Struggling with daytime naps and a routine!

[AAHL]

Hello
I'm a first time mum and my little boy us 3.5 months old. I exclusively breast feed him and at night he generally sleeps quite well.. although most nights he ends up in bed with us but it's the best and easiest way for us all. But lately in the daytime he is so unhappy. He is only having 20 to 30 minute naps, unless on me! And wakes up so grumpy. He hates the car, he hates his pram and I have to rock him to sleep most times with endless 'shh'ing. His worst times is in the evening from about 5 - 7. I have now started to give a bath at 6.30 and hopefully sleep by 7.. its so much easier getting him to sleep at this time compared to the daytime naps.. but up until 6.30 he is just screaming which is the worst time as it's when my partner gets home from work and his only time with his son all week. I tried a routine in the daytime but I seemed to keep getting it wrong and he wouldn't be tired or would be hungry and it was just all over the place. How can I get a routine in the day? I know this message is all over the place.. feeling a bit desperate after spending all morning with a crying unhappy baby.

My dd had most naps in a sling for a while! Awake time is quite short at that age, 45-90 minutes, so if he is staying awake longer than that then he might be overtired.

Is he getting his wind up ok?

Could something in your diet be upsetting his tummy?

HELLO!!! i am in the same position here. DS is 4 months. he refuses to nap in the day for longer than about 20 minutes unless on me.

I am sure that he is overtired, he is also teething.

initially i wasn't bothered that much because he is sleeping through the night, (830 t0 around 6/7) and has done since he was 9 weeks old. but the no day time naps and for the last few weeks hours of grumpy baby in the afternoons are starting to take their toll on me.

admittedly we have been very busy - trying to find a new house to buy etc so have been all over the place and his routine hasn't really been in place since before christmas (when DH had time off work and wanted to be with ds all the time).

today i am staying home, and braving the nap time fight. ds is currently in his cot, on his sheepskin rug. he is sleeping. but he screamed like i was going to murder him for 20 minutes straight. it sounds like he's afraid of the cot. or being left alone. but he doesn't do this at night time.

i am concerned though that if he sleeps more in the day, i'll lose my full nights sleep....but its a risk I'm willing to take...

happy baby is more important....

Thanks everyone. It's nice to know I'm not alone!! I compared myself 5o other mums i know and find myself gettint down. He's finally asleep now (on our bed) but I just feel so frustrated and worn down that the only way to get him to sleep is with so much screaming and 'shh'ing! I'm hoping it is a phase and we will soon be able to get a routine and it will sort itself out. I did think about my diet.. and wondered if I'm having too much caffeine. I have about 2 cups of coffee and 2 cups of tea a day. I could cut down and see if it helps.

I take that back.. hes awake again! 30 mins later.. he just won't sleep longer than that.

30 minute naps is normal, you just have to make them frequent.

And you wont necessarily have a routine based on time, but you can have a routine based on awake time (max 45-60mins)

So an example would be:
7:00 wake up and feed
8:00-8:30 nap (in sling whilst you get breakfast)
8:30-9:30 awake
9:30-10:30 nap (pram out for a walk)
etc

Have you tried BF lying down and cosleeping for naps during the day? My DS used to nap far longer that way.

I'd focus on getting one really good hour plus nap a day - for DD it was in the pram so I'd do the school run at 8.30 and then just keep walking for an hour, for you it might be holding for an hour in the middle of the day. Then just accept other naps will be 30 minutes and lots of them.

Short naps are developmentally normal at this age and it’s just something that they do. I know it’s tiring during the day but if he’s sleeping well at night I’d hold on to that. If the only way he will sleep longer is on you then honestly I’d just roll with it. Do you have a sling? I used it as a great excuse to chill on the sofa with munchies and Netflix. A lot of babies this age need extra help to nap well, it’s totally normal. Once I just accepted this it was much easier and looking back I wish I hadn’t spent so much time trying to put him down in the beginning. As he gets older his naps will lengthen. Only now he’s 8 months and on two naps a day do we have a routine really, and almost very nap I have to wake him. Every once and a while I just tried to put him down and see how long he’d last. After a while I realised that he’d wake after 30 mins- fuss on and off for a bit then go back to sleep, and eventually the naps got longer.

My 3.5 month the same
It’s driving me mad!
I’ve accepted 3 short naps and I hold him for one in bed and put on Netflix and when he wakes on me do a little jig
I’m still trying to extend the others but failing!!! He’s cranky most the day to be honest it’s heartbreaking :(

I think it's normal? My 12 week old is currently having his 2nd nap on me. I noticed he was very grumpy the last few days so started getting him to nap every hour and a half of being awake and he was much happier yesterday. We are on a 1 and half hour nap atm. First time ever!