My 5 month old DS is EBF
He's overall a "good" sleeper, though of course wakes in the night to feed. He goes to bed at 7 and will sleep for 4-6 hours. When he started waking every couple of hours overnight, I did start to leave him after a while, to see if he'd stop crying - and every other time he would be back to sleep again within 60 secs.
I love feeding him, I love the bond we have and know it's only a short period of time in the grand scheme of things.
But every now and then I panic and get upset and stressed at the thought that I am the only one who can put him to sleep. When a helpful close relative offers, I know there is no point as it will result in a lot of crying (no tears). Then I feel guilty, that it's my fault for "teaching" him one thing then taking it away at random (another worry of mine, that when it comes to sleep, I'm making all these decisions on my own, and I'm concerned I'm "getting it wrong"). Like when I decide not to feed him to sleep (stress, disaster), or if I decide to feed him to sleepiness but not fully asleep etc etc.
Sigh. I know he can sleep without feeding (he does it during the long stretches overnight), but every now and then I feel mildly hysterical at the thought that, say, DH can't just pop upstairs and put him down for his mid morning nap. I feel as if I'm staring over the precipice of a cliff, the cliff being the next who knows how many months of ds being entirely dependent on me for such a natural, necessary thing.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm willing to give him my whole time, he is so precious and I'm on mat leave for him, not a holiday. I love counting the hairs on his head as he sleeps. But when I'm tired, overstretched, and find myself retreating to the bedroom for the third time of the day, I feel a little despondent that there really is no choice in the matter.
Sorry for rambling, just need sone moral support