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Leaving cranky/clingy/poor sleeping baby with grandparents...

9 replies

123456kent · 07/03/2018 20:06

My dd is 4.5 month old. This past week she has hit regression and is ticking all the ‘leap 4’ boxes - cranky, whiny, clingy to me, napping badly, developing fast, being lovely, but also being hard work. Night times were good, now have gone to pot. She has hysterics before bed (that’s not new though). She wakes through the night, feeds, cries. She wakes early.
She has an aversion to my poor dad, who tries his best to win her round, but she cries at the sight of him.
She has never loved bottles, but this week is point blank refusing them. She breastfeeds to sleep.
After a lot of persistence today she did eventually take a bottle, so I’m hoping that’s a good sign.
Me and OH have an evening we can’t get out of on Friday. Nor should we really... I think parents should have away time as long as baby is safe and cared for.
My problem is worrying how everyone is going to cope. are my parents and baby going to end up as sleepless wrecks by Saturday morning? And if they do, does it actually matter, am I getting this so out of context. What is the worst that can happen?
Can someone with experience talk me down please?!
I’m non stop worrying about this, it’s hardly worth it, bit we really do have to go!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Phillipa12 · 07/03/2018 20:13

Whats the worse that can happen, baby is a nightmare and your parents get very little sleep, they then hand baby backover on Saturday morning and go to bed!

RaindropsOnRoses2 · 07/03/2018 20:15

No advice really but just wanted to say I know how you feel. Rightly or wrongly I have never left 11.5mo DS as he is such a poor sleeper I don't feel I can put that on anyone else. I haven't even managed to leave him for the evening as bedtime is also a nightmare.
If she was really unsettled could you leave? Might be a bit of a compromise? You could agree a time limit for them getting her to sleep and if it goes past that you or DH go to get her. Just a thought but I definitely know how you feel.

123456kent · 07/03/2018 20:44

I could leave, but it would take an hour to get home, by which time the likeliness is she will have exhausted herself to sleep by then.
I can switch and also stay with her there once I am home, but that will mean limiting drinks because of breastfeeding and parents and OH don’t want this, they want us to have a baby free night.
As pp says whats the worst that can happen. Dd won’t be damaged by it, she will always be held and soothed no matter how hysterical she gets, parents have had 2 children and are prepared that it could get ugly.
Or it could be absolutely fine?
But I still feel sick with worry.
Pre baby I always thought people who couldnt and didnt leave their children were silly and clingy!! Now I realise how hard it is to put your challenging child on someone else...!

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GreenSeededGrape · 07/03/2018 20:48

I had one of these. I never left her as I just didn't feel I could inflict it on someone else (would have been IL not my parents)

If your DP are ok with it and you're ok with it then just crack on!

I of course didn't take my own advise 🙄

Heratnumber7 · 07/03/2018 21:00

If your parents are up for it, then crack on.
Babies and children are often much easier for people who aren't their parents anyway.
But if no one gets any sleep... we'll, it's only one night.

123456kent · 07/03/2018 22:08

I couldn’t do it with the in laws... i’m nervous enough about the parents.
If my parents don’t get any sleep then they can spend Saturday sleeping I suppose. I just worry that it will be my mum solely dealing with it as my dad even being in the room at the moment makes things worse.

My baby gets herself SO hysterical, even with me. It’s really upsetting.

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crazycatlady5 · 08/03/2018 07:45

Mine was (is) the same. I left her with my mum for a night out at 5 months and she was inconsolable for hours, so much so I went home. She was shivering and so upset, I felt terrible. I’ve only just started leaving her a little bit more now and that’s with her dad. I think if you’re aware that is a possibility and you’re ok with it, then go for it, but I’d make sure your folks are happy to comfort whenever needed x

123456kent · 08/03/2018 10:22

I’m just going to go to the event then stay at my parents with her. After a dreadful night last night, similar to the newborn days of barely any sleep, I just feel totally disheartened and fed up with it. I’d already cried before 6am. Nobody said it was easy but I did think by nearly 5 months I’d be able to have a small amount of freedom, was that naive?

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NerrSnerr · 08/03/2018 10:31

Both of our children have been poor sleepers and have fed to sleep to save our sanity. We didn't want to inflict it on others (not that we had anyone offer!) so we get our freedom from going out individually.

Once our eldest was in nursery when I'd returned to work we'd take annual leave together and have a day out/ go for a meal etc to do stuff together. It tough but we're used to it now!

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