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Help! How to get from feeding to sleep to self settling?

7 replies

Seahawk80 · 20/02/2018 05:57

Just that really. DS is 7.5 months and will only fall asleep breastfeeding, in the buggy, car or in the sling. I know I've made a rod for my own back by feeding to sleep but I'm in this situation now! He's a very good baby and pretty chilled but gets overtired and only the above will get him to sleep. I don't even know how to start to get him to self settle but I want to start now before stopping breastfeeding. The internet seems to be full of miracle methods but I'd rather hear what worked for you.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Seahawk80 · 20/02/2018 05:58

Just thought I should add he's never had a dummy, just wasn't interested when younger - just in case it's relevant.

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alwaysthinkingofsleep · 20/02/2018 06:02

Hiya, I BF to sleep for naps & mine was a terribly unsettled sleeper overnight after he'd gone over through rocking. At 10 months we used controlled crying, it worked overnight & it was a game changer for us (prior to that I was very stressed & he was miserable). That's not for everyone though, you know yourself & baby & if it's right for you. My baby wasn't terribly distressed so I was comfortable doing it & we had a great outcome.
I have friends who used the shush pat method or staying with them until they fell asleep but trying v v hard not to pick them up.

Whatever you decide to do, just be consistent, we are helping them to find a new way & sometimes that takes a bit of time - good luck!

Pythonesque · 20/02/2018 06:23

I think you are picking a great time to try to do this - old enough that it is a realistic goal, but also probably at a time when being able to self-settle on waking in the night might sometimes be appropriate (rather than waking always = need feeding again).

My daughter was also 9 or 10 months when I realised I "had" to do something about it; it was easier than I feared once I was mentally prepared and able to deal with it.

I didn't use controlled crying as such, although I thought of what I was doing along those lines somewhat.

First step is to be able to put your baby down still awake - not always easy to achieve with this "type" lol. I suppose what I did was more "gradual withdrawal" and I like the analogy I've heard of a piece of elastic. So I started with verbal reassurance and a hand on her, then slowly removed the hand, then started to move gradually away from the cot. But every time she cried I'd move back in and reassure, then start to retreat again.

To my shock by the 3rd night it was pretty much sorted - I'd assumed it would need at least a week or more to get anywhere.

Oh and I used wind-up musical toys as "sleep cues" as well. Meant that I could then maintain a routine of grizzling baby - go in (check) and reassure, turn music on and leave the room.

Start when you feel ready and able and have your head in the right place. Remember that what you are doing is teaching your baby a skill that they need to learn and are probably ready to learn. Best wishes! (won't say good luck because I don't think luck is needed)

NameChange30 · 20/02/2018 06:23

We did it in two stages. I read a lot of sleep advice and most seem to advise that. First stage is switching from feeding to rocking to sleep. Second stage is progressing from rocking to self settling, which you can do using the method of your choice, gentle/gradual or more strict. We did PUPD/gradual retreat. I wanted minimal crying but unfortunately DS did a lot of angry protest crying when he realised we wanted him to fall asleep in his cot and were no longer going to let him sleep on us all night! It was hard but we did comfort him (sitting next to him, touching/stroking tummy if he would let us, and not letting him cry hard for more than about 10 minutes without picking up to cuddle and calm down before putting back down).

I should probably also say that he wasn’t always fed to sleep, we had already been rocking to sleep for naps and he was actually falling asleep in his cot at bedtime. It was just the night wakings that he was still fed to sleep, as he was waking so much that I just found feeding back to sleep in bed was the easier option. Obviously rocking to sleep and then PUPD or whatever method is harder in the short term. But should pay off.

MamaJenkins · 20/02/2018 10:51

I have the same issue of feeding to sleep with my ten month old, I’d really like to get it cracked (partly so that daddy to put him to bed sometimes and I can have a break!) Thank you got all of your advice and tips, much appreciated. 😊

crazycatlady5 · 20/02/2018 12:17

Self settling is developmental.

You can gently stop feeding to sleep by using the Pantley Pull off or another similar technique, both below. It’ll take longer (perhaps 4-6 weeks) but the idea is it’s tear and trauma free:

www.mybabysleepguide.com/2010/04/change-your-babys-sleep-association-for.html?m=1

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/sarahockwell-smith.com/2014/08/10/how-to-gently-night-wean-a-breastfed-baby-or-toddler/amp/

Seahawk80 · 20/02/2018 19:39

Thanks everyone. I'm going to have a look at the gradual methods vs controlled crying and decide what to do. We're moving into his room tonight (with me in spare bed in there) as step one!

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