3yo just won't sleep DESPERATE

[4waystretch]

I have 4 DC so am no stranger to lack of sleep and sleep issues. But DD (3) taking the biscuit (a middle one). Ever since she was young she has been a terrible sleeper. She has always had the capacity to lie awake for hours no matter what. As a baby she would lie awake for up to three hours not crying in the middle of the night. We've had various periods have terrible sleep and I've fixed it with being strict (with myself particularly). I've never let her have any sleep crutches. She fed to sleep at night until about eight months but that's it. Sat in her room with her a handful of times to try and help her get to sleep but she has never fallen asleep with me doing this, just lies awake.

At the moment she is waking at some point in the night and staying awake for an hour to two hours. As a result she is exhausted in the day. Last night for example she woke and cried, I went in and took her for a wee and back to bed. Twenty minutes later she cried for me, left her for a bit and went back in. Went out again, forty minutes later crying etc and so it goes on. I know she is just lying awake quietly in these periods and not going back to sleep.

So as not to drip feed:
She watches television rarely, once a week maybe
She gets plenty of fresh air and exercise
She eats well and never has sugar
Her room is dark and quiet and warm.

I think the lack of crutches is the problem. Sounds like she had literally nothing to comfort her in the middle of the night, and you are assuming she doesn't need anything.

I think it might help if you introduce asleep trigger (Pavlov style)-maybe a warm cup of milk or a bedtime teddy? Just sonethingshe always does before falling asleep.

Oh she does have a teddy! She has zillions of stuffed animals and two special ones. But she's not formed that much attachment to them.

I don't think that's it, although I do think worth giving it a go. The problem is More her capacity to just lie wide awake. But tonight I'll try to I'll put focus on the one toy and how he's there to cuddle her if she wakes etc.

I think sadly some children just need less sleep. My counsins kids wouldn’t sleep until 10/11 at night when they were 3/4/5/6 etc. She was out of her mind until she just let it be. One is now 10 and the other 13, they don’t go to bed until late and are always fine. I think honestly some kids just need less sleep. Sorry I know that doesn’t help with the lack of sleep for you just trying to reassure you about her.

Finally at 3 years four months old or DD is sleeping through the night in her own bed. I never thought this would happen. We did this moving her into a new bedroom which she was excited about, sticking a reward chart by her bed and she gets a sticker on it when she spends the whole night in her own bed (as her problem was waking up and coming into our bed in the night) she gets a toy of her choice for every week full of stickers, and we got her a gro clock which she's really taken to. We're two weeks in so I hope this isn't just a phase!

Oh we also read her a book called the rabbit who wanted to fall asleep which is like a hypnosis type book for helping children to go to sleep. If she woke in the night we'd read it to her until she fell asleep, it's pretty long and boring! It kind of works, I think!