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Sleep

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Original poster

Is this rubbish or ok for a 6 month old?

28 replies

123456kent · 11/04/2018 07:27

I’ve been happy with sleeping in general for the past 4.5 months or so (apart from a very rough fortnight or so) but now I’m getting to the stage where I think my expectations are too low, and it’s also getting worse.
She goes down at 7.30pm.
I dream feed at 10.30pm (breast feed)
She used to do a good stint here, but now it’s become about 1.30am - feed.
Feed again about 4.30am.
6am wake up.
My OH also wakes me throughout the night snoring.
Is the above normal for a 6 month old? I’ve been telling myself this is part and parcel of being a breastfeeding mum but I’m starting to think this is worse than it should be. She’s not going for more than 3 hours. When she was 3 months old she did a few 8 hour stints!! What’s gone wrong and what can I do to to help.
She’s still in our room and I’m relucant to move her because I’m the one who will be up feeding in a cold room in the night

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

userabcname · 11/04/2018 07:28

Yeah sounds like my DS. He is 10 months old now and will do the odd 6/7/8 hour stint but the last couple of nights it's been every 2-3 hours as he is teething.

londonloves · 11/04/2018 07:56

I think this is pretty normal from what I can gather from my friends. Can you get your OH to sleep in spare room if you have one so at least he's not disturbing you?

Madbee · 11/04/2018 08:51

That sounds marvellous to me, to be honest! My 6 month old manages nothing like that.

sw2102 · 11/04/2018 08:55

Better than my 6 month old most nights! At least yours is sleeping in the evening..mine is not, unless I'm with them and then usually bed around 11 then up between 3-4 Then again anywhere between 6-8. Like you was also having much longer stretches when they were younger. Don't know what to do either other than wait for the nex5 phase!

teaandbiscuitsforme · 11/04/2018 09:51

My 15mo slept through for a while at 12mo. He currently wakes 2-3 times on a good night.

IME most people's sleep expectations are way too high and people don't accept that sleep often goes up and down. There will be better phases and worse phases! And then once you think you've cracked it, that's when it goes really wrong!

The point is always - how do you feel? If you feel ok (not super rested because who is!!) then you're doing fine and it sounds totally normal for a BF baby.

Bananarama12 · 11/04/2018 10:54

My bottlefed nearly 6 month old goes to bed between 6 and 7. Wakes up at 10.30, 1.30 for a bottle and then up for the day at 5.30 😴😴 so seems normal to me.

April45 · 11/04/2018 11:06

Sounds good, up twice. I remember thinking the same tgat when younger they did longer but there needs are different now.

FortheloveofJames · 11/04/2018 11:08

Sounds very normal to me! Agree with the above that a lot of people’s sleep expectations are waaaay to high and they expect too much. Just because a baby sleeps well for a few days or weeks doesn’t mean the will every night going forward. Some do obviously but for the vast majority sleep isn’t linear in the first year.

The only thing I would say is that for us moving DS to his own room improved things drastically. He’s BF too and I worried about being up down up down but things have improved masively for us since he moved.

Also get some earplugs for the snoring! I use them because DP snores and I can’t stand it (not envy). You’ll still be able to hear DS with foam ones but takes the edge of the snoring I found.

scotchpie · 11/04/2018 11:13

Your DH might be waking up baby too.

Sleeplikeasloth · 11/04/2018 11:47

I'd say it's not great tbh.

Original poster

123456kent · 11/04/2018 12:16

He can sleep in the spare room and this is what I suggested this morning in my angry state at being up so early after a broken night.
Do I feel rested - well because I have the luxury that she is my first, I sleep when she sleeps, so she went back for a nap 2 hours after waking up and we both slept in my bed for over 1.5 hours! So I catch up there - but that feels wrong and I know is not ideal. But then I suppose, if it works for us, it’s fine... isn’t it?
I think we are really near to moving her to her room, I just need to work out the logistics of it.
I was hoping weaning would help but I think it’s made it inadvertently worse as I’m forgetting to milk feed with all the preparing/feeding/cleaning/changing nappies.
Once again, feeling like a big mum failiure!

OP posts:

Buglife · 11/04/2018 12:20

My DH slept in the spare room the whole time DS was in with me, no need for all of us being together and waking each other up. That pattern sounds similar to my DS at that age. If you don’t do the dream feed when does your DD wake naturally for a feed? I felt the dream feed did nothing for DS as he always still woke at 1am for another whether I did it or not.

