Half hourly wake ups for six months - desperate now!

[Rockandrollwithit]

DS2 is six months old and such a terrible sleeper. From birth, he has woken up every half hour to an hour. He never had a period of sleeping well then a regression, it's just been terrible sleep all the time.

At first we co slept but now that he can crawl and move, he doesn't like that anymore. So he's in his cot in his room but wakes crying hysterically every 30 mins. We tried bringing the cot into our room but he hated that too. On a good day, he might stretch to an hour. He's not hungry and doesn't have wind. He has reflux but is already on the max dose of ranitidine and omeprazole, so there's nothing else I can do for that.

He wants to be rocked to sleep standing up every 30 mins and me and DH just can't do it anymore. Not only are we beyond exhausted but he weighs 23 pounds and it's too much to do that every half hour.

I feel like I'm a rubbish mum to him because I can't get him to sleep. I'm constantly shattered so I'm grumpy with his three year old brother in the day. The baby doesn't sleep independently in the day either so I'm constantly telling DS1 to wait, be quiet, I can't play with you right now and I'm so fed up of it. I feel like I'm not being a good mum to either of them.

He's crying in his cot right now and I can't face going in there, this is his 10th wake up tonight. I don't want to use CIO but can't see any other option?

I had PND after having him and have been doing really well but this is making it worse again. I can't enjoy him as my whole day is worrying about sleep - will I be able to get him to sleep? How long will it take? As soon as it gets to around 5pm I start to dread the night time.

Ultimately you will have to do that though, hopefully without the crying. Is it full on crying or that upset and then you pick up?

I know we will have to.

It's an angry cry. It's not an in pain cry or a hungry cry, it's completely a 'I don't like what you are doing' cry.

You could try baby yoga as part of the bedtime routine..it really relaxed my son .... 100% hes not hungry????.. My daughter with reflux feeds very sporadically she used to go 4 hours then 3 and now its 2.5 hours between feeds.. She's on anti reflux milk, not sure if your little one is on that but I feel that makes her tiny hurt sometimes..... How about teething?

Ah well - ear plugs to help you cope with going through with it?

You have huge sympathy from me. It sounds like you have tried loads, but I am wondering how consistent that has been. If it were me I would pick a sleep routine that I can live with and stick to it. It sounds like your baby isn't reaching REM sleep and isn't get past first sleep cycle ( I am not an expert so may be wrong). Have you truer just sitting next to cot with your hand on baby's chest so that they can feel your prsence? I tended to make a 'shush' noise when my vary stirred and it worked. My husband said I would do this in my sleep! I hope you both get some respite soon xx

Our ds was a rock to sleep kind of baby but I had to stop at 3.5 months due to very painful knees!
We weaned him off, first by making the rocking motion slower (he fussed and cried more at first but we held him and comforted him the whole time), then no rocking, then moved on to just sitting propped up in bed holding him. He did cry and at first it could take 30minutes for him to fall asleep, but this time got less and less as he got used to it, and we held him the whole time so he was never left alone to cry. It probably took a 3 weeks over all to get to a point where he would fall asleep with no motion. After that we worked on putting him down sooner after he'd fallen asleep instead of him napping on us. Eventually we did drowsy but awake but it was a long road getting there and there are still times I just think 'fuck it' and let him nap on me. But now at almost 6 months we can put him down awake and he falls asleep (still with fussing!!) after 5-10 minutes. But he can settle himself at night with no more rocking (he's a finger sucker which definitely helps!)

So maybe make really small changes at a time, changing one sleep cue for another and it may take a month or two but maybe there will be improvement? Just thought I'd share but obviously you know your baby best

OP this sounds really tough and I really feel for you. Lack of sleep just makes everything so much harder.

Have you looked into cranial osteopathy for your baby? It can be particularly helpful if you had a stressful delivery, or forceps etc were used. We found this helped with our son when he was tiny and have a few friends who have done it.

Just thought I'd mention it as it can help with things like colic and feeding etc and therefore sleep.

I would maybe stop rocking and just hold and pat. He will probably cry a lot at first while he gets used to no movement. Once he can fall asleep being patted in your arms, move to patting in the cot, and then gradually reduce the patting.

You poor thing, this sounds so hard.

We were rocking our little girl to sleep and exhausted for the same reasons as you we didn't want to try controlled crying. We spoke to a sleep consultant who recommended a programme which was very simple but worked.

For a week we stopped rocking and held her til she went to sleep. Then after that we put her in the cot and I think I ended up patting and shushing her to sleep. I stayed with her til she was asleep. It was hard because she was very upset, but she wasn't alone. I gradually decreased the patting. I did this for night wakings (apart from feeds). It took a good couple of weeks to take proper effect but it was worth it. Good luck!

I had this for my DS. Lasted the whole of his first year then he just grew out of it. Been a fab sleeper ever since. I read No-Cry sleep solution which was helpful if only that I didn't feel quite so alone. The main thing that worked eventually was having a soft thing of mine (dressing gown). I religiously made him hold it at every sleep time and he was finally able to get by without me as long as he had his snuggle. Still has it now at 7 yo!

I would second other comments about consistency. I micro-managed, kept diaries etc. Better probably if I had not done that and just focussed on developing a routine and sticking with it, not expecting results too soon.

Many sympathies to you. This was the worst time of my life (but in some ways so good of course).

your hand on baby's chest so that they can feel your prsence?
This comment just reminded me of a tip I've seen recently which is to fill a glove with rice and lay that on your baby so they get the sensation of a weighted hand. I never tried this as I've only seen it recently but I think it would have worked on at least one of mine.

@koala
I did think of cranial oestopathy but it was a planned c section delivery so not at all traumatic / he wasn't squashed. He was in NICU for almost a month and I do wonder about the effects of that. Even in NICU he was the only baby who didn't settle for the nurses at night 🙄.

I think I have had a problem with consistency. It's just so hard when you are far beyond exhausted. When it's 3am and you are up for the tenth time it's difficult to stick to a sleep technique when you know rocking him will have you back in bed so much sooner.

@Tid1
Honestly I feel like my presence stresses him out if I'm not holiding him. He cried more when I sat next to him with my hand on him and shushing than when I stood just outside the door.

Anyway, he's now been asleep for almost two hours! This is a completely unheard of occurrence for us. I think the white noise is helping. Fingers crossed the night brings slightly fewer wake ups tonight..

C-section babies often benefit from cranial osteopathy because their heads going through the birthing canal does something important! Common misconception that c-sections don't cause issues. It's worth a try!

Yes I have heard that too Random
Whatever you decide I hope you manage to get some help and some sleep. Poor sleep is one thing, but if its every half hour I know I would be on my knees!
White noise helped with my son too, as did baby massage in the daytime.
I hope you find some solutions for you all!

“I'm absolutely positive there are no allergies etc as he has been tested for this and we also know that the reflux is controlled by medication as he had a scope recently.”

Just to point out that only Ige allergies show up in testing. It’s possible that he has non-ige allergies which you could only diagnose by elimination and then reintroduction. It doesn’t sound like it based on what you’ve said but just thought I’d mention it in case you’re not already aware.

My DS was a terrible sleeper with reflux too. We had to get the reflux under control first and it was only when I was confident that he wasn’t in pain/discomfort that I got stricter with his sleep. As you said I could tell it was an angry cry rather than pain or distress. It is awful at first but in our case it worked very quickly once we decided to be consistent.