4 month old constantly waking for dummy

[CherryBlossom100]

My daughter has just turned 4 months old and sleeps 12 hours at night in her cot. She has just dropped her last night feed. All sounds great and she also self settles to sleep within minutes of being put in her cot every night.
The problem I have is that she wakes every hour or so when her dummy falls out. I’m a single parent and am finding the disrupted sleep difficult but am more worried about her quality of sleep. I’ve tried not giving the dummy both during day naps and night but she just ends up crying as she can’t fall asleep even with me rocking/soothing her.

Has anyone been through this? I know in a few months she’ll be able to put it back in. Do I wait for this?

Daytime naps happen in my arms with dummy and rocking and she only ever sleeps one sleep cycle so isn’t linking them. I don’t know if this is causing the issues at night too.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I have no advice my dd is 13 months and still can wake every hour for her dummy. I have found that going up a size sometimes helps. I'm jest waiting for the day she can give them to the dummy fairy.

I did, it's the hardest stage. Keep persevering & soon she'll be able to find her own dummy at night. I thought I was going to DIE of exhaustion but it soon passes...

I went through the exact same thing with my baby at around 5 months went on for nearly a month! Waking every hour or so when dummy fell out...exhausting for both of us! I found a comforter called a 'sleepy tot' on amazon. You attached dummies to it's 'paws' either through the dummy ring or you can buy attachments. It took my LO a few nights to work out that her dummies were attached to the ends but she now puts it back in herself when it falls out

I used to sew a ribbon with a press stud at the did onto the chest of the baby fleeting bags. Then have the cot next to me bed with the side down.

• made locating the dummy so easy I did not even need to open my eyes
• the side down on the cot meant I didn't need to move from under the duvet.
• I nearly noticed of registered the wake through this dummy drop phase.

Then once old enough to learn to put own dummy in (around 7-8 months), baby had a simple method to find the dummy to put in them self - arm swipe under chin found ribbon, which found dummy. Again, all done without properly waking up.

When my twins started doing this, I ditched the dummies. They were a similar age. It was painful for a few nights, only 3 or 4, but not much more painful than getting up every hour anyway.

I replaced the dummy with little animal comforters with those tiny blankets attached, so they had something to snuggle into that was easy to find. Then I just gently patted their bums and shushed then until they fell back asleep.

Might not work for everyone but did for us.

You say she sleeps 12 hours but wakes every hour? So basically she wakes every hour and doesn't sleep through? To be honest, that's not abnormal for a 4 month old, dummy or no dummy. If you take the dummy away she could be worse (as you say she is but seem to think it's the dummy's fault rather than your daughter being a bad sleeper).

I always use a sleepytot as a PP recommended but I think you need to accept that your daughter might just not be a great sleeper at 4 months. Lots of babies go in and out of sleep every hour or so at that age, nothing to do with dummies.

Thanks for all you the replies. Is the sleepytot or piece of ribbon safe? As the safe sleeping guidelines are nothing but baby and sleeping bag? Obviously I have a dummy in there too so that isn’t mentioned in the guidelines but is considered safe. Not trying to be goads just confused first time mum.

Zombie, I’m more than happy if the poor sleep is just her age but wouldn’t like to think it’s because of something I’d caused. I thought babies should sleep longer periods unless waking for milk/teething so happy to be corrected. She cries specifically for the dummy and goes straight back to sleep once I put it back in. She’ll also sleep for longer if the dummy hasn’t fallen out. I just think she doesn’t know how to self settle without the dummy.
Plonky, I feared that would be the way to wean off the dummy but not sure I’d be strong enough to do that and I’ve been told by family that I’ll want the dummy when teething gets bad.

Cherry sounds like the 4 month sleep regression I’m afraid. DS slept through for 2 or 3 nights around 3 months before it hit and we haven’t had more than 6 hours straight since - he’s now 18 months. He sucks his thumb which he can’t loose so that isn’t the issue. Most babies do get through it rather quicker than DS!

Babies don’t sleep through the night at that age. They’re not meant to - some might, obviously, but the norm is waking a LOT. So don’t worry it’s anything you’ve done.

That said, I remember very well wondering if gaffer taping the dummy on to my son’s face would REALLY be a Social Services-worthy crime. It is beyond frustrating. Exhausting. Ugh. If she wasn’t waking for the dummy, she’d almost certainly wake anyway, so I wouldn’t try weaning her. Coping strategies. Find coping strategies. I always had a stash of dummies close to me so I didn’t have to wake up properly and find his. Just pop a fresh one in and deal with the hunt in the morning.

Is the sleepytot or piece of ribbon safe?

Neither adhere to Lullaby Trust Safe Sleeping ideals. Neither does her napping in your arms, safest place for baby to sleep is on a flat, separate cot/crib matreess.

I should add that consistent dummy use is a recommended preventative measure for SIDS, while we are talking about Lullaby Trust.