FortheloveofJames · 11/04/2018 12:33

You’re not a failure at all. It is absolutely okay to do what works and is right for YOU and YOUR baby. Babies wake frequently- it’s part of the course, napping when she does if you can is a great way to catch up on sleep, enjoy it while you can. Nothing wrong at all.

Original poster

123456kent · 11/04/2018 16:48

If I don’t do the dream feed she wakes around the same time as she has started waking (used to go longer). The reason I’ve persisted with it is I found pyshologically it meant I could sleep for those hours better, even through noises from her, as i knew she wasn’t hungry. As she is up at 1am now anyway, perhaps it’s time to revisit that dream feed.
I just feel like I get it wrong a lot! Went back to sleep with her for her nap today which lasted ages, so we both didn’t eat breakfast until 10am, is this setting bad patterns for a 3 meal a day routine etc etc? Constantly second guessing myself!
But, in general, I don’t feel tired, because what I lose at night I make up for in the day, I prioritise napping over everything else (washing, cleaning, cooking etc!)

OP posts:

teaandbiscuitsforme · 11/04/2018 17:27

You're getting nothing wrong!

I learnt having my second that sleep when they sleep is not only possible, but it's absolutely the best way to function. Mine are now 3 and 15mo and we all go for a lunchtime nap every day.

As for breakfast - she's 6mo, it's fine. She wouldn't have slept if she was hungry so no issues there. I've always worked on the basis at that age that if it's a mealtime and they're awake, they eat. If they're asleep and you're eating, enjoy. If you're both asleep, sleep bears food any day!

Don't worry about 'routine'. Go with what your DD is telling you.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 11/04/2018 17:29

Meant to say I would also prioritise naps! I've found it much easier to do cooking, cleaning etc in short bursts with the kids awake rather than doing it when they were asleep. Do whatever works for you!

Original poster

123456kent · 11/04/2018 17:43

Yes I definitely do any chores that need doing while she is awake!
I love the idea of a lunchtime nap altogether. I try and nap with her on the first one of the day, before I’ve showered etc, as that’s when I can fall asleep within minutes.
I suppose yes, at 6 months, meals/naps etc can be loose. I just felt like a very slobby mum giving her breakfast at 10am (although she had been breastfed prior to that, so she wasn’t starving!)

OP posts:

Ceecee18 · 11/04/2018 20:57

It could be worth trying a night with her in her own room, just to see if it makes a difference.

My DD only woke once a night from 3-5 months then this gradually got worse and she was waking 2/3 times a night and waking early (5:30/6ish). At 7 months we put her in her own room and she's slept through since. I think us moving and DPs snoring were waking her.

Original poster

123456kent · 12/04/2018 07:15

We put her in her own room last night and after the dream feed at 10.30pm, she fed at 3.30am, and then woke at 6am. An improvement (hate to complain - but that’s still too early wake up for me!!)
So hopefully this is a positive step. I didn’t get interrupted by OH snoring either! So had a good night. Will keep on putting her in her own room!

OP posts:

Addictedtohavingbabies · 12/04/2018 07:25

My 6 month old sleeps through most nights after I give a dream feed. You'll probably find once they start having more solids during the day they will wake less.

TammySwansonTwo · 12/04/2018 07:43

My twins started sleeping through at 3.5 months... for two weeks. Then they started waking up approx every 2 hours, and rarely at the same time, and they kept that up until they were over a year. Since about 15/16 months they’ve started only waking once or occasionally one will sleep through. Sometimes they’ll wake up more.

You’re not doing anything wrong, following their lead is the way to go. Don’t worry about schedules yet!

All I would say is to prioritise milk over solids at this age - at six months one solids meal a day is fine, it’s more important that they get the milk they need

crazycatlady5 · 12/04/2018 09:55

Totally normal.

SundayGirls · 12/04/2018 10:05

Maybe she's hungry and that's why she's not sleeping for longer?

Every baby is completely different but the schedule you describe is very similar to a newborn's. At 6mo she could definitely sleep in longer stretches (not to say she has to, or every baby does, just that she could physically do so). Have you introduced solids yet (or baby porridge, or rusks, that kind of carb type food?) Why not try it, see if it helps.

Crumbelina · 12/04/2018 10:07

That's exactly the same as my six month old.

Ceecee18 · 12/04/2018 15:34

Milk has more calories than solids though, so increasing solids might not work. DD is almost 9 months now, and most days has three meals a day (although she throws most of it around) but when she has only 2 meals it makes no difference to her sleep. What does make a difference is her milk intake. She does 10 hours overnight rather than 12 if she's not filled up on milk before bed.

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