8 month old mostly feeding during the night not the day - help!

[Calmingvibrations]

First time mum, making it all up as I go along, no idea what I’m doing 😬
My almost 8 month old wakes numerous times in the night for food (formula) and there are nights he’s draining a 7oz bottle every 3 hours. So I’m assuming he is crying because he’s hungry as he drinks it and goes straight back to sleep. Doesn’t seem that interested in cuddles.

He will have a full bottle at 7.30 ish just before bed. Will wake like clockwork 3 hours later at 10.30 for another full bottle then around 2pm full bottle and again 5ish for more!

During the day he can go 5-6 hours without milk despite being offered. I started weaning at 6 months and we are on 3 meals a day - maybe I’m not giving him enough? However there have been a few times I’ve given more and he’s vomited everything and then some.

I know there are many people with kids who are worse sleepers but I’m
tired. My OH is often working stupid hours so I do all feeds (he’s only done about 4 nights in total ever - am I a mug?!). Plus my little one doesn’t nap much - I get 20 mins twice a day and that’s it.

So in short - any ideas on how get him to sleep more at night and eat more during the day. Or do I just struggle on?

All advice gratefully received ..... 😊

Mine definitely feeds more at night than day just now but he's BF so it has to be me!
And it's usually 2 hours max between feeds.

At this age, they're so busy absorbing what's going on in the day that even if you do try to feed them, they're not interested (and I'd rather not have DS turning his head while still latched on so if he's not bothered, we leave it)

But, remember milk is still their main source of nutrition and if they're hungry, they're hungry, a cuddle is only maybe going to delay the inevitable.

Assuming there are no issues with weight / medical issues etc ...

Personally I would go cold turkey on the night feeds. I did that at 7 months and his intake during the day I proved massively even though he was eating well (or so I thought). Many experts agree that they don't need feeds overnight.

It will be hell for a few nights but offer water and be consistent. It will definitely pay off!

Thanks both. I think what your saying is just to go with it. That has been my view but I’m surrounded by family who complain ‘I pander to his every need’ and I need to show some tough love. So I’ve started to doubt myself...

Sorry arbrighton you are one person not two!

You should do whatever you feel comfortable with. I had health issues which meant I really needed my sleep in order to look after ds properly.

Don't let family pressure you into doing what they think is right

purpleviolet - thanks for replying. There are no medical issues but he is small for his age - 9th centile, don’t know if that makes a difference. That’s basically what my mum said. I think im too much of a wuss to do that 😬 (which begs the question why am I asking for advice 😂). Maybe I will go for middle ground - feed him when he does wake but try give him a bit less each time. If he cries for more, I will give it.

... yes I think one needs to weigh up all the individual factors. There is no point in killing yourself at night if it means you can’t function in the day.
I have health issues but they get worse the longer stretch of sleep I have, I end up in more pain. A small sliver of silver lining when it comes to night waking.

My family are quite critical of my parenting. I try not to let it bother me, but I’m not particularly confident and OH is happy to let me make the decisions...

Yes do what you feel is best... just to warn you though my friend tried the gentle approach and after getting nowhere for weeks and weeks she was told by a sleep consultant that it's easier on the baby to go cold turkey as trying to wean them off can just give mixed messages. But if you plan to give him what he wants it shouldn't really be a mixed message anyway. If you are happy to take baby's lead with it all then that's absolutely fine.

These are just different approaches. Nothing wrong with either in my opinion

Sorry your family are very critical. Have you tried just being firm and saying 'this is my child and I'll parent the way I wish, you had your turn with yours so please just back off'

Or even better just don't share any info! They won't know if you are doing night feeds unless you tell them!

With dc2 at this age we did a thing where we replaced one night feed at a time with water.
It worked brilliantly- better than I could possibly hope for.
He cried a bit the first night before settling with a cuddle. Second night woke had a few sips of water and went back to sleep. Third night didn’t bother waking.
Also 9th centile - at that age makes no odds - he didn’t starve just ate more the next day.
Could be worth a try- if he and you get really distressed you don’t have to persevere but no harm in trying.

I’ have 3dc. My OH works weird hours so I do all the night feeds too- I don’t think you are a mug at all as long as you are coping. I get lie ins/naps when OH isn’t working if needed. You just gotta do what ever works in your family. I’m fine with this baby who is an average sleeper (touch wood) but I had to make OH take an emergency week off work to help with dc1 who was the most horrific sleeper ever. I was getting ill with sleep deprivation after not sleeping at all for days and days. Just make sure you do get help if you need it. And ignore people who criticise.

This happened to us - it turned out I wasn't feeding her enough food at dinner time. I upped her food and gave her a bottle of milk about 2 hrs later at bedtime and the sleeping got better (woke up between 0 and 1 times in the night for more milk)

Sounds like he's just hit the 8-10 month sleep regression.
It's a normal (but bloody exhausting) phase and it too shall pass!

Going with it if you can might make it easier on you than trying to find solutions or 'fix' him.

I also found being less descriptive about our night helped.
So when people asked how many wake ups etc, I would laugh and say "Oh I don't know, they don't last long. I see to him and then we go back to sleep "

And
"I don't know how many, I don't look at the clock anymore, we just go back to sleep. How are you?" Big smile plastered in face.

Had a few friends I could be desperately honest with and swear about it too though

Look up the 8-10 month regression, it’s tough but they go through a massive spurt and need the extra energy x

Thanks everyone. I think it’s probably the case I’m not giving him enough food, I planned to increase it today but for some random reason he wasn’t that interested in eating. Will also try the water.

Yes, I will just give my family a vague answer when they enquire. They mean well but....they are hard no nonsense! When my son was only a couple of months old I left my mum with him downstairs, when I came down he was sobbing in his chair and she wasn’t trying to comfort him, when I said just pick him up she seemed surprised I’d allow that.

When OH’s work isn’t as manic I’ve made a point now of telling him he has to do more stuff, and I shouldn’t have to ask or point out what needs doing. As I think we were in danger of me continuing doing it all whilst he watched TV. It’s a bit better.

Will read about the sleep regression at this age. Please tell me it’s the last sleep regression ever 😅

Thank you all again.