night weaning without crying - any tips?

[mabbit]

Will consider anything. No more cc though. Tried it, didn't work, never going back there. Soooo tired.

how old is your LO? are you breastfeeding?

She's 1. And breastfeeding? Yep, just a bit...

have you tried doing short feeds and then shushing and rocking her back to sleep?
say feed for 5 mins then try and settle her, either by holding her, or by leaving her in the cot but staying with her to soothe her?
you can gradually reduce the length of feeds until she eventually gives up.
or try getting your dh/dp (if you have one) to go in with a bottle of water instead?

Thanks for getting back.

To be honest we are all still a bit raw from the controlled crying which didn't work. Can't get my daughter near her cot, just open her bedroom door and she starts whimpering She's in with me at the mo and dp is in the spare room

I have tried to cut the feeds short but she clamps her teeth.

She sounds just like my son was six months ago, and it's hard being so tired. You're doing really well.

When mine was 15 months old, I moved into the spare room for four nights, leaving him to wake up next to his Dad instead of me. There was a bit of crying, but never more than ten minutes, and I knew that he was being cuddled and comforted. Once he'd realised it wasn't worth waking up, he slept through the night (hallelujah!) and I moved back into the bed.

We found it a gentle solution. All the best!

hi mabbit. we are starting to get somewhere with the night`weaning so im hoping this might help you too. she has slept thro twice in 4 days which is unbelievable as we hav had a nightmare month. we never left her to cry but we hav had a lot of crying. she dropped one feed almost immediately. and after two nights of not feeding she cried a lot less. she was grumbling for 45 mins night b4 last but not crying the whole time. Then slept thro lastnight. i think u need to be convinced that you are doing it for your baby - not for yourself. It must be even harder when your little one is a year old tho. its so heartbreaking, good luck. x

If you can bear to live with the sleep deprivation a bit longer, I'd say don't try and change things for a week or so til she (and you) have got over the trauma of cc. It sounds like you need to recover as much as her - you won't be giving off calm, safe vibes while you try and cut down feeds or whatever while you're still feeling shaky because of the failed cc. And if you're feeling awful she may well pick it up and object even to these gentle techniques. So I'd say wait til you're feeling less bad yourself and until she seems to be getting over it. I'm sure she will get over it and you can gradually reintroduce her to her room, then her cot, then start doing the reducing feeding things other people have suggested. (Mind you, I'm very anti cc so you might want to take me with a pinch of salt)

Thanks for the thoughts everyone . I think I am going to have to leave it until we've both got over the cc, Loveage. She is still so clingy and fretful at bedtime and still won't have her room or cot. I wish I'd not tried the cc in the first place, I didn't want to, but sooo much pressure from hv and dp

Chocolatte, how did you stop bf at night? Was your lo waking alot for feeds?

dd and i are both starting to sleep better together, getting used to it, but i'm worried about how long dp in the spare room. Don't know if the bed is big enough for all of us!

Hi, yes I think Lovage has given some really good advice there.

I tried to not feed her a few times and gave in which I think is cruel but I was so tired and not really determined enough at the time. She doesnt get fed to sleep in the day - we sorted that out at 4 months and she settles to sleep really well so I knew she could do it. The prob was me - I just didnt have the patience at night and I always fed her whenever she woke at night. she did her usual 12, 3.30 and when she woke at 5am I decided to not feed her and she screamed her little head off for an hour, then I cried over the cot with her for another 30mins (not helpful!) Then she stumped us by a surprise allnighter so that gave me the determination and energy to go cold turkey. DP was sent in and did shh/pat only picking her up when it got really bad. We made up our minds she wasnt getting bf and we had a formula bottle ready as backup. Hope that helps?

I don't think there is really a quick fix way of stopping night feeds without enduring some tears imho. If there was, I would write a book about it and become a millionairess!. lo is used to cuddles and food during the night and is bound to object loudly and persistently to any change. But.....whatever you do decide to do, gradual withdrawal, pu/pd/NCSS techniques, it will get better. Fwiw, I dont actually think there is any way to avoid some crying. It is their only way of communication after all. hth

HI! I have a 15 month old boy who is breastfed day and night. We have never slept through the night. He does not like to eat solids very well. I am trying to wean him because the night breastfeeding has damaged his teeth. My man can not help me with this because our child gets hysterical with him and also with me too but a little less. I have tried some tips to wean but those wont help. He cries nonstop and I am so tired I am not able to stay up all night. He refuses water when I offer it instead of milk.