Please help me with routine?

[NomsQualityStreets]

DS2 is 4 mo, currently in the snuzpod attached to the bed. He's a bad sleeper, used to go 8.30pm-1.15am then wake every 2hrs but since he had an ear infection things never went back to how they were.

On average he is up every hour to hour and a half. More often than not does not want a feed just fidgets and needs rocking to sleep with dummy.

At the moment DS1 who is 3 goes to bed at 7pm usually start his routine around 6ish he more often than not has a bath, then pjs, brush teeth and we read a book in his room before the lights go off.
If DP is at home we take turns and one of us will look after DS2 as he's never asleep at that time whilst the other puts DS1 down. If I'm on my own I'm usually holding DS2 and he sits on my lap and I read to both of them but DS2 often gets bored and starts crying.

After DS1 goes down me and DP will often watch a bit of TV and potter around downstairs with DS2, he is not as consistent as he used to be with his night time sleep (used to go between 8.30-9pm) now he can fall asleep anytime between 8pm-9.45pm. I then take him upstairs and put him in his snuzpod and usually need to give him a little feed to get him asleep again once I've put him down (EBF).
I'm getting frustrated with him being so up and down all night and I can never settle as a result either.

I'm hoping a good routine will help in the long run.

Any suggestions please?

Are you carrying him round downstairs until he falls asleep in your arms?

I would start bathing him and giving him a "proper" bedtime routine in the evenings, now OP. Start his bath Straight after DS1s (when he's bigger you can shove them in together if this isn't feasible now)

Bathe him, then take him to a dimly lit room to have his feed, then straight into his bed whether asleep or not.

If he cries, just pick him up and comfort him...then put him back. It will be frustrating but he'll begin to associate his bath and feed and the dark room with sleep and he'll grow naturally sleepy as time goes on...eventually he'll be easier to put down.

Hi, I think you could perhaps swap their bedtimes around. Put 3 yr old to bed slightly later so you can get the baby sleeping first? Obviously that's easier if there's two of you to do it. But I think an earlier bedtime might help, 9.45 pm is very late for a young baby and will mean less overall sleep especially if lots of waking up.

But to be honest 4 months onwards is a tricky time and disturbances like you describe are very normal, we had several months with both ours until about 9 months when the evenings were really broken.
Good luck

Better routines don't have to mean pick up-put down and leaving to cry. That will mean stress for what is still a very young baby (and for you too): they don't understand why you keep comforting and then leaving, and just get exhausted from crying.
I would avoid having baby downstairs with lights and TV as it will just increase stimulation. Take turns lying down and cuddling, or learn to use a sling and walk to sleep. It might take an hour but it might not. After a few months their sleep begins to improve naturally.