Crying before daytime naps -what can i do?

[Vmama]

my 11wk old ds is generally a happy baby who only cries when there is something wrong -dirty nappy, hungry etc but he always cries b4 daytime naps. he doesn't sleep a lot during the day -usually he has 3 half hours between waking at 7ish and bed at 7pm. He never slept much and at first i was mistaking his im tired cries for hungry cries and he barely slept at all in the day so his current 3 naps seems good to me!! the midwife told me the upside of a really alert baby is he's prob goung to be really bright the downside is never having much time off! -anyway my query is this -b4 every nap he cries and will usually only fall asleep on me while being walked and shushed. i then put him down in his rocker chair and unless he wakes and starts crying again he sleeps for 30 mins on the dot! when he wakes he cries again.

he doesn't do this at night when he has a routine -bath, feed, bed but he did used to b4 we started the routine.

until now he's napped downstairs near me either in rocker or pram as i wanted to keep daytime and nighttime different but am now wondering if he should have naps in cot in his room? He's still sleeping in our room in an amby baby hammock so would still be different at night -just thinking maybe this would help him stop fighting naps?

any other thoughts welcome....!!

some babies do always cry before naps - ds1 always did.

but it sounds like you're letting your baby get too tired. does he usually have naps at the same times (roughly)? If so, try putting him down (or rocking him) 20 mins or so earlier. It may also help to put him down in his cot, or at least in the dark, too.

All my dc napped in there cots, that way they learn that is the place for sleeping, agree he is crying because he is tired, and to try to bring the times forward

never thought I'd quote SWMNBN but one piece of advice was that babies often wake after 30 mns but haven't really finished sleeping so that could be why he's crying, cos he's still tired really
ds2 and dd1 (who's only a dot really) were/are both like this but with dd1 I've learned and pop her in a sling to sleep - she always wakes up if put down, fussy little minx, but will sleep for hours in the sling and is generally much happier when awake because of it.
I've always done naps out of the bedroom and it never stopped mine from sleeping at night (apart from ds1 who just doesn't like sleep full stop, but that's another story, he was quite good as a baby lol)

think you're prob right -although he only starts crying when i try to get him to sleep, until then he's playing away happily. So do you just dictate the times for naps then? ive been trying to follow ds's lead so his routine is eat, play, nap -perhaps he should be napping at certain times but i don't want to get into a strict routine -i hate the GF style.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

YOU MENTIONED THE FORBIDDEN NAME

sorry am new to mumsnet -what do you mean?

GF can not be mentioned, will try and find a link to explain why.

sounds a lovely little life, eat , play, nap, quite fancy that myself

maybe after he's played for a bit you could pick him up and walk round with him, getting the washing in or something, chatting away so it could be 'play time' or could be sleep time depending on how he feels? or does that just annoy him? if so, it could be worth trying his usual night time place for a daytime nap as well if he can't switch off easily while being rocked/walked round etc.
ds2 and dd1 both seem/seemed almost impossible to get to sleep in the pram or car seat, I don't know how they do it, but both were ok when being held

routine is a dirty word in this household, like 'clean' or 'organised' or 'efficient'

here

Try to put him down when you've seen him do 3 yawns.(This is from baby whisperer)Its a good way to see if he's tired. Sounds simple but helps.
Also do the same routine every time. I'd put him where he sleeps at night. I've always done that.

He needs to learn to fall asleep without being walked about, (at some point IMO).
He's still very young though. He's probably ready for a nap, probably an hour and a half to 2 hours after he wakes.
He most likely wakes 30 mins into his sleep as thats when he comes into his 'light sleep' stage of his sleep cycle. Its getting him to learn to sleep for longer thats tricky. Does he wake in night?

he goes down at 7pm wakes anywhere between 10.30 and 1.30 to feed then again 3-4 hours later and again 3 hours or so after that -it changes every night -he is bf.

i am lloosely following baby whisperer as i love the philosophy behind it -it makes sense to me. so yes i do look for yawns but agree same place would b good.

His night wakes sound quite normal for his age. Very like my 2 at that age. Try putting him in his hammock tommorow for his naps

still need help with this -i've been at breaking point this week. He's now generally sleeping thru the night -7pm til 5 or 6am which is great but he's now really screaming before his naps in the day -again fine if he's out in the car or pram but when i try and put him in his cot he just kicks off and then works himself up to a point where he just screams and screams. I always try to put him down before he gets overtired but it's as though the minute he realises I want him to sleep he goes mad -he just hates sleeping in the day.

