My shit sleeper

[FindingNormal]

Ok. Have posted here before about this situation but things have moved on a bit. Dd is coming up 10 months (actual) but 8 corrected. In December she had tonsillitis and had antibiotics which ruined her tummy. For 2 months she had the runs and was in pain all night. The only way she could get any sleep was being held upright. Thankfully her tummy has in the past week got miles better,however she's now in the habit of being held to sleep and won't go in her cot. At all. I think she's in a development leap too which won't be helping matters but how do we turn this around? I don't fancy controlled crying (we have a toddler who would be disturbed by it anyway) and co-sleeping isn't for me!!! Before all this she was an maxing sleeper, would settle in her cot and wake only once or twice. My mental health and relationships with dh are suffering as I'm so completely exhausted.

She’s not a shit sleeper, she’s a baby! What about cosleeping or taking the side off her cot and putting it next to you?

There's no room to move the cot and I just don't want to cosleep. Everyone I know who has coslept is still doing it with their 3 yr old and I need my space !

Most people I know who have coslept moved their kids into their own room at 18 months/2 years. I do totally feel for you, I have a baby that hates sleep! If I didn’t cosleep I’d be up loads in the night so we all get the most rest and it won’t be forever.

I think you need to explore the middle ground between co sleeping and 'controlled crying' Could you do a form of gradual retreat? Slowly reduce the body contact, starting with leaning right over the cot with arms around her, then work towards having her fall asleep eg holding your hand instead of in your arms and reduce the contact til she's used to sleeping without being held ...

There probably be some protests as she gets used to it but I think some short term upset and disturbance to your toddler is both inevitable and worth it for your marriage and mental health.

She's still fucking awful. Now we can't get passed one sleep cycle whether in bed with us or in her cot.

Do you feed baby overnight?

How is solids weaning going? Diee baby have milk and dolids in the day? Is baby a good weight and gaining well?

Where/how is baby currently going to sleep?

When she's well she loves her solids but she's basically been ill with one thing or another since Xmas. She hasn't eaten much since Thursday. Yes I feed her in the night. Used to be able to put her in her cot awake and she'd settle with a dummy. Now she either feeds to sleep, is rocked, or cuddled with dummy.