Dropping the dream feed

[sunnyfields25]

Hi

I'm curious to know when other people dropped the dream feed and whether it was a success, as we're in the process of doing it but I'm not sure whether this is the right time.

DS is nearly 9 months and has been having a dream feed since very early on. However whereas it used to be a very big feed (as far as I can tell from BFing) it had recently dropped down to a quick feed on just one side. It was the only night feed DS was having and he then slept through til morning.

A few nights ago I tried dropping it, expecting him to wake in the night, but he didn't! Just went 11 hours until morning! Same again the next night! I thought I'd cracked it! But then last night he woke at 1am, wouldn't resettle with the dummy and got a bit upset so I fed him. But he then took ages to settle afterwards.

It's only been three nights and DS has a bit of a cold so I can't draw any major conclusions yet. But I'm now torn between reinstating the dream feed or carrying on without it and seeing how things pan out. I'd rather not go back to the days of night wakings and long resettles if it can be avoided though.

Does anyone know whether it's usual to have dropped the dream feed by 9 months? and did it result in more night wakings if this is what you did?

Thanks

DS dropped it at about ten months - just refused it. I tried for two nights then stopped. It was the final breastfeed we had left (he was a biter so I'd mostly weaned him to formula because bugger me his teeth were sharp) so I came downstairs and had a big glass of wine.

He did later go through a phase of night wakings but I found he wouldn't feed even if I offered, so we moved onto a sippy cup of water offered and a cuddle, then went through various gentle sleep training methods - patting his bottom, picking up and putting down, all that jazz. He started sleeping through at around 12 months and has never really looked back, apart from illness, teething etc - the usual reasons really.

We just dropped it at 11 weeks. DD was only taking two ounces at a time so we just took a chance and dropped it abruptly and she didn't wake.

Thanks @Spudlet that's interesting, and makes me wonder whether I should be sticking with it a bit longer until DS actually refuses it. As lovely as it is having the option of an early night, if I'm going to have to do a night feed I'd rather it was before I go to bed than in the middle of the night.

Haha I like your thinking with the big glass of wine

Definitely carry on without it. They don't seem to need food in the night at that age and it seems to be just habit or comfort. And sometimes, they just wake up between sleep cycles and mums are used to feeding them so offer them milk. It can be very easy to offer milk especially when it's on tap! I would definitely keep comforting baby to sleep without feeding. They are not shy about asking for it if they want it!!

Wow 11 weeks is really good @thethoughtfox! They're all so different aren't they. If I'd tried dropping the dream feed and it had been a disaster then I would probably have just started it again without even posting on here. It's the fact that we had two nights of initial success that's confused me. And like I say DS has a cold so maybe needs a bit of extra comfort at the moment.

There's also a lot of development at this age and it's often said there's a sleep regression about 8-10 mo

We dropped the dream feed at 8 months. It was our second attempt. We tried it at 7 months but DD started waking up at 5.30-6am stirring and moaning. I figured keeping the dream feed for a bit longer is preferable to early morning wakings and continued for another month.

When we finally got rid of the dream feed, we: (1) did it very gradually and reduced the milk intake by 30 mls every 2-3 days, (2) made sure DD did not have any colds or coughs bothering her and (3) made an effort to offer her more food during the day. The transition was smooth and DD continued waking up happily at her usual time.

In general, at 8-9 months a healthy baby fully established on solids should be developmentally ready to drop the night feed. I also feel that if I had persisted with my DD at 7 months, she would have eventually got used to it. I just did not really mind the dream feed as long as DD slept well for the rest of the night.

Well we've had a few more good nights where DS slept through from 7ish to 6ish, and a couple of awful nights where he's woken once but then stayed awake for a couple of hours!

Last night he woke at 1am and seemed to think it was the start of the day. DH tried for ages to resettle him with the dummy, as he wasn't showing any signs of hunger or distress, but after nearly two hours he caved in and just fed DS. He only had a little bit if a milk and did then resettle afterwards, but I'm not convinced he was awake due to hunger.

It all seems a bit topsy turvy at the moment, having got rid of one night feed (dream feed) only to return to the days of being awake for hours in the night. And then other nights he sleeps through!

I am wondering if we're heading into night weaning territory, maybe offering some water rather than milk on night wakings, or if he's too young for that?! I always thought I'd wait until he was a year old, but the fact that he sometimes sleeps for 11 hours makes me wonder if he might be ready now.

As mentioned though @arbrighton there's a sleep regression round about this age, which confuses matters more. These night wakings might have nothing to do with having dropped the dream feed!

I am wondering if we're heading into night weaning territory

I'd have night weaned many months earlier than 9 months old.

The thing is @FATEdestiny we didn't really need to think about night weaning until we dropped the dream feed as DS wasn't often waking in the night. And we were waiting until he was eating three decent meals a day before dropping the dream feed, which only happened recently. Although the appearance of a first tooth has derailed the solid intake slightly!

DS is still sleeping through some nights and waking at random times others. Last night he woke crying at 11pm. A few nights before he woke up happy at 4.30am. DH has tried offering water without success. Last night we did feed and then pain relief due to teething, but really we should have tried just the pain relief first.

Does anyone have any tips for re-settling in the night without feeding?

Thanks very much.