Do babies really HAVE to go down awake?

[jmscp2015]

Routine is bath, bottle, cuddle & story and bed. No rocking just being held.

She's 12 weeks old and falls sleep during her cuddle/ story and is then put down.

She sleeps 8-4/5am then feed, then through til 7/8.

Am I making a rod for my own back here or does it really matter? I love the cuddles. Obviously! And it's not like she's waking multiple times a night (unless she's a bit poorly)

Everything I read says put down drowsy but awake, so I'm just wanting opinions if it's mattered for you not putting them down awake?

Thanks!

Seemed to make no difference with mine. One would only go to sleep if fed to sleep or rocked for an hour, the other would pull himself off the boob to go to sleep a bit drowsily in my arms. You sound like you've got it sorted, so I wouldn't take any notice of what anyone else says or thinks you 'should' be doing.

I never managed it at all until mine was around 3 years! She goes to sleep with no problems now (school age), I wouldn’t worry too much

DO whatever suits you- the tiny cuddles are so short lived, treasure every one of you like them.
That kind of sleeping is amazing at 12 weeks- don’t get too used to it as all sorts interrupt it- 4 month sleep regression, teeth, starting to be in move...
Honestly, jut enjoy it. They are too little to learn ‘bad habits’. You can never cuddle a little one too much. It’s good for their (and your) mental health.
You’ll feel when you are both ready to start making the next transition.

Made no difference for me. My first DC was a feed-to-sleep-er and she slept brilliantly. My second would only go to sleep on his own, hated being held at bedtime. And he was a total nightmare, up several times a night for years. All the advice the health visitor could ever offer was to put him down awake - I did that EVERY DAY!
If it's working for you, keep taking the cuddles, it's soon enough that they grow out of them!

She is 12wo and sleeps 8pm to 4am!!!!

In the name of all that is holy, keep on doing what you’re doing right now! You have the perfect baby. Don’t risk changing whatever witchcraft you’re practising. I don’t know if you realise that many, many, many other parents would sell their souls to have their children sleep so well.

Wow at that amount of sleep. And no, you can’t cuddle a baby enough. Don’t worry.

She is 12 weeks!! You’re doing brilliantly.

Dd1 wouldn’t go to sleep without being held until she was 18 months

Thank you all for your replies!

I think I just needed reassurance I wasn't committing some terrible sin I'd end up paying for in the long run!

First time mum paranoia.

I know she sleeps amazingly well at the moment and we're very very very lucky^^ - but I'm trying not to get too used to it incase of sleep regressions etc.

Mine still doesn't at 16 months. He won't forever, and before a period of illness I'd started having success with telling him to lie down and close his eyes and he followed instructions, so I expect it will have stopped in a matter of weeks.

I'm still bitter about all the sleep advice that mandates "sleepy but awake". I tried to follow it and I can only conclude I was mentally torturing both myself and my son in my brief attempts.

If they will, they will. They won't, they won't. (sample size of one btw!)

Ignore the "shoulds" and go with instinct (and enjoy the cuddles!!).

What you are doing is obviously working for you right now, so carry on and make the most of it because it might not last.

For what it's worth none of my (5) babies were put down to sleep at all. They all slept in my arms or a sling and we coslept until 3. I've had a handful of disturbed nights between all of them. None of them had any sort of bedtime routine at 12 weeks and none would tolerate being put down either drowsy or asleep.

They all moved to their own beds with no problems and slept well. I don't regret all of those extra cuddles at all.

It's more an art than a science. There is no right way. Be ready to adapt as your baby changes. Respond to them and look after yourself and you will be fine.

I don't believe comforting and cuddling your baby means you are making a rod for your own back. Babies are different and no one way works for all babies.

