Where else can I get some help?

[ppandj]

I am about to lose my mind with the sleep situation. DS2 was a wonderful sleeper until he was about 5 months old and then it all went to shit. He is now 11 months old and his sleep is crap. My DS1 was a terrible sleeper from the start and has only just started to sleep through at nearly 3yo so I have tried to do sleep training with DS2- seeing it as my chance to actually get some sleep again. I tried the first time and then he got poorly so had to abandon it, that was just before Christmas. Then at the start of Jan I tried it again and was so committed and consistent. It improved bedtime and does self-settle at bedtime and for some naps, but still wakes 2/3 times per night. I am breastfeeding and did try to wean him at night but found he wouldn't sleep for longer than an hour as opposed to 3-4 hours if I gave him a feed (not feeding to sleep). He often does a poo in the night so obviously I change him then but that is more disturbance. Just had a leap and some teething which has lasted ages but now DS2 is waking every night at 2 ish and not going back to sleep til 4, on top of normal waking at about midnight after 7pm bedtime. Then DS1 wakes at 5.30/6 usually. I have been going to bed at 8pm so that I can at least get a few hours but am going back to work soon where I work 5-11pm so that won't be an option. Have contacted health visitor and a sleep specialist is coming on the 13th but I honestly can't wait that long for an idea of what to do! Where else could I get help? Family already very helpful but for obvious reasons nobody is that keen to have DS2 overnight unless necessary. Any suggestions will be considered! Night weaning? Limit naps?

I don’t have any specific advice I’m afraid (hence why I am awake at 4am with 8mo DS2!) but I am rereading the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley as it helped with DS1 (now 5 and has slept well since about 1)

I am thinking of night weaning as he basically snacks all night, I’m trying to up his milk and food intake during day but he is at the age where everything is just too distracting and fun for him during the day to bother much with lots of feeds. We co sleep and he only really naps on/with me, on my lap or in sling but he’s getting a bit heavy! Trying to get him to sleep in cot for at least the first part of the night, we had some success on Friday but not been able to repeat it since! The problem is that he is just starting crawling and also teething so that is disturbing him and he is moving around in the bed if I leave him so that isn’t going to work any more.

Not sure about limiting naps, in my experience they sleep better if they have slept well during the day.

Do you co sleep? What sort of sleep training have you tried?

Sorry for taking so long! I'm on another very active thread and every time I go on this app I get distracted with that thread. We don't co-sleep because DS2 doesn't really like it, I would if it helped. He used to sleep so well independently so I think he is frustrated about not sleeping. He sleeps so poorly in the night at the moment that he would happily have a 3 hour nap in the morning to catch up. I don't know whether to let him or not?

How did you implement NCSS with your eldest? How long did it take to see improvements? I have tried controlled crying mainly because everything else seemed to aggravate him more, so it's CC that I have done the most consistently and given the best go. It did work in as much as it gave us evenings back and he self-soothed at bedtime but has been waking almost hourly from about 11 this week.

PS how did you get on with night weaning?

Have you tried CC for night waking? DS at 11 months used to wake to feed every hour from 10pm to 5am - I was working f/t and it wrecked my mental health. The first time I tried CC my very modest aim was to get him to sleep from 8pm until midnight without a feed. He woke around 10 and it took nearly 2 hours for him to go back to sleep but to my astonishment he then slept until 5am.

Hi @Mistigri yeah I was really consistent with it and kept at it for about 2 solid weeks, doing the same thing for every waking in the night as at bedtime. Trouble was he kept pooing in the night (maybe from getting upset) and obviously I couldn't leave him in it, so that seemed to wake him right up again. That just kept happening and to be fair he does still sometimes do a poo in the night. I think the problem is/was that I fed him still in the night, but without doing that he just kept waking every hour. Then if I fed him and put him down he would settle himself but take ages and then sleep for 3 hours or so.

Last night I had tried everything to settle him so despite the fact he is teething I just did CC again and he did eventually go to sleep. It feels awful but I had tried to cuddle him and comfort him, even tried to co-sleep and he just won't have any of that. He seems to want to sleep in the cot on his own but just doesn't like the process of going to sleep in there x