8 week old won't sleep on her back or alone

[Stefkie]

My DD is 8 weeks old now and has silent reflux. It's a lot better than it used to be and we only get a few occurrences of reflux in a day now, although I'm not sure if that's simply because she's sleeping on either me or my partner. If we lay her down in her basket (usually asleep) she'll stay asleep for, at most, 30 minutes before she's awake and fussing loudly. She tends to grunt a lot in her sleep and "wheeze". It's hard to describe the noise but it's not quite snoring. I think she is waking herself up! She hates being swaddled and she is always very hot (I'm currently sitting fully clothed with a dressing gown on, with the heating off, and she's in a legless, long sleeve vest and a thin blanket and she's radiating heat and she's quite happy. It's 4 degrees outside), so I'm scared of swaddling her anyway incase she overheats.

Last night we stripped the bed and she slept with me while my DH slept in the living room, and it took me 3 hours to get her to sleep, she then woke up 20 minutes later and I resorted to sitting up in bed with her on my chest watching Netflix and she slept for 3 hours. Today she's done nothing but eat and sleep with the occasional hour of being awake and generally happy. She's EBF and she spent all of yesterday on boob, and being generally fussy, so I think she might be going through a growth spurt.

I have hypersomnia, and my partner works full time, so we both desperately need sleep but at the moment one of us is awake while the other gets a few hours sleep. I want to be able to sleep in the same bed as my partner again.

We've tried elevating her in the basket to help with any reflux and she ends up sliding down the basket and waking up complaining because she's uncomfortable. I've tried feeding her to sleep, rocking her to sleep, walking up and down the hallway, white noise (we have a Ewan, and phone apps). We've tried a routine but it's hard to keep it up when she's asleep when I would usually start it and I hate having to wake her up because it takes so long to get her down again. I'm starting to really hate motherhood and we're both getting very low. I've been diagnosed with PND (counselling, no medication yet) and I feel like I'm stuck in a hole with no way out.

I just need some advice, and maybe someone to come and sort out her sleeping for me? 😂 Thanks for reading.

I’m really sorry that you are feeling low OP, but well done for getting help. I know It doesn’t feel it but you are doing a fantastic job and giving your baby everything she needs.

I know it’s incredibly hard because my DS was similar but unfortunately some babies are just like this. She’s so new to the world and being close to mummy and daddy is what she needs to feel secure and settled. It’s part and parcel of the course sometimes. We used a tight swaddle but I appreciate you are not comfortable doing this. Have you thought about a sleepyhead? It also works wonders for us and he only just transitioned out of it at 10 months. With the white noise do you have it playing continuously? I wouldn’t worry about a routine at moment- just do what you need to to get by and whatever is easiest. Given time she will start to settle.

In terms of the reflux what meds is she on? Also you say she is a bit wheezy? What are her nappies like? Any issues with her skin? I’m only asking because reflux and wheezing can be connected to CMPA. This causes babies tummy to be uncomfortable and some have real issues settling/sleeping. My DS has cmpa and things got a lot better when we cut dairy- although at 10 months we have started to introduce again.

Everything is a phase and it will pass and it will get easier. Be kind to yourself

Thank you for responding. We have a Cosydream, which is similar, just not built up on the edges. She manages to settle in that for very short periods and only if she's already asleep. She's managed about an hour today sleeping without me there, and I couldn't bring myself to nap to be woken up minutes later probably feeling worse. I even had to eat my dinner with her propped on a pillow on my knee, facing me, so she didn't scream the house down.

With Ewan it only lasts 20 minutes and when it stops she usually wakes up so we tend to put white noise on our phones, on low, near her head while she sleeps. This seemed to work for a little while and now it doesn't.

We've been given Gaviscon Infant and it's pretty useless. It works sometimes and doesn't work others. It's also a pain in the back side to give to a breastfed baby. You need to mix up the powder with 15ml of water, and give it half way through a feed. Our main problem with that is that sometimes she only needs one side before she's done, so you miss the window to give it to her, and she also tends to push it all back out and 80% of it ends up on the muslin. We've been recommended rinitadine by a breastfeeding specialist but I don't see the doctor until Tuesday when she also gets her first jabs.

Her nappies are generally very runny, and very yellow. I've been told they're perfect breastfed baby poos. She's also giving me a wet nappy about once an hour. She has a little bit of dry skin on her shins, and the smallest bit of cradle cap ever but other than that her skin is really good.

Ive managed to get her to go to sleep in the swing at the moment, but I hate depending on it to get her off to sleep. She has pretty good neck control (not perfect but she can hold her head up for a decent time and it doesn't loll about) so I'm not really worried about that, but I worry about using things like swings incase she starts to depend on them.

I totally feel you, I pretty much wore DS in a sling 24/7 untill he was about 14 weeks- he wouldn’t even sit in a bouncer for 5 mins without screaming the house down. I remember when my friend came round when DS was 6 weeks, she made dinner and as I set up my one handed eating station while holding a sleeping DS in the other she was like, ‘are you not going to put him down no???’ It was just not worth it and I learned to do everything one handed or with the sling. He had a lot of crumbs dropped on his dead during the day when napping. Have you got a sling? With the white noise it needs to be loud and continuous. We still use white noise for all of his sleeps, including all night long. Same track on Spotify playing on max volume on an iPad right by his cot.

Yeah gaviscon wasn’t suitable with us either- he’s never taken a bottle and it was impossible to give otherwise I found. He always just spat it out even mixed with breastmilk. Push for the ranitidine, it’s much easier to give. If she has reflux and isn’t getting much meds in the form of the gaviscon she may be more settled on the ranitidine. There is also omeprozle to try, but with reflux it can be trial and error finding what works for your baby.

I really wouldn’t worry about getting her dependant on anything or making any ‘rods for for your own back’. She’s still so little and will change to much that I’d just do what you need to to get her to sleep.

I’m really sorry that you have a condition and your partner works full time, but someone should have warned you that frequent waking is totally normal when you have a baby. It can last up to and beyond a year. There are things you can try:

Swaddle and dummy
Embrace cosleeping

Both will maximise sleep for you and baby.

@FortheloveofJames - I have a stretchy sling and a baby bjorn ergonomic sling. She tends to fuss and kick her legs until she can get purchase on something and try and push herself out. She used to like the stretchy sling but now she doesn't seem to like being constricted. I'm hoping it passes quickly for us so we can get in to some sort of routine. I am trying bath, boob, bed but annoyingly the bath tends to wake her up rather than settle her! She's a pickle 😂

@crazycatlady5 - I have absolutely no problem with frequent waking. She is sleeping, just nowhere that means I can get any sleep alongside her. Co-sleeping is great, but she won't sleep anywhere but ON a person, which just isn't safe. She won't take a dummy or a bottle, she prefers breast (which i am more than happy to give) and as I said above she doesn't like to be swaddled and she overheats easily. I'm not really sure you read my post if I'm entirely honest, but thank you for your response.

Sod gaviscon. Omeprazole or ranitidine is what you need

@paradyning - They always start you out with Gaviscon, at least down here. It's a lot cheaper than the alternatives! I'll be asking for something else on Tuesday