Advice from previous bed sharers

[blueberry71]

Just want a little advice from ladies who have bed shared with their babies. My baby is one next week and has been bed sharing with us pretty much since birth. It didn't start out as a choice. More of the fact she wouldn't settle in her co sleeper cot. Anyway she used to lie next to me (me in the middle) in her sleepyhead. However she rolls lots in her sleep so I don't think this is safe anymore. So I've moved her into the middle. This ends up with my husband having the duvet and me sleeping under a blanket. She also isn't settled now either. Which means I've had 2 nights with no sleep. This means I'm seriously considering moving her into her cot now. Can anyone who is bed sharing or bed shared let me how they did this with older babies? And if they stopped how they introduced baby into own room and cot? The only thing I can think of is buying a blow up mattress and sleeping next to her until she settles. Thanks

I tried and failed. We moved the mattress on the floor at 6 months when we started cosleeping and then at about 14 months she started to alternate which parent coslept as we could not all comfortably sleep in the bed. She is just before two and we have moved her into her own room in a proper bed (small double) with bed guards on each side.

We have a super king bed so space isn't too much of an issue for us. However because it's such a big bed, we can't really move the mattress onto the floor. How did you transition her into her new bed before 2? Did she settle ok?

I did well with a cot with one side removed pushed up next to the bed. But I did put the side back on by about that age as I couldn't leave DD unattended otherwise as she would roam around the upstairs.

How about a cot in your room, next to your bed but with the sides on to keep her safe?

I don't think a toddler in the middle of a double bed with two parents is very safe nor gives you a good night's sleep. They take to too much space

Our bedroom with our big bed isn't big enough to fit a cot in by the side. She is in her big sleepyhead when she sleeps in the middle and we don't sure a duvet. Plus I wake even at the slightest move with her so I don't think it's unsafe but I do now think it's seriously unsettling my sleep. Think her cot is the best option but trying to get her to sleep through the night in it is going to be a different story lol!

We moved dd into a single bed in her own room (which she could safely get in and out of herself with a foam thing under the covers to stop her accidentally rolling out in the night) at 13 months as she was no longer sleeping well in bed with us. It went really well at first, I had a video monitor so could go to her when she first started stirring get into bed with her and feed her back to sleep then escape by rolling away without disturbing her. She started waking only once or twice a night for a few months, which was bliss, but Christmas messed up her routine and she started waking 8-10 times a night, and I was barely in bed all night going back and forth to her. So she has been back in with us since then, with DP often sleeping in DDs room so one of us is functional in the morning, we have a super king bed, none of us are huge and there's still not enough space to sleep comfortably anymore. We haven't tried moving her back into her own room as we are moving house soon and I don't want us to end up back at square one more than necessary, and DP is going to take over nighttime's so I can wean her off the boob at night. I'm counting down the days until I can put her back in her own room and finally sleep! She's 18 months old now and I need her to sleep so I can run around with her in the day, the way we did it at 13 months was minimal tears

It's awful isn't it when have an unsettled sleep! That's what was putting me off putting my daughter in her own room because when I last tried it I got a week of no sleep. Thought I was going insane by the end! But now the sleep is equally as bad with her in bed with us so she needs to go into her own room. The bed thing sounds like such a good idea but I stupidly and prematurely bought an expensive cot. So my partner would not be happy forking out more money for a bed. However I could try a single mattress. That might be cheaper? Just need a nights sleep

We just have a king but DD very tall and likes to starfish in bed

We bought the new bed and exciting duvet cover and bigged it up. We spent time playing in there bedroom so she got used to it. We got a small double so we still lay next to her to go to sleep and we usually end up getting in with her durring the night but she has only been in a couple of weeks.

We are currently limiting her nap time and changing bedtime routine as she is awful at going to sleep. The next step is to start settling her back down to sleep after night time wake ups and then leave the room.

The first couple of nights were difficult for her going to sleep as everything was different. The first few days I stayed with her the whole time rather leaving her between her been asleep and my bedtime. I also did the first few bed times rather than alternating with DH.

She will need a bed eventually. I would seriously consider a small double so you can cosleep in her room if needed or just lay next to her while she goes to sleep.

Just try it! I’d definitely recommend getting a bed rather than a cot though. My DD slept with me till 18 months and then I put her straight into a single bed and she has slept through the night since. DS went into a single bed last month at 14 months and has been fine since. They both hated the cots.

Thanks! My mum has got a spare single mattress so I'm going to put that in her nursery for the time being. Going to try her in her cot tonight and when she unsettles (Which I know she will) I will go and sleep next to her. Then if that doesn't go well in her cot I will get some guards and put her to sleep on the mattress so I can get in with her if needs be. I guess it'll be trial and error. It's hard as my partner has a very tough love approach when it comes to this and I'm much more sensitive. Difference between men and women I guess!

Definitely try the mattress on the floor of her room.

My DS is 14mo and has been on a double mattress for almost 2 months now. Sometimes he sleeps through, sometimes I go in about 3/4/5. It's been brilliant!

With my DD, we put her straight into a single bed at 16mo which worked well as well but we did then have to nightwean.

I've just sold my cot. My DD is almost 3 and neither of mine have ever slept in it. TBH it's a complete relief having it out of the house!!

@teaandbiscuitsforme thanks! I think the mattress is the way to go as well! It's too much to expect a bed sharing baby to go into a cot on their own all at once I think. Especially when they're toddlers. Did you put guards up on the mattress so they couldn't fall out or were they ok without guards?

We use foam wedges that go under the sheet, like the ones from Purple Daisies. My almost 3 year old still loves hers and quite often snuggles into it.

It's definitely unrealistic to expect her to go from cosleeping to cot overnight. It's either going to take a long time and a lot of patience, or there are going to be tears. For me, the mattress solution has been quick and tear free - win win!!

We also have a stair gate on the stairs rather than on their rooms.

Have you thought about getting a standard double for your room so you can fit the cot in too ? Just a cheaper ikea or something for a year or so and store your big bed until little one is settled in their own room.

@Millipedewithherfeetup we did have a double in our daughters room but got rid of it because we thought we'd be able to move her into her cot. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and we should have kept it! It would be a nightmare to move the super king as our bedroom is at the top of our 3 storey Victorian house. Agh the trials and tribulations of having a baby ha ha. I'm sure we'll get there in the end.

We all get there in the end !!

I shared with my two until they were about 18 months ish.

Don't have time to reply properly but basically put them into a single bed with a bed guard. I would lay in bed with them until they fell asleep then creep out. Every time they woke up I'd get in until they fell asleep and then creep out. A few weeks of very disturbed sleep and they eventually woke up less and less. I then just sat on the end of the bed and held their hand until they fell asleep. I did this at the same time as night weaning off Breastfeeding so was quite hard. Whatever you do you'll get there eventually.

@MashLover thanks for the advice. I think that is more than likely what I'll do. Going to try her in the cot first and lay next to her then I'll see how it goes. I just don't like the idea of bars being between us and she's so used to me cuddling her to sleep in her sleepyhead. So I think I will more than likely end up putting her in the single mattress with guards. Fingers crossed it's not too much of a painful transition.

We did the final move to cot when we had two weeks holiday in the summer holidays. Just thinking back to those days!
It's so knackering. Hang in there!

@WowOoo thanks. My oh works non stop at the moment so unfortunately that isn't an option. It would be amazing if he could though! The bed has been made up next to her cot and my oh has taken the bar off the cot so we're all set for tonight. Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me!