Sleep deprived-help please!

[4mogirl]

Hello, I would love some advice please. Sorry it’s a long post.

My little girl is 16 weeks.
Since about 12 weeks, she had become harder and harder to settle at nights, and now its nap times as well.
She is breast fed mostly with one bottle at night.

We follow the same routine each time, but she fights going to sleep and hen ends up over tired and it’s just a nightmare.

Nap routine-
Wake at 8am
Play and then upstairs for feed/nappy change and quiet time and try to put her down by 9:30 ( I know this is only 1:5 hours but she is really tired, rubbing eyes/yawning by then)
9-10:30 nap
10:30-12 play
12:00-12:30 quiet feed
12:30-2:30 nap
2:30-4:00 play and quiet feed
4-5 nap
5-6:30 play with Dad
6:30 bath and bedtime bottle feed from Dad and sometimes he can feed her to sleep and settle in bed, sometimes not.

Recently it’s been a Dream feed at 11, and then hourly until 8am and we repeat the day again.

I am currently feeding to sleep, as thats the only thing that worked when she was newborn, so we’ve stuck with it, and I co-sleep with a next to me crib also.

From 4-12 weeks she went to sleep at 8, dream feeds at 11, 2:30 and 5.

Then at 12 weeks, she needed a dream feed every hour from 11 through until 8.
I think this change coincided with her getting her jabs maybe?
Or was it a growth spurt/ developmental leap?

Last two nights, she woke up and wanted to play whereas usually a dream feed sent her back to sleep again.

Anyway, my questions are: how do I get her back to only waking a couple times a night?
And how do I settle her when she is refusing to sleep?

Please don’t suggest I let her cry- it kills me to leave her crying even for 1 min whilst I pop to the toilet!

Help please! 😩

Anyway, my questions are: how do I get her back to only waking a couple times a night? And how do I settle her when she is refusing to sleep?

Look up the 4 month sleep regression and download the wonderweeks app. What you have described above is really common during the regression and a leap. It’s so hard but ride it out and it will get better until the next leap or regression.

I would reduce your daytime awake time to an absolute maximum if 90 minutes. I'd suggest starting the settling to sleep process 60 minutes after last waking up.

Where is she having these naps? If you are feeding to sleep then transferring an already asleep baby is never going to work long term. Feeding to sleep means cosleeping and feeding lying down. That way baby can stay in the place she falls asleep.

If you're after independant sleep (so not cosleeping) then you need to fund a different way to get baby to sleep so she can go to sleep where she stays asleep.

My suggestion would be to introduce a dummy for comfort sucking and use a bouncy chair for daytime naps. Put well fed, winded baby into bouncer 1h after waking with a lean nappy. Position bouncer (removing any toys) at your feet in front of the sofa. Sit with TV remote and use your foot to bounce non stop and rhythmically for the following hour or so, reinsert ingredients dummy as needed.

Thank you for your suggestions, I do have Wonder weeks app, and she is currently in a leap, so you think that’s the cause of this?

And I have tried putting her down earlier and then she fights as she is undertired, so now I keep her up 90 mins and feed lying down in bed upstairs for 30 mins so she is awake for 2 hours in total. I can then roll off the bed and slide her over into her next to me crib. I have tried a Moses basket downstairs but she didn’t like it.
I like the suggestion of the journey chair, I will try that, thank you.

Bouncy, Not journey