Bed sharing, newborn and a heavy smoker. A plan for making things safe but practical.

[RedBlackberries]

I'm due in a few months and based on my last baby I'm pretty sure this one will end up co sleeping out of necessity as well. I'm happy with that but I'm worried about the cot death risk as my dh is a heavy smoker (to the point hell even have a smoke in the night if he wakes up and can't get back to sleep). So, I think he's going to have to sleep on the sofa bed for at least some of the night. But then this leaves me worrying that I'll end up doing all the nighttime care for both the new one and dd who's 4 but still wakes up and wants to jump into my bed or use the toilet. Other than the obvious 'quit smoking' which I know won't happen, how am I meant to juggle all this? I'm going to breastfeed so theirs a limit to what dh can actually do anyway so maybe I'm overthinking it. Ahhh help!!!

Accept that you'll be doing most of the work during the night and he can sleep on the sofa. Or he can give up smoking, which is bloody difficult.
The baby's safety is most important.

You are not overthinking it. He should either give up smoking or stay in another room

I think the only thing you can do for safety is for him to permanently sleep in another room, until your baby is old enough that cot death is no longer a risk.

No matter where you smoke your baby can still be exposed to cigarette poisons.

Whenever you smoke, poisons such as nicotine, tar, and carbon monoxide can get into your hair and clothes and remain there for at least an hour. You also continue to exhale these poisons for several minutes after extinguishing the cigarette. So if you have a cigarette and then hold your baby, she will breathe in these harmful substances.

If your baby is exposed to cigarette poisons, it will be more prone to colds, asthma, and chest and ear infections. She will also be more likely to get glue ear, which can lead to partial deafness.

Your baby will also have an increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) which is already a risk when Co-sleeping.

I guess your DH will have to decide on what's more important... his smoking or his child's health and wellbeing (I'm an ex smoker so fully aware how hard it is to give up)

Good luck.

There's no magic solution I haven't thought of is there?

I think it's going to be separate rooms for a while which will be ok. I haven't had an unbroken night for 4 1/2 years so it's nothing new.

I really want to avoid any smoking related illness for the baby so I'm very aware of the risks.

Like sirlee said - the risk for the smoke with cosleeping is not from the smoker themselves but from what it does to the environment - all your furnishings etc (even if he doesn't smoke inside) and the air itself if he does. I'm a keen cosleeper but in these circumstances wouldn't ever take the risk.
Have you tried discussing with your midwife?

I'm waiting at the clinic right now!

No he'd never smoke inside but I see your point.