I fed to sleep for a long time and now at 10 months DD doesn’t fall asleep on the bottle and wriggles about in my arms so I’m putting her down sleepy but not asleep. I’ve got to admit that it is helping with night wakings but for a long time she slept really well at night despite me feeding to sleep so I think now it’s a natural progression and she’s showing me what she needs. I miss the cuddles we used to have at bedtime

I think for most babies it’s utter nonsense tbh. As a PP said some actually prefer it but they let you know, most need parental input.

Sounds like she’s sleeping brilliantly, don’t doubt yourself!!

My routine with DD was very similar at that age, the only difference being we did a dreamfeed around 10-11pm so she would go straight through to 7am without a wake up. At 12 weeks she was always asleep in my arms (if not during her bottle). By 5 months or so it was 50/50 whether she’d nod off, if she was awake I put her down awake. She’s now 8 months she is always awake at the end of her routine and doesn’t go to sleep until put down in her cot.

Thank you for all the replies

This is pretty much exactly the same as my last daughter at this age, sleep pattern wise and night time routine wise. Honestly I would stick to it, it didn't make any problems for us and she continued in this fashion until about 6 months where she then went to about 11 hours a night

When teething cam in about a year we did have disturbed nights of course but other then that or illness she has continued as a excellent sleeper all though toddler hood and beyond. It's probably pure magic and luck but I had to comment as your routine was so similar to ours back in the day that I really wanted to reassure you.

Of course no babies are 'the same' but hopefully their habits are similar as my daughter still at the age of nearly 8 sleeps a good 12 hours a night

And no we don't drug her!

Ah thank you @Potteryprincess30

That actually is really reassuring so I will have to keep my fingers firmly crossed!

DD1 was fed to sleep and was a nightmare sleeper until nearly 2. DD2 goes down awake (worked hard on it as I didn’t want a mare again. And DD2 is a nightmare sleeper too at 13 months and counting. Waste of time getting her to self settle, should have just enjoyed the cuddles!!

My first never self settled. Was rocked til about 12m (when I couldn't hold her anymore!) then she went to 'lean over the cot' and gradual retreat.

My second self settled til 6m. Then when started moving/standing completely stopped self settle. I then had to rock 6m-11m and just recently he has started to be rocked a little bit and then put in cot with an extra dummy in his hand(distracts him whilst I walk out) and then has been self settling after that. But 11m old has not yet slept though the night lol.

Do what suits you and the main thing (in my opinion and I only learnt this the second time!) is to not get stressed out about it.

Me being stressed and trying to 'fix' things was a mistake first time as she just grew out of waking up at about 14m :)

I haven't put them down awake for either of mine. First is 4 years now and he started going to sleep in his own bed at about 18 months when we moved him out his cot. Second is still cuddled to sleep at 15 months. We'll do the same with him. Both are good sleepers.

There is no rod. You cuddle that baby as long as you can

They’re all different. DS1 was fed to sleep, no issues, slept through from 5 months and hardly woke up again.
DS2 was also fed to sleep, first 4-5 months were fine but by 7m he was asking every 40 minutes, so i’m not sure feeding to sleep was good for him.
I’m now pg with no 3, have no idea how to play it!

Just go with it and enjoy it. DS was like this until the 4 month sleep regression. Not to scare you but it hit us hard and he was waking up to 5 times a night until 8 months. But he got teeth and learned to crawl which probably didn't help. We co slept and he always fed back to sleep super quickly. The best bit of advice I had was from my sister who said she didn't really enjoy her first as she was always worrying about putting her down awake etc but then she had a big sleep regression and ended up doing controlled crying. She let her second sleep in her arms every night and both her DC are now amazing sleepers. Just enjoy the cuddles!

DS used to go down sleepy but awake. It didn't last for more than a few months, and we had to start feeding/cuddling him to sleep, which was/is fine.

He's 17mo now and when he finally stops needing cuddled at bedtime I'll be very sad.

mine were both put down awake and were fine - mainly because if we fed to sleep they got gripey pain and often brought up any milk they had just taken on -

they both needed "vigorous" winding before they could be laid down - which would wake them anyhow.