Support with a 2 yr old who's stopped her good sleeping

[1196rachel]

I know it's fairly normal. I've read previous (old) threads. But I'm finding it really difficult that my 2y2m daughter has, over around 3 weeks, destroyed her previously good sleeping patterns.

It started with something like night terrors - screaming and kicking, inconsolable around 1am. Then progressed to waking upset at a similar time. Then waking not upset but unwilling to settle back. Next she added refusing to settle to sleep. Then not settling well in my arms. Now she will wake screaming if I try and put her into the cot when she'd previously seemed sound asleep.

I know I haven't done myself any favours letting her come into our bed in the night over these past few weeks - but I work full time and don't do well with a lack of sleep.

Last night she simply wouldn't settle in her own bedroom (in my arms or her cot) and when I gave up my husband (against my wishes) took her into our bed and let her settle there - with TV on to make matters worse - where she finally fell asleep around 10pm!

I will have to take off the cot sides this weekend since she also was almost climbing out last night for the first time.

It feels so tough. I can't take on any 'gradual retreat' type of sleep training because I'm so tired. She's becoming more and more tired which makes falling asleep worse, and it's now impacting her daytime naps too. She won't eat her tea because she's too tired and this is probably making her hungry in the night - which won't help.

I guess I'm just looking for a bit of "there, there, it gets better"...

I'm usually the first to jump to the 'stick to your routine, don't let her into your bed' advice, but I'm going through something similar myself with DS2 following a bout of illness and my opinions are slightly changing!

Did you sleep train or anything when she was younger? We have returned to our sleep training method from a year ago to get DS to settle in bed himself at the start of the night. I'd say that half the time this then results in a full nights sleep.

If he does wake up during the night then we do the drink, cuddle (in the cot) no lights on, sing a couple of lullabies, okay time for bed routine, Then leave him for 5-10 mins to see if that settles him. I'd say it mostly does.

BUT if not, then (and this is where my thinking has changed) I just accept he's not going to sleep without a bit of extra comfort and just bring him into our bed. I'm working FT, have a 3 year old and a life. We need our sleep (and so do our neighbours!!), and if he needs the cuddle then so be it. DH had taken to lying on a mattress beside DSs cot, but it was damaging his already not great back. We're lucky we have a spare room and one of us can go there if needs be.

I guess what I'm saying is don't beat yourself up. She's obviously going through a phase, and do what you can to help her stick to the good sleep hygiene while she's in it, but if it's not working, then give her what she appears to need. DSiL swears taking the sides off the cot helped DNeice sleep better at 20 months. I can't really comment as DS1 was in a cot til he was nearly 3 - I thought he wasn't ready for a bed until then and he's slept amazingly ever since. I plan on doing the same with DS2. However, if she's endangering herself then it's definitely something to consider, but remember, she's loose then and you'll need to secure stairs etc.

Thanks Liskee