Changing from feeding to sleep to sshhhh/pat

[helpwithsleepplease]

Hello, I am hoping to start sleep training my 3 month old. She is currently feeding to sleep and I would like to try shhhh/pat.

We currently go upstairs to the darkened nursery, change nappy, then lie down on the bed for a feed. I was wondering do I still give her a wee feed before trying shhh/pat. Or will this feed just be something I will have to wean her off later? Should I maybe offer her a feed downstairs until she is drowsy and then carrying her upstairs to nursery to begin shh/pat?
( we have tried moses basket downstairs-she refuses)

So my plan of action is:

When she wakes, change nappy, bring downstairs for activity time
Watch for beginning signs of tiredness,
Or
After about 50 mins think about offering a feed downstairs
Then bring her upstairs, dark room, lullaby on, nappy change, hold her quietly on my knee for a cuddle for 5 mins, gentle shhhhhing, lay her down and begin shhh/ pat

If she is really distressed to begin with as she is learning this routine, I will lift her and shhh/pat on the shoulder and then lay down when calm again.
Would I need to give her a dummy if she’s used to sucking for comfort, or am I best not encouraging something else which would need weaned?

Do you think this routine should work, and is here anything else that I should do to help it be successful?
Many thanks

Crazycatlady, it honestly is OK to help your baby to settle themselves and sleep better, you don't have to leave them to cry and they don't feel in danger! I hear my 5 month old wake up from a nap happily and gurgle to herself, she isn't panicking

I’d love to know how she knows I have snuck out!

Some babies are more sensitive to the sleep environment than others. Occasionally before falling into deep sleep sensitive babies perform a quick "scan" of their surroundings to ensure nothing has changed and it is still safe to continue sleeping. If they see something has gone wrong (e.g. their mum who was feeding them at bedtime disappeared) they wake up. They might not cry - they will just stay awake.

I did a mistake with DD and messed up with her nice long naps in the pram by putting a snooze shade over her when she was already asleep. DD viewed it as a change and started waking up after 30-40 minutes of sleep. I never managed to fully reverse this.

How long did it take from when you first introduced shh/pat until your wee one now just needs a few pats/blanket to fall asleep? And what age were they when you started?

That really varies a LOT. I started when DD was 8 weeks. First 2 weeks were tough (primarily for me - DD was generally fine as long as she was shushed/patted:)) but it got much easier from week 10. Settling to sleep initially took about 20 minutes (as long as DD was not overtired) but again, it got better quickly.

Here are a few additional tips on shush/pat (on top of @childmindingmumof3 advice which is extremely helpful):

www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/shhpat.html#more