Tips for gentle self settling / stopping thrashing!

[DotCottonIsMyIdol]

DS is 14 weeks now and I'm still feeding or rocking him to sleep at night and for naps. He will happily drift off himself in the car or being walked in the pram (as long as we keep moving) but no chance at night or napping at home.

He was prescribed Ranitidine for silent reflux a month ago and his sleep intially improved loads, he was going for 4-5 hours then waking for a quick feed, then another 3hrs then a feed, then through till morning, about 11 hours in total and bliss for me. He was chilled in the day and napping well, 2hrs in the morning then another 2 or 3 shorter naps in the afternoon.

He's now only doing 3 hours for his first stretch at night then feeding, back down for 1 to 1.5hr stretches if I'm lucky after that, sometimes he just won't settle. He's thrashing his arms and legs madly (which wakes me immediately) in his sleep and will do this for 30mins or so before waking up distressed. He's always got his eyes closed whilst thrashing and looks like he's trying to stay asleep. I can gently hold his arms while patting and shushing, this will sometimes give him another hour but I have to keep doing it so I'm exhausted. I'm checking his dose for Ranitidine as he has put on weight incase it's the reflux again. His naps have gone to pot in the day too.

It seems to be that all the babies I know that sleep well or even through the night of a similar age can self settle themselves and are put down drowsy into their cribs, I'm assuming if they wake in the night they can drift off back to sleep again without help. I'm looking after DS singlehandedly and the last week or so has really started to get to me, I'm feeling pretty awful and down after having been so pleased his terrible new born sleep was improved so much with the reflux meds. I felt human again for a couple of weeks! HV advised putting him down into his next to me for naps and night sleep awake but drowsy so he learns to be independent but offered more advice than that!

I'd really like to try to help to master this but have no idea how, he's too little for CC and I don't think I could do it anyhow! Any tips would be greatly appreciated. I'm aware he is rather close the the fabled 4 month sleep regression.

Sorry that turned out so long!

This is all totally normal baby behaviour I’m afraid, he is 14 weeks old, barely out of the womb. Self settling is developmental and cannot be taught, babies learn this themselves. My 14 month old has only just started to sleep longer than a few hours at a time, it’s tough but totally normal. Does he have a dummy? They are worth their weight in gold

I can recommend a gentle sleep programme called little ones, but you have to pay for it. Has been worth every penny for me. It's a feeding/napping/settling guide and is age appropriate (so no crying methods before 6 months, she even those are on the gentle side)

I’d suggest dummy, as per PP, and also a swaddle. Maybe white noise too (we just use a Spotify track on repeat.)

Have a look at the baby whisperer and 5 s’s for soothing. Very helpful.

DD was like this for her first weeks, but the above absolutely saved us.

When he is tired put him down and put whitenoise on- theres different ones on youtube. Works for my baby, but needs to be already tired.

Thanks for all the replies, I'd intended to come back sooner but time has got away with me.

This are even more unsettled with DS now. It's taking me much longer to settle him to sleep, 2 hours last night, and he'll only manage 1.5 ish hours before waking. He intially starts thrashing and calling in his sleep and if left this increases until he wakes very upset. I can prolong the time before he wakes by shushing and patting but he always wakes. He's also taking much longer to settle back, anything up to an hour. He's not so cheerful in the day after a bad night and is coughing again too.

I've checked his Ranitidine dose and it has been increased slightly and I've been given a new bottle as apparently it goes out of date after a month but it is as if it's just stopped working.... does anyone know of this happens?

I've tried a couple of different dummies and DS hates them all, I've also tried white noise but I don't think it really helps, even on a continuous loop.

It really feels to me as if he's waking is discomfort and pain, not just usual sleep cycle waking or hunger. He's also started really biting down and pulling my nipples when he seems to be really uncomfortable.

I don't know what to say if I go back to the GP. is there anything better than Ranitidine to try? Could this be something else?

He's gaining weight, plenty of nappies and looks healthy so I'm sure they just think I'm being neurotic. It's horrible seeing him in pain every night when he's trying so hard to sleep and it's really upsetting me.

4month sleep regression probably

I know this thread is old but going through similar- OP can I ask when/if this improved with your baby, years ago?

If he's biting down on your nipple, could that be a sign the milk be coming quite fast for him? Sometimes they chomp down to try to slow it. If it's fast, they can end up gulping air and getting windy - which can make them uncomfortable and cause all that thrashing.

Just as an experiment, can you lean quite far back when feeding, so the baby's head is higher than your boob? The milk working against gravity can slow it down and might help. Do whatever hold you normally would but more reclined.

This might be a totally random suggestion that doesn't help at all, but just in case and no harm done if it doesn't help!