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Sleep

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Original poster

2 yr old sleep

19 replies

Edinburghlass1991 · 05/03/2018 20:37

Iam on my knees about my ds sleep.
Bit of background he might have asd.
Since about 6 month's he takes over two hrs to sleep and wakes 10+ a night screaming which doesn't get better no matter what we do. We need help but it doesn't help . I can't cope anymore :(

OP posts:
user1471459936 · 05/03/2018 20:48

Does he nap? How much sleep does he have in 24 hours? It does sound terrible. Maybe see your GP or health visitor.

Original poster
Edinburghlass1991 · 05/03/2018 20:53

HV has been trying he sleeps for 8 hrs 2 of which is nap during the day

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Missnearlyvintage · 05/03/2018 21:08

Where is he sleeping? If he isn't in your room is it worth bringing in his bed, or having him in your bed to see if he'd sleep more, (although I know this isn't always the answer).
My 2 yo rarely naps anymore, (her choice), and it is obvious when she hasn't had a very active day and has napped as she finds it hard to switch off in the evening. Is your DS very active in the day? what time is his nap?
Sorry, your DS's routine sounds very tiring. I hope you find something that will help.

Missnearlyvintage · 05/03/2018 21:13

I've just thought as well, have you ever had him checked over in case there is something like silent reflux which is affecting him when he is lying down?

InDubiousBattle · 05/03/2018 21:17

What do you do now op? What does bedtime consist of? Is he in his own room?

Original poster
Edinburghlass1991 · 05/03/2018 21:40

He did have reflux with strong meds but it was still the same.
He naps 1 to 3 bed at 8 in a cot pulled up to our bed me and dh take it in turns putting our hand in the cot while putting him to bed. That roughly takes two hrs while he screams or shakes his cot ( no words yet) the same when he wakes during the night . we have tried putting him in a big bed but it's the same with that but is to unsafe as he's like a baby with his since of danger

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InDubiousBattle · 05/03/2018 22:03

Has he had his two year review with the hv yet? I know in my area they are gettingdelayed but if there is a specific concern they will fit you in? Have you spoken to them about is speech? Is he better actually in your bed?

Original poster
Edinburghlass1991 · 05/03/2018 22:35

We were cosleeping with him but it didn't make it better. he is under a team that's thinking he has autism.

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Missnearlyvintage · 05/03/2018 23:22

Have you spoken to the team about his sleep patterns and any strategies they might recommend?
When my DCs were still napping regularly, any sleep after 1-2pm ruined the stereotypical 7-8pm bedtime routine. I've never really stopped them napping if they are shattered, but I wonder if the afternoon sleep could be brought forward to late morning or over lunchtime to allow for more time to get tired again ready for bedtime?
What happens if you don't put him to bed at the usual time and let him stay up with you downstairs? Will he still resist sleep later on or does he go down easier?
I'm just thinking that at 2 my DS was an only child and so we had no school routine etc, in the morning, and I wouldn't be bothered if he stayed up until 9 or 10pm after having a later nap in the day as we'd just have a slower paced morning... it worked better than struggling upstairs with him for an hour+ if he wasn't really ready for sleep. I'd carry on with my things in the evening with him downstairs, keep the lights dim, sound levels low, noisy bright coloured toys away, but but watch TV etc. for my wellbeing if child appropriate, and go up to bed with him when he showed signs of tiredness. Our family routine has only gotten into the fairly rigid 7-8pm bedtime since DS started at nursery and school really.
Sorry if that is of absolutely no help! I don't think I'm qualified to comment really, but sleep deprivation is just the worst so you have my sympathy. I hope you can get something sorted soon that works for all of you

Osirus · 05/03/2018 23:35

I agree with Miss. My daughter, who’s 20 months has for many months (so far younger than your son) not been tired at the “conventional” bedtimes of 7-8pm and there’s no way I’d waste two hours every night sitting by her cot waiting for her to fall asleep. She still needs her daytime nap but it takes hours for her to get tired again.

I would absolutely keep him up with you for another few hours. We’ve enjoyed some really great moments with our daughter in the evenings, especially helpful as my DH works long hours and this means he gets to see her.

When he drops the nap he’ll go to bed earlier. Don’t stress about the fixed bedtime, that’s such a waste of two hours.

You might find that if you keep him up a bit later he won’t fall into a sleep that proceeds from being frustrated at not being tired, and may sleep much more soundly.

Original poster
Edinburghlass1991 · 05/03/2018 23:45

We have tried later bedtimes but its just the same story. He does seem to sleep better on me while sat on the sofa but still wakes up screaming and unable to settle.

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Original poster
Edinburghlass1991 · 06/03/2018 08:32

Bump due to hope someone might know what to do

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Original poster
Edinburghlass1991 · 06/03/2018 18:52

Last bump promise

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Missnearlyvintage · 06/03/2018 21:43

Have you mentioned it to the team that are reviewing his possible autism? I would think they would be best qualified to help.

I had a brief look on the internet about it, and a lot of the information was based on keeping routines etc. and warning children what is coming so they know what is happening and what is expected of them. Have you looked at any charities websites regarding the situaton? They may have tips.
Can you sleep with him in the day while he has his 2 hour nap so you don't feel so tired and struggle with the night time waking? Could you see if your local Surestart children's centre has any staff which are knowledgeable about this kind of thing? My local centre has parenting courses etc. so they may have had training and be able to help, or just a sympathetic ear for you to speak to.
Could you and your partner both take your Son to bed, and one could sleep while the other stays up and waits for him to go to sleep. You could take it in turns to nap every other night just to keep your energy up.
Sorry if this is unhelpful!

guinnessguzzler · 06/03/2018 21:53

Just going by your user name, have you tried contacting Sleep Scotland? They work with families of children with additional support needs around sleep issues so not sure if they would only work with you if your son has a diagnosis but might be worth looking into? www.sleepscotland.org

Original poster
Edinburghlass1991 · 07/03/2018 11:38

His team is aware. They did mention sleep Scotland but I don't think iam happy to use it as he has no formal diagnosis

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guinnessguzzler · 07/03/2018 18:05

Might be worth speaking to them; if they are happy to work with you then why not? Obviously not trying to push you into something you don't want to do though! You can always just speak to them and see what they say. Good luck with it whatever you do; sleep deprivation is brutal!

Original poster
Edinburghlass1991 · 08/03/2018 17:44

I spoke with sleep Scotland today they said they think they can help so I've given the go ahead to his doctor to referrer him.

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guinnessguzzler · 08/03/2018 18:27

Fab news, really wish you all the best with it!

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