My mum told me she gave up on daytime sleep for me at 3 months as I was just the same but slept thru the night but i can tell he's tired and needs his sleep in the day.

also my MIL will be looking after him one day a week when I'm back at work and i'm trying to make it easier for her when i'm not there. My mum is totally unphased by his crying (she's amazing with kids) but MIL has already told me she doesn't do crying babies.

He's still in hammock at night fine but plan to move him to cot soon and am worried thta he is building up a hatred of it -DH tried this morning and says he thinks he just hates sleeping in the day so maybe we have to just tough it out -any thoughts? I can't face leaving him to cry but at the moment he's crying even when I carry him around though eventually he will drop off and then i put him in the cot.

could this just be a phase or have I made a rod for my own back as people keep telling me because I've not got him used to sleeping in his cot earlier?

If he doesnt want to go in the cot during the day dont put him there. My DD (5 mths) sleeps in her pram, car seat, on the sofa etc during the day and is quite happy. It hasnt affected her night time sleep.

Vmama, our babies sound very similar. And I think it is probably genetic - both DH and I hate going to bed (ok, I like it a lot more right at the moment than I did, but that's unusual!) But once we get there, we're happy to stay asleep there for a good long time.

I've started working her naps in with whatever else I'm doing - putting her in the sling or pram, depending on where we're going, or if I have the time and need a rest, lying down with her at midday - and just trying not to worry about it too much. She doesn't sleep huge amounts, and gets tired at times, but since she gets a good amount at night she seems to be doing OK. I'm not too upset, she's not too upset and we both seem OK with it.

As for the rods for our backs - well, they might give up on naps fairly early on, so the rods might not last too long.

As for your MIL, I don't know. We're probably starting with a part-time babysitter in September, so same concern. But I have read that babies are often more willing to nap in their cots for other people than for their mothers...

hi vesela good to know someone else is going through this -how old is your DD?

DS is now 18 wks and still hates daytime sleep

It's his age. DD always cried before daytime naps until 6 months. I don't think young babies always readily accept daytime sleep. DD was incapable of sleeps longer than 45 mins when tiny and it was a fight to get her off. As they get older they will sleep and they'll sleep for longer.

It's his age. DD always cried before daytime naps until 6 months. I don't think young babies always readily accept daytime sleep. DD was incapable of sleeps longer than 45 mins when tiny and it was a fight to get her off. As they get older they will sleep and they'll sleep for longer.

do you use a dummy? I had same prob with DD until I starting using a dummy at 10wks old- only for sleep times. I don't really have a strict routine but know that she can only stay awake for 2hrs max so at about 1hr and 50mins we have 5mins on the sofa (or on your knee wherever you are) quiet time with dummy in then down into pram for a nap she generally sleeps now 1-2hrs in the morning, 30-45mins in the afternoon and a quick 15 mins to get her through to bedtime at around 4.30-5pm. She is 16wks now. Hope it improves for you - I remember having to walk around bouncing her up and down for 30-45mins just to get her to sleep for 20mins! x

my LO also likes a bit of a cry before sleep, and like you i've been working really hard to avoid overtiredness. i now think that as she's a very lively and cheerful soul the rest of the time, the crying is just her burning off some of her boundless energy! i know ot's not always easy to listen to, but it helps to know she's not in any real distress. i just cuddle her and use the dummy until the crying stops and she begins to nod off.

hello

yes lots of people have suggested a dummy but even though I'm sure it would probably make things easier I don't really want him to have one -can't explain why. I don't disagree with them for other people I'm just not keen to give him one -if he cried a lot at other times it might be a different story but he's so cheerful most of the time that I figure I can put up with a bit of screaming when there's a genuine reason for it. In the early days we gave him one twice but it interfered with breast feeding which he'd always struggled with anyway so we went without it.
Having got to 4 months without one I'm reluctant to give him one now.

I'm encouraged by the idea that things will get better at 6 months and also i think as long as he's getting the sleep he needs to stop him being grumpy then he must be ok -today he's had 2 half hour naps and hasn't been at all grumpy. He slept from 7-7 last night so maybe he needs less sleep. He'll be off to bed between 6-7 anyway.

HV who is lovely says some babies just need less sleep and as long as he's thriving and happy i shouldn't worry about forcing him into a schedule just yet. Said they only suggest introducing routines at 3 months and since he has good bedtime routine we shouldn't worry.

(am having a good day today so feel more positive!)