Sleeps worse when Dad nightshift?

[sleepymama157]

My youngest is 7 months. He's always been a crap sleeper but has eventually settled in his own room and we take turns to settle him if needed through the night.

He's generally been okay recently. Except when his dad is nightshift! He's truly awful for me! Could he possibly know? I have no idea. Last night he was great (Dad was home) - but tonight? Screaming the house down on and off since 1am. Really screaming. We only have a small house and I don't want him waking his big brother so we've had to come downstairs.

The really unsettled nights only seem to be when his dad is nightshift? (Same last week) I'm not overly anxious about him being nights (so don't think I could be transferring stress to him).

We take turns bathing him and getting him ready for bed but my husband actually puts him to bed most nights as I go up to bed when my eldest does so I can sleep earlier and get up with youngest in the first half of the night if needed so wondering if he could possibly be unsettled by his dad not putting him to bed? I have no idea but has anyone else experienced anything like this?!

If it’s a smallish house he might possibly miss his smell.

Alternatively is your routine a bit different when your DH is on nights?
I know the kids and I have a different routine when my DH is travelling for work.

Why not get your DH to cuddle up to a soft toy to transfer his smell and try giving it to your baby? Or you wearing a jumper if your DH’s when you go into comfort him?

See if that helps?

@Cavender many thanks! Will give it a try with the smell. Routine is exact same and in fact husband doesn't leave house till 8pm so the only thing that isn't happening is husband putting him to bed (which he does every night) but I do exactly same as he does otherwise. It's happened again tonight! Baby slept at his grans last night and slept sound till 4.45 then from 6 till 8am. Back to me and he's been up screaming three times since 12.30am (it's only 1,45am just now) 😩😩😩 never mind! Hopefully a coincidence and it's not just me! X

Why not switch to you putting him to bed sometimes even if your DH is home?

At 7 months though it could well be teething that’s causing him to cry, that comes and goes, it’s not to do with you.

You poor thing, I remember well how awful sleepless nights were. I’m in the USA so it’s only 8pm where I am.

So it could be sleep regression or the fact his routine changes when your DH isn't there as you're putting him to bed instead of your DH?

My youngest goes to bed perfectly for me but when I'm working or want a night off from bed time then they totally play up for DH and it can be 3+ hours later than their usual bedtime and DH is always at the end of his tether. I can do bedtime in 15 minutes.

You need to do bedtimes sometimes when DH is there too.

Are you more tense when he's on nights?

My OH works nights 2 nights a week as well, and I totally feel your pain as my little one is 9.5 months, and has never slept through, he still feeds twice a night, but when OH is working it seems to take an age to settle him back off to sleep after a feed! I have found that white noise calms him down, and settles him back off to sleep, so white noise might be worth a go, if you’ve not already tried it. My little one has Ewan the dream sheep, but on nights when he’s particularly unsettled I use an app on an old iPhone and put it near his cot, as that’ll last slightly longer. I hope you get some sleep soon. I have forgot what a decent sleep nights sleep feels like, and I work 5 days, and have a 4 year old as well, we all could go away for a fortnight with the bags under my eyes 😂 xx

Thank you all so much for all the replies. I'm sorry it's taken a while to reply. I ended up taking him in with me on my husbands third night working and he slept fine 🙄 But will definitely try maybe putting husbands tshirt next to his bed at night. Also going to switch who is putting him up bed when we are both home. I do sometimes get a little tense when I'm home alone with the boys so will try and relax! Also we have a "myhummy" white noise teddy but aren't really consistent with it, we use it sometimes, but might try using it more often. Definitely could be teething too or just playing up for mummy! So many "ifs" and "maybes" but I really appreciate all the comments, will just take time and trial/error! Thanks again fellow mums :) xxxx

Good luck!

One thing to think about. He might not actually be worse when your DH is on night. You might just feel that it’s worse because you are on your own.