5mo only naps on me! Help!!

[GimbleInTheWabe]

DS is 5mo and will only feed to sleep. I don't mind so much at night as he'll feed, drop off and I can put him in the cot and if he does wake up he'll self settle 80% of the time.
In the day however it's a totally different story. If I feed him to sleep and try and put him in the cot he'll ping awake and no matter how many times I try he'll always wake up. He'd sleep in my arms/the pram though without a problem. However I can't get anything done when he sleeps in my arms and as I WFH it's getting more and more difficult to get any work done.
Has anyone successfully managed to get their baby to nap in their cot in the day? I'd would love some advice as when DP goes back to work full time I just don't think I'll get anything done!
Thanks in advance!

Have you really tried to put him in the cot sleepy but awake? I mean really persisted repeatedly? Cos I would have said exactly the same as you, and then after a bit of pressure from OH to just try putting her down during the day instead of cuddly naps, it actually works. She sends herself off to sleep, most of the time, not every time. And the naps are short, that’s my issue. But if I persist presumably these will lengthen. For at least one nap a day now I put her in her normal night time bed, curtains closed, and then walk out and leave her, with monitor on. So proud of her when she stops grunting etc and I realise she is asleep
(Half an hour later she is awake again!!)
My point is, I wasn’t giving her the opportunities to not nap on me.
Tbh she is making it quite clear she doesn’t want to nap on me anymore :-( she wriggles around like she’s trying to get to something more comfy

My DD napped on me for the first 10 months. I tried everything (putting down asleep, pushchair, putting down sleepy but awake, putting down awake) and in the end begrudgingly accepted my fate. I watched alot of tv during those months.

My point is, sometimes whatever you try just doesn't work- its not you, it's just babies. After mine started at the childminders she started to settle more often in the pushchair, then she hit 1, dropped all but one nap and that was a luxurious 1hr 30 mins in the pushchair in the dining room after lunch.

It often feels like it won't ever change but it does - normally just as you've reached the end of your tether.

Have you tried a sling? Not a perfect solution but might help you to get some work done while she sleeps?

I have tried putting him in drowsy @123456kent but he just gets upset and I can't leave him crying. He also will roll on to his belly and get frustrated. I might try getting him reaaallly tired, like waiting for his usual nap time and stretching it out by 20 or something and then put him in. I always make sure the environment is the same as night time, new nappy, sleep suit, blind down etc. He did actually nap on my bed today (I fed him side by side and then rolled away) but I just don't think this is a safe option. And again, he fell asleep feeding so no different anyway. What's your nap routine?

You're right about it changing when you're at the end of your tether @Madamswearsalot. I was so sleep deprived at one point I was crying whilst feeding him and that night he slept through! Hasn't done that much since mind you haha but good to know it can happen! I don't mind the sleepy cuddles, in fact I love them, but it's just not viable if I ever want to wash/clean/eat. Especially since he's already crawling! We have a sling but he seems to only like it if we're outside walking, he somehow knows when I try it indoors!

If mine got upset, which she sometimes/often does I would definitely not leave her, I’d pick her up and accept that wasn’t going to be a successful independent nap. I feel like if I acheive one a day I’ll be pleased, the others can all be snuggled with me and that’s fine. (Although as I say, she seems to be enjoying them less than she was a week or two ago).
No routine really... not very good at that! I tell her she’s having a nap, dummy in, curtains shut... leg it out the room and watch the monitor with fingers crossed. It’s by no means 100% success rate but I still feel really pleased when it does work and she has a nap on her own while i get things done / do nothing

Some babies are just like this OP, both of mine were. DS2 is six months and will now sleep for 30 mins on his own before crying and needing a cuddle for the rest of his nap.

My advice is to accept it and go with it. Ignore any comments from well meaning family members along the white noise/ put down when awake lines.

DS1 was like this until he was 9 months and then he became the best sleeper ever.

Sounds like persistence and finding the right amount of sleepy/drowsy is paying off then @123456kent. I, too, shall persist in the fight for an arm free nap! It's funny you say about your DD going off the cuddle naps though as now in the evening when I feed DS before bed he'll fall asleep but he wriggling away like he's not comfy and wants his cot. Positive signs but also makes me feel a bit sad!

Thanks for your encouraging words about your DS1 @Rockandrollwithit. Like I say, I know I'll miss these cuddly naps when they're gone and he's already growing up so fast. Part of me wants to just soak it all up while I can and the other part thinks 'but the washing pile!!!' Babies are so very confusing! Out of curiosity- what's the age difference between your two DCs? DP and I were chatting about how long we want to wait before we try again. I've heard 2 under 2 is brutal (we def wouldn't be trying until next year anyway!)

Yep she is doing the same. And ours are exactly same age as I remember your name from the October 2017 boards! Try and see if putting him down drowsy, not crying, but awake and leaving the room works. If he’s crying then it’s gone too far, i wouldn’t even bother attempting at that point. We supposedly need to teach them these self settling skills, so I do feel proud of us when it works.
But I have no idea how to lengthen the cot naps. It’s frustrating they are so quick. On me they will stretch to over an hour, in there they are 30 mins

We had a tough time with the newborn stage with sleeping and reflux so waited a while before having DS2. There's three and a half years between them.

I had this and by the time he was 6 months I was going mad with not being able to do anything! He went down beautifully at night though. Health visitor suggested stop feeding him to sleep though, and to start a pre nap routine similar to bedtime, e.g. clean teeth, put him in sleeping bag. He eventually got the picture but it took a lot of crying from both of us and in hindsight I should may be have waited a couple of months. Hard though when you feel like you are watching the house accumulate dirt around you! X

I think my plan of action is to do a bit of what everyone has suggested (thank you again for all the shared experiences and feedback!).

I'm going to wait it out a bit and see how he goes with night time first, as he is improving there quite a lot. He'll feed, fall asleep on me and when I transfer him he'll settle back really well even if he wakes up (which would never of happened a few weeks ago!) and even though he's still waking at night to feed he is also self settling some of the times he wakes up too. So hopefully once this has improved he'll be able to transfer the skills to day time naps. I'm going to just enjoy them while I can and ignore the dust and pile of washing for now as that won't last forever, like my little warm cuddly baby who soon won't want to cuddle up to me for hours I'm sure.

Thanks again everyone, it's nice to know you haven't screwed it all up and to have messages of solidarity from people