7.5 months still waking 7-10 + times

[PlanetMJ]

I am pretty much at my wits end. The lowest moments in the middle of the night, I have started hitting myself across the face in frustration and anger.

DS has always been a terrible sleeper. The four month sleep regression was particularly tough and it has pretty much spoiled my experience of his baby months. I love him dearly and he is adorable but good grief the impact on my mental health has been awful.
He is breastfed and we co-sleep. Not through choice. We really struggled with feeding due to a posterior tongue tie, so he had weight gain issues, but now doing really well.
He won't take a dummy, has 5 ozs of formula before bed in a bottle. Naps in the morning about 9-10 am for 45 minutes in the sling or on me. In the afternoon. I try and get him to have 1-2 hours. He will sleep in the pushchair after a grizzle but only for 30-45 mins. In the sling I can rock him back to sleep or feed him if he is in bed or on me.
Nighttimes I feed to sleep after every wake up. He isn't waking due to hunger. Bedtime is 7pm. He falls asleep quickly but is unsettled till about 8.30. I lie next to him and see if he will drift back off (he sometimes used to) I then try settling with my hand on his chest and then feed to sleep if that doesn't work. He then does two hours sleep, sometimes 2.5 if I'm lucky. This is the best stretch. After that he might do another two hours on a good night then awake every hour until morning.

We had a period from 6-7 months when I thought things were improving. We even had a few nights with only three wake ups.
The last five nights have been awful again. He wakes every 20 mins, just as I'm drifting off. He used to wake up groaning, now it's screeching. I have given calpol so don't think it's teeth.
Possibly the worst thing is that he scratches and pinches me when I'm trying to feed him. It hurts! I know it's a comfort thing and I've tried holding his hand and giving him a little soft comforter toy to hold but he usually gets angry and pulls on and off my breast which is also making me sore. I feel like I'm being tortured. Hence the face slapping, it's like a release.
I'm just so angry all the time and fearful he will pick up on this. I have a two year old DD who was bottle fed and sleeps brilliantly :-)

Hi OP, just wanted to let you know you are not alone! My 7.5 month old is exactly the same - you could be describing him in your post! I don't have any proper advice as I am facing the same challenges but just wanted to say - please don't hurt yourself when you get upset. I totally get that night rage (I hate everyone and everything at 3am believe me!) but could you find a better way to vent? Maybe listen to some music quietly with headphones in, walk away and leave baby for a few minutes to calm down, could you swap with your partner for a bit? If your baby isn't hungry there's no need for you to deal with every wake up. DH tends to swap with me on Friday and Saturday nights so I get more sleep. Would it be worth fully transitioning over to formula if breastfeeding isn't working for you anymore? There is an 8 month regression too which we may be experiencing so hopefully it will all improve soon. Good luck.

Not able to offer much advice but definitely offering sympathy - DS is 7.5 months too and his sleep has definitely taken a downward turn these last few weeks. V similar behaviour (but not as frequent - every 20 mins you poor thing you must be exhausted!) - wants to feed, but only for comfort, won't go back to sleep with a dummy and a cuddle so it does end up just being me that deals with it and we cosleep for exactly that reason!

I haven't yet found a way to solve it but it's good to know this is a known difficult age and it's not just me! You hear all these stories of babies sleeping 12 hours in a cot at this age and younger and think.. why doesn't mine do that??

I could have written your post! Except Dd would only fall asleep after an hours rocking in the pram, and then wake me 5/6/7 times a night. I was broken.

Eventually I snapped, popped her in her cot and left the room. To my absolute amazement she whinged for 5 mins and went to sleep! I never let her full blown cry, but never went in unless she was crying iyswim.

I had to do something because I just couldn’t take it anymore. And after 2 days of whinging or crying and me going back in to reassure, she now sleeps in her cot for every nap and bedtime with no fuss. Is that something you’d consider?!

Thank you so much! Yes it definitely helps to know I'm not alone. Friends with similar age babies are aghast when I tell them about DS. Three wake ups is their bad night.
I have seriously considered switching to formula but I truly think taking away the boob would break his heart. It's his whole world. We fought so hard to breastfeed in the early days and it's only now that it feels easy to do (apart from the clawing). My main worry would be giving it up, upsetting DS and he STILL won't sleep and I will have lost my one sure fire solution. If I knew it would work I would.
DH is well meaning and tries but ds won't sleep for him in the wee small hours when I need relief. He just cries which results in me taking him back. You're right about him doing more. I am going to try and leave them together a bit longer before I take him back.
I'm embarrassed to admit I spent ten years working in mental health and still work in a related field so the face slapping is definitely not a good thing. I will wake DH up next time I feel myself heading down that wormhole. I've had to start wearing a mouth guard due to stress related teeth grinding too. I would have described myself as a hugely resilient, positive person pre -children! These things are definitely sent to humble us :-)

And I think the leaving in the cot is worth revisiting. I tried it when he was younger and he very quickly ramped up to distressed crying versus grizzle but he might be different now he's older. If it works I would die of happiness

Have you tried any sleep training yet? I was adamant I didn’t want to do anything cruel but my baby was still waking up every couple of hours and feeding back to sleep. I had to get my partner to do the first night but 4 nights later and some protest cries rather than real hysterical cries, he’s sleeping all night.

I used these to stop the pinching my skin when feeding. They are really good.

Scratchsleeves

Those scratch sleeves are genius! Defo buying some!
With sleep training, I just don't know how I feel. Like you, I've always said I'd never do it but hadn't ever been on my knees.
I think I will try and soldier on till he is 9 or 10 months. An unrealistic part of me thinks things might improve without having to expend any of my non existent energy on something so stressful. A few more weeks of this could well change things though!

I got 2 pairs, that we used for about 2 years.I was red raw otherwise.
We have kept them for teddies & dollies! I couldnt bear to get rid of them.

Ahh this was me too! I've had months and months of constant wake ups and DS would only sleep on me during the day. Eventually I tried putting him in his cot in a darkened room during the day, with some white noise on (my baby monitor has it as a feature) and held his hand when he started to grizzle. The first time he cried for about 20mins - but I was sitting next to him so it wasn't hysterical then he just went to sleep! Could not believe it. It's only been a week so far but he is going to sleep in his cot in his room for all his naps and is waking twice a night. I am cautiously optimistic it will continue (for now)

Sleep train. If it's getting to the point where you're getting angry (albeit with yourself) and hitting yourself to vent then some sleep training is well worth while.
I did it for my DS when he was 9months, he was becoming unwell with sleep deprivation and I realised having a healthy, well rested child outweighed a few nights of crying. It took 3 nights of controlled crying and of those only the first night was the worst at 2hrs to go to sleep. I still BF for months afterwards and I am still the person he calls for at night and showers me with love (i.e. no harm done, no trust issues!)
On the third night he was sleeping through (from waking multiple times). He's had the odd times when he won't sleep but that's what children do.

Good luck x