Paranoid about newborn's sleep

[1NuDad]

Hi all.

My boy was born last Wednesday so he's 10 days old.

He's actually sleeping pretty well and in his Moses basket and is breast feeding so I can't complain.

But I find it hard to not be paranoid about every single noise he makes while asleep, whether he's overheating, whether his blanket is too close to his face, whether he can choke if he throws up, endless! And when I do fall to sleep I wake up in a sweat worrying about him.

It's ridiculous.

Anyone else been like this and what do you do to reassure yourself and just chill out?!

Yes - I had this. I realised many years later I had had post natal anxiety. It’s like pnd but the symptoms very different. If you are struggling to switch off and sleep etc book an appointment and speak to your gp.

Ps did you have a difficult birth or previous miscarriages or something? It might also help you to track down the source of your worries.

No, I'm a dad! I just naturally worry. But I worry my partner too and that's not healthy. We were talking about SIDS in bed the other night and she woke up in a panic later thinking she was lying on the baby when it was actually the hot water bottle. I felt bad as I think I got her worked up. So I need to curb it but struggling to at the moment.

Dads can be affected by difficult births and pnd /pna too

Practically why not buy a breathing monitor like angel care and you can put in under the mattress - it goes off if they did stop breathing. I found very reassuring to use.

I think it’s normal. I used to dream that I dropped DD1 out of bed. We didn’t even bed share! I’d wake up panicked and then see her peacefully in her cot.

With DD2 if it’s not full on crying I assume she’s fine

Thank you. Didn't even think about a breathing monitor but presumed it was like a placebo effect anyway in that it wouldn't actually help even if something was wrong? But maybe just good for peace of mind then?? Thanks!

I think this is normal. My lg is 6 months and bf. I used to have nightly nightmares about falling asleep on her. I would wake up so confussed wondering why i had 2 babies , 1 in the bed abd 1 in the crib. I would also wake and think i was still holding her. It took me a good 5 minutes each time to work out i was still dreaming.

Still happens occasionally but not so much now.

I also think its quite common. I used to wake up panicking and still do very occasionally at 4mo. I recently woke after a 'dream' i thought DS had got caught in a pillow and found I had infact stripped all the pillow cases off my pillows in the night looking for him....its wierd...but.i think normal.

Congratulations on the birth of your son btw x

Yes. Like a PP I had postnatal anxiety. Though tbh I was more worried about no noise, than noise!

I found baby sleeping in Moses basket increased my anxiety as I couldn't see him over the top of it (when I was lying down in bed). With DC2 we had a sidecar crib from birth, I found it much more reassuring being almost literally face to face with her. Are there any practical changes you can make that would help?

Also agree with a PP that a traumatic birth can add to the anxiety, even if you don't realise it. Might this be a contributing factor?

It's not ridiculous at all so don't beat yourself up! They seem so very tiny and vulnerable at this age but try and remember that the vast vast majority of babies are absolutely fine - risks are very small.

Buy a Gro Bag, that will at least remove the worry about blankets. Once baby is 8lbs 8oz, they are big enough for most sleeping bags. Personally I love the Love To Dream arms up swaddle, so might be worth looking at that too.