Stopping child playing in the night

[Nkhutch]

My daughter has started to play from bedtime to 10:30/11ish and sometimes in the middle of the night. It's making her ratty and tired the next day. Any tips to stop her? She is 7.

Is it possible to lock away her toys?

@Namechangemum100 we removed all her toys out of her room at one point she was still awake for hours 😡

could you take the bulb out of her light?

During the early evening I would hang around upstairs and keep returning her to bed, don't allow her out of bed.

@starpatch she plays in the dark! How I don't no but she manages it! She puts her toys around / under her bed before it gets fully dark I think

@FATEdestiny thanks I might try this! We have a camera for babies room but while baby is with us I might put it in her room so I'm on the ball with it.

Sounds like she needs help to getting her to wind down and go to sleep. So relaxing evening, warm drink, lavender spray her pillows, story and an audiobook playing when in bed.

What's her afternoon routine like from 3:30pm onward?
I'm wondering if she has enough 'down' time after school.
Is she doing a lot of extracurricular activities preventing her from just hanging out at home, playing with her toys?

@TheVanguardSix definitely not she has one after school club which runs once a week til 4:15 . We eat about 5-5:30 before this she reads her book from school or homework or sits and colours. Has a bath around 6-6:30 depending upon what time tea is ( she plays in her room while her bath is running ) she then goes to bed at 7 which I know is early but we were finding no matter what time she goes to bed she still stays up. On a weekend she used to stay up til 8:30 but found her awake once at midnight so it was pushed back to 7 every night on the hope she would wither tire herself out or get the deal that if she goes straight to sleep no more early bedtimes

I've literally been up and despite a stern talking to she's still done it! I'm beyond annoyed with her

I would start punishing, after a warning take away a certain toy/iPad/tv time/etc. She’s old enough to understand not to get out her bed or play with toys.

Put her to bed later with no toys at all. 7pm is incredibly early to put her in her room if she can’t fall asleep for 4 hours.

@Ditzyitzy I know it is she used to go to bed later but reguardless of the time were putting her to bed she's staying up. It's almost like she's got into a routine or is proving s point that no matter what she's going to play. She has had some late nights and been very tired before but has still played once she's gotten up there

Would an audio book or guided relaxation track help? It may be that she finds lying in the dark boring but obviously getting up to play is keeping her awake. Having something to listen to might help her stay in bed instead.

I don’t think you can force a child to sleep and punishing will get you nowhere

What happens if you sit with her until she sleeps?

@UnaOfStormhold I have actually just read about this so might look into a story cd or lullaby cd to see if that helps x

@Believeitornot I've never punished her other than taking her toys out of her room to stop her playing. If she sat and read it wouldn't be so bad but she would rather play. I've never sat with her, never needed to she was always a good sleeper but I found recently that when she stays at my mums my mum will sleep next to her and isn't consistent when she sends her to bed; for example it partner had to nip around at around half nine one night and she got up went downstairs and started to play with her toys in the living room in front of my mum and she didn't say anything my partner ended up telling her to go back up to bed so I don't no if the inconsistency there and possibly with her dad isn't helping.

I didn’t say you had punished her - that was in response to other posts @Nkhutch

She knows the rules in your house but your update makes me wonder if she is doing it for attention.

@Believeitornot we think so too. I am expecting but this started before that her dad hasn't always been consistent with contact but has improved so we literally are grabbing at straws to find out the reason. She said she doesn't no. Her behaviour is very testing at the minute too but I'm putting that down to poor sleep at the minute. We have even tried praising her for being good/ staying I bed by providing immediate / longer treats I.e treat her to sweets/ cinema or a day out on a Saturday to where she wants to go. We plan something for most Saturdays in the hope it encourages her but when she's warned she will loose it if she carries on she's not bothered.

You can't make a child sleep, but you can stop her getting out of bed/mucking around.

I suggest a reward chart, or maybe a jar of buttons/pebbles where she can gain them if she stays in bed and looses them if she gets up or mucks around. If she has over a certain number at the end of the week, she can get a treat.

Set out the rules clearly. No getting out of bed, no playing with any toys (even if they are in bed). Perhaps allow her to read if you think that might work.

I also think that routine is key. Same thing every night at the same time - even weekends and holidays.

Thankyou @Seeline that sounds like a good idea I spoke with dp last night about making a more strict routine at bedtime so everything is set from coming home from school. But a reward chart sounds good too. The sleeping I'm not overly bothered about at the minute because I know if I can stop her playing it will eventually lead her to falling asleep properly. We have moved babies camera into her room so I know when she is playing as she swears blind she isn't and sticks to her guns! So now we know

I would remove all toys from her room, one teddy (eg) in bed, that is all.

She needs help to relax, not punishment

@Seeline done that a few times it doesn't work whatsoever! Have come up with a new bedtime routine for tonight, more structured to wear her out and calm her down toward bedtime. Also moved her bedtime fingers crossed in a couple of weeks we might see a difference 🤞🏻

I would stop the punishments and rewards for her behaviour - promising something then taking away seems mean if she’s doing it out of tiredness.

If she needs attention then give it to her. Is her father not around? What’s the exact back story?