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Sleep

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Original poster

Newborn will not go down

18 replies

clairerow7 · 15/03/2018 17:53

My little girl is 2 weeks tomorrow.
She is getting worse with sleeping. Will not go down, as soon as she is away from me she screams. She chews and sucks her hands even when she has been fed for 2 hours non stop!
I'm getting desperate now.
At what point did your little ones go down after a feed and sleep without you being there.
She is sleeping on my chest day and night and won't sleep any other way! I'm terrified that she is going to suffocate 😫.
My partner is due back at work Monday and I won't be able to do a thing without her crying!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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childmindingmumof3 · 15/03/2018 17:54

Will she sleep next to you in bed?

Namechangemum100 · 15/03/2018 17:56

Do you have a sling? This won't solve the problem in the evening but will make the days more manageable.

Unfortunately she does just sound like a normal newborn and it won't be like that forever, Google fourth trimester, it might help to understand what's going on in her brain at this age and to see that it's just a phase, it will pass!

Lots of hugs!

userabcname · 15/03/2018 18:03

Are you bf-ing? If so 2-3 weeks were horrendous for me - epic cluster feeds and basically attached to baby 24/7. It is important to keep feeding though as she will be establishing your supply. A good plan is to just go to bed and sleep for a while - your partner can bring you baby to feed but take away again to wind / change / rock etc while you rest. It does ease off and improve! Maybe try co-sleeping as it does help you get more rest.

Original poster

clairerow7 · 15/03/2018 18:36

Thank you everyone!!
She won't really settle with her dad either.
Don't get me wrong I love cuddles and I do treasure it but I'm so worried of hurting her when I fall asleep. She so t even settle next to me 😔

OP posts:

Blueberrycheesecake1 · 15/03/2018 18:40

Mine was like that. We used to wait until he was fast asleep (floppy hand test) and transfer him. Eventually it got easier to do it and now at 9 weeks he has been sleeping alone in cit for a while now. They need comfort and when they feel secure they become more independent (that's my view anyway!)

Original poster

clairerow7 · 15/03/2018 18:54

Will try everything!
I love her the world but we need her in a safer place than on my chest at night. I know she needs me but I'm terrified something will happen to her 😔

OP posts:

crazycatlady5 · 16/03/2018 08:44

Try to gently transition to her sleeping next to you rather than on your chest by following safe cosleeping guidelines x

Original poster

clairerow7 · 16/03/2018 10:06

She has gone in her poddle pod this morning!! Can't believe it 😱.
We're going to keep trying to put her down every time she sleeps and fingers crossed she gets used to it

OP posts:

Goldleaf76 · 17/03/2018 05:48

My little boy is 4 weeks and was the same for the first 3 weeks – I only slept an hour in the evenings when my husband took him after work before his next feed (I'm breastfeeding). He is now sleeping in his cot but I sometimes spend ages getting him to sleep, shushing, patting, taking him out for top ups, cuddles, endlessly watching the baby monitor. The main thing is he has not slept on me for over a week and I'm slowly getting my sanity back. Try to put her down every single time you think she is getting sleepy, watch the cues, try again and again and again. It takes time, patience and tears but anything is better than the fear of crushing him in my sleep. I know all about the forth trimester but in our case it is not about denying your baby comfort and security but not putting their life at risk. Good luck.

Goldleaf76 · 17/03/2018 05:57

Oh and the main thing is to make sure she is not still hungry when you try to put her down, they do feed a lot. Mine used to fall asleep on my breast but it did not mean he was full, he was ready for more in 5 minutes or whenever I woke him.

justanotheruser18 · 17/03/2018 06:11

I sat up through the night with my son in the rocking chair for the first 4 months. We went to the lounge and he slept on me and I watched Greys.

I feel for you. It feels impossible to be needed so much and to not be able to get the sleep you so desperately crave.

As others have said, try waiting for 'the moment' for the transfer but I can attest that at 7 months the transfer to his own bed doesn't work but the transfer into the centre of ours does.

Original poster

clairerow7 · 17/03/2018 06:31

We're now putting her down as soon as she is in deep sleep. We had a really good day yesterday so we're hoping it continues 😬

OP posts:

NeverTell9871 · 17/03/2018 06:34

My little one seemed better at being put down at around 3-4 weeks. She now sleeps in her crib and I can even put her down when she's awake (but drowsy) and she will drop off (10 weeks now).

I used to hate it when people said 'it all gets easier with time', on minimal sleep it really didn't help! But it is true.

Keep at it OP you're doing great!!

crazycatlady5 · 17/03/2018 08:55

It takes time, patience and tears but anything is better than the fear of crushing him in my sleep. I know all about the forth trimester but in our case it is not about denying your baby comfort and security but not putting their life at risk.

SAFE cosleeping doesn’t put a babies life at risk, so I hope no one else reads into this scaremongering.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 17/03/2018 12:58

Goldleaf Aside from the completely inaccurate information about cosleeping, you really shouldn't be watching a 4 week old on a monitor. Babies are supposed to be in the same room as you at all times for the first 6 months.

And no, there will be no tears with my DC so I don't agree that they're inevitable.

Op Newborns are supposed to be next to you, it's all they know. Of course keep trying to put her down if you want to but she will probably sleep much better if she's with you which is why a sling for daytimes and cosleeping at nighttime are normally successful suggestions.

Goldleaf76 · 17/03/2018 19:26

I'm not talking about co-sleeping but baby sleeping on you, on your chest which is dangerous if you fall asleep. I have not given any information about co-sleeping.

It's impossible to have the baby in the same room with you at all times, of course you can watch the baby on monitor when they are sleeping and you have to go to the kitchen etc. Why would I take a sleeping baby and put them in the sling instead of watching them on monitor. My kitchen and living room are both a couple of steps from where the baby sleeps. Op asked at what point our babies went down without us being there and I replied.

moonmaker · 17/03/2018 23:02

Slept on me night and day for 8 weeks
Then slept through in her own bed from 8 weeks . It just happened . This was my first child.

PrettyWisdomous · 17/03/2018 23:09

I'm still having this problem and DS is 9 weeks. He just won't sleep unless he's being cuddled - full stop. No sleep for anyone!

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