Nearly 2 year old refuses to sleep without me

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Hello
Need help!!
My ds2 used to sleep ok in a cot by himself. He has a dummy. Bedtime routine at 7pm, milk, story etc. I used to put him down awake and leave and that was that. He has a night light and he is in a bed now.
Then he started waking a bit at night and we'd either give him milk or just bring him into bed. I know - it was survival.
Now we can't put him down and leave. We have to wait in the room. At least he gets himself to sleep ok. I just sit there no eye contact till he is asleep, then leave.
He will wake around 9pm but he's quite easy to get back to sleep. Just a shush and dummy and back he goes. It's around 1am it gets harder as he screams for me. I was just co sleeping with him as it meant I could sleep as well but I can't do it anymore. I'm not sleeping well, my ds1 is getting jealous, and I want him to be independent.
So what do I do from here? Last night I slept on the floor in his room but he ended up on the floor with me.
Should I carry on with this gradual thing, or do some sort of cc? I feel a bit mean doing that cold turkey as he just thinks he sleeps with me!
I try and explain simply that he has to sleep on his own bed.
Help! Any advice? Some sort of three day mean controlled crying or two week slow burner. I'm not sure how to even go about anything! So so tired.

Bumping for you. Mine Is 2.5 and I've started again tonight

Nooooo!
I don't remember this happened with ds1, though am lucky if I remember my name at the moment 😀

We had another floor 'sleep' at midnight onwards last night.

Tonight I'm going to try be strong and get him back to sleep in his own bed.

My 2.5 year old has been going through this. She stays in bed but wants me to sleep on the floor. To begin with I was taking a blanket and going to sleep but the last week I haven't and just sat. She has started to just drop straight back off. It has taken ages and I still have to go in but it's for about a minute at most.
I tried the gradual retreat but that didn't work at all. There's another method that's got something to do with saying you've got to get something and will be back in a minute but I can't remember what it's called.
You have my sympathies. I hope you get some sleep soon.

Oh we had this. Total separation anxiety mixed with learning he can actually get what he wants.
We had to ride it out. He was napping beautifully at nursery but for me it was a nightmare - he ‘needed’ to be rocked to sleep for any naps and nighttime. Tackled it on a Friday so I could get some rest if I needed it the next day and Sunday. And just kept going. Putting him in his bed, lying him down and saying the same thing ‘it’s sleepy time go to sleep night night’ etc. He HATED it but I didn’t give in. Went in every 5 mins when he was stood up which took a while. Once he lay down I stood at the door so he could hear me and said the same thing with a ssssssh noise. And he went to sleep.
Took one night and we were back to being absolutely fine.

My two year old had a few times (and still does) where she doesn't want to go to bed. Purely because she wants to stay up and play. She'll scream and shout until I go in and then she's fine. I am absolutely determined I will never lie on the floor with her or sit in her room but this is because my mum did this with me and I relied on it and she had to continue to do it until I started school. She was shattered and she had no life in an evening.
Perhaps I'm cruel but I leave my little girl to cry. I will sometimes go in, give her a hug, tell her it's ok and leave her again but I will not stay in there at all. It really does work- I know a few people who have tried it and although it's hard and not nice to leave a child crying, after a few days they get the hang on it and settle themselves. You have to try and remember that your child isn't in pain, they aren't hungry or thirsty, they aren't sick, so you don't have to feel bad that you are leaving them to learn to self settle.
As I say, some people aren't happy to follow this method so it's just an idea for you op. I really hope you get it sorted, it sounds stressful.

Following with interest as I have 16mo like this. Do you think he's old enough to understand a reward chart? A sticker every night he spends in his own bed and he can choose a toy as a reward each week? This just worked wonders for my eldest but she's 3. Also I don't know if this is an option but my DH can settle our 16mo back into her cot if she wakes in the night but I can't no matter what I do. I think she just sees me and associates me with taking her into our bed so nothing else will do. Good luck!

I think I'm going to have to be brave and be a bit stronger. No sleeping in the room!

Pip oh yes definitely. He associates me with the cuddles. Doesn't play up as much for DH but unfortunately DH has heavy workload so I have to do the week night shift boo.

Think sticker chart might be too advanced perhaps? But worth a try!?

Bite the bullet, or you will be faffing around for months.

If he cries, go in say its night time and Mummy is going to sleep and baby needs to sleep then leave and shut the door. Wait 2 mins repeat, wait 5 mins repeat, wait 10 mins repeat, wait 10 mins repeat and so on. If his wails are winding down, dont go in at 10 mins just hang on a bit more.

If you think he will understand, then at bedtime say baby is going to sleep in his room tonight and Mummy is going to sleep in her room tonight because she is getting cold sleeping in your room and big boys sleep on their own (until they get married!)

With a bit of luck night 1 will be painful and night 2 will be much easier and night 3 will be sorted. If you work FT it can be easier to start on a Friday night so you can nap during the day