assistance at night time is normal.

Waking every 45 minutes at 10 months is Not normal . Absolutely not . A newborn yes . A 6 week old yes . At 10 months waking is normal but it is nit normal or good for a baby or a parent to be waking that often

Sometimes it also doesn't just get better alone.

My 7.5 month old bf DS was the same except didn't Co-sleep (he was still after milk/suckling) but he was in a cot in his own room so I'd spend the whole night in there on spare bed- however I was so tired we tried the cry it out method. Total cold turkey. He was eating 3 meals a day and supper before bed so I knew he wasn't hungry.

Night one he cried for 20 mins at a time 4 times. Night two same but just twice and night three he did a yelp at about 1am and has slept through (10-11hrs) since apart from when ill or badly teething etc. Hard but the best I thing I did! He was a much happier baby having had a good sleep and not overtired for naps which also improved.

Doesn't work for everyone but worked for us!

Good luck with whatever you try.

I'm not a massive fan of cc, but in your shoes I absolutely would OP. Good luck.

From my own experience and from hearing/reading other mums’ experiences I would argue that a ten month old baby waking every 45 minutes is actually very normal, particularly in breastfed babies. There is so much going on at that age; massive leaps in development, teething, growth spurts, separation anxiety etc. Plus their sleep cycles are around 45 minutes long so a particularly wakeful baby isn’t able to fall back to sleep without comfort and support. CC/CIO doesn’t teach them to ‘self soothe’, it just teaches them that crying is futile. But like everything else as a parent, it’s completely subjective. You do what is best for you and your family.

But I’m in the ‘it will get better’ camp. She says writing this post at 4am with a needy baby next to me

I know it’s like child abuse on MN, but if comfort sucking is the problem then a pacifier would fix it. You can keep it away in the daytime if you’re concerned. Certainly beats CC.