Safe Sleeping is all about managing risk, not eliminating risk. You will take risks, as do all parents, with a risk-verses-need balance whereby you decide if the rusk us worth it. For example your baby (I assume) sleeps better in your arms during the day. So you chose not to let baby sleep in the safest environment because you know baby needs to actually sleep. This is risk verses need. Dealing with dummy drops in the night is the same.

I hve a four month old who wakes every hour.. due to wind, for a feed, for a cuddle etc.
It’s normal?

Thanks drwhy and cauliflower. I guess I just need to ignore all of the mums at baby group telling me that their 4 month olds are sleeping through and accept what my baby can do.
Cauliflower, the thought had wickedly crossed my mind. I found myself eyeing up the parcel tape.

I had this problem with my baby, everyone woud also rock her to sleep which I soon put a stop to as it made it difficult for myself and my baby. I replaced the dummy with one of my scarves which I wore all day, hoping it would have my ‘mummy smell’ and place it sadly next to her. She did cry for a few night but with some patience and persitance it paid off. Wasn’t easy but hang In there !!!

Placed it safely next to her. Typo

I ditched the dummy around then due to constant wakenings caused by it coming out. A day or two of tetchiness and we never looked back!

I use a dummy clip from nibbling. Really good but not long enough that they could do any damage. I swear by it!!

sarahockwell-smith.com/2016/10/20/why-your-baby-will-never-sleep-through-the-night/

On the myth of sleeping through...

I think parcel tape would leave marks. Maybe masking tape...?! ;-)

Oh yes! I had a dummy clip too! I’d forgotten that.

I used to put 6 or 7 dummies in the cot so she could find one. Worked

My DD is 4 and a half months old and has slept through (7-7) of her own accord since around 9 weeks.

Recently she started waking every few hours at night for her dummy, however she's not really waking. Just crying in her sleep. She never actually wakes up, although I don't leave her to cry long enough to see if she would settle back down without it. So she's not not sleeping through, just having disturbed sleep I would say. It sounds as though you're experiencing something similar?

Popping it back in means she goes straight back to normal and I go back to sleep. She sleeps in a side sleeper crib so I do it pretty much asleep myself.

I mentioned it to my health visitor who said it's entirely normal for this stage and that she will likely return to her normal-for-her sleeping soon.

Thanks cauliflower, that’s really helpful. As I said in my original post I was most worried that not sleeping longer than an hour would be bad for her and affect her development. She has a brain abnormality that doctors are unsure of long term development and I’ve put lots of pressure on myself to do everything perfectly to give her the best chance in life so it’s helpful to know that it’s not something I need to fix and pretty common. I can cope with the disrupted sleep.

Fate, I hadn’t even thought that I wasn’t following safe sleep guidelines by letting her sleep in my arms during the day. I know it’s not considered safe when the parent is in danger of falling asleep but I’m wide awake during the day, usually watching tv or on mumsnet. Is there any other reason it’s considered unsafe? Cradled position compromising airway maybe? Just so that I know what I’m risking.

Dummy clip may work in a few months but at the moment she still wouldn’t be able to replace it, though she’s brilliant at using her hands to take it out.
Thank you for all of the brilliant advice and support.

Lots of dummies in the cot so she's got a goof chance of finding one. Plus a night light so she's got a little bit of light to see it - the night light solved the problem for us.

Get yourself a sling for the day. A good one will hold her in a position that’s all good for breathing and hips and you’re all good. It’s normal for babies to want to sleep close to mum. All mammals stay close. Your instincts are sound.

That’s the best advice really. Your instincts are sound. Don’t listen to what other babies do or don’t do. Your instincts are sound. If you are happy and your baby is happy - that’s half the battle won.

I hadn’t even thought that I wasn’t following safe sleep guidelines

"The safest place for your baby to sleep is a separate cot or Moses basket in the same room as you for the first 6 months, even during the day"

(This is a direct quote from Trust and is extensively evidence based)

I was trying you make you see that risk is a constantly evolving evaluation we (as parents) have to judge. It is not an absolute elimination of all risk at all times.

The undisputed fact is that the very safest possible place for your baby to sleep is in a cot or Moses basket, for all sleeps all of the time. Ergo sleeping in your arms, by definition, is not the safest possible place for baby to sleep. So it carries a risk.

SIDS prevention is not about eliminating all risk. That is impossible. It is about minimising risk in an informed and researched way. Many parents make decisions that they know are not "safest", and in some cases are actively increase risk, but evaluate the risk on balance against other factors and so make an informed decision on risk management.

Relating it back to the use of dummy clips, dummy holder toys and ribbons - these are risks just like baby sleeping in your arms. In that clear cot is the recognised safest option. But like sleeping in your arms is not "safest" but it's a decision you make for the overall benefit of your baby, so these dummy saver tools are decisions other parents make for the overall benefit of their child, even though they are not safest.

Risk management is a very personal thing.

My links didn't work:

Lullaby Trust

A Clear Cot