How to get out of this mess with 2yo

[Frenchsticker]

DS (2.3) was a good sleeper from about 15 months. Went to bed fine, slept through. About 5 months ago he was ill with a cold or a virus, waking up very upset through the night. So I took him out of his cot and brought him into our bed so I could look after him.

I thought it would just be for a few days and he would go back to sleeping all night when he was better. Hell no. Since then he has ALWAYS woken up in the night, anywhere between 11pm and 1am, demanding to come into bed with me. And I always give in. I've tried saying no, and I successfully sleep trained him as a baby. But now he's older he is inconsolable, refuses to lie back down, screams that he wants to get into bed with me, and most worryingly tries to climb out of the cot and I'm terrified he'll hurt himself. I feel like he's not quite old enough for me to have a reasonable conversation with him about it.

I totally get it - I've been letting him sleep in bed with me, he likes it, he doesn't understand why I don't want him to do it any more. Has anyone successfully got out of this situation? Part of me thinks just let him do it, he'll only be little for a bit. But it means I can't go away for work (he won't be consoled by DH) and I never get a decent night's sleep because he's always tossing and turning and whimpering in the night so it keeps me awake. Help!

If you would rather stick with the cosleeping option than tackle the cot, I would put a full size single in his room so that you can get in with him. Then once he's asleep again, at least you've got somewhere to escape to.

We put my DD into a single at 16mo for different reasons (always coslept, wanted to night wean, etc) but it's been great because any time that she's been ill or upset, we can get in with her, give her the comfort she needs and get out again! She's actually never been in our bed since and is now almost 3.

I had similar issues with my DD when she was 2 and had a stomach bug. She stayed in our bed for days after she recovered but we stupidly let it become a habit as the illness was on and off for weeks.

We then got her back in her bed and then the night terrors began!

She now has a baby sister and settles in her own bed if daddy sits on her bed while she falls asleep. If you're worried about her falling out her cot it's time to get a toddler bed I reckon. It could be a fresh start for you all. Do you think a reward chart/treats to stay in her room would help? That coupled with gradual retreat seem to be helping us. DH had been gradually getting further away from DD's bed when he's doing bedtime. Haven't had a miracle cure (we did controlled crying when she was younger which worked in two nights like magic) but I think she's too clever now and too mobile!

Good luck OP!

My son slept perfectly through the night from 4 months old (thought we had it sussed!) however he then got a cold and was waking constantly so my husband bought him in with us at 9 months and he's literally been in there apart from a handful of times ever since (he's 2 in a couple of months!) we tried sooo many things but nothing seemed to work. He would wake up screaming and wouldn't settle until he got in our bed. However, we're now on our 4th night of him sleeping in his bed all night. We changed his cot into a cot bed as I thought it would make him feel like he was in our bed and now he understands a bit more and can tell us what's wrong we've offered him a treat (bribery at its finest) at the end of the week if he stays there all week. We have had him waking still but when we go into him and tell him he's ok and he can go back to sleep he goes straight off! I think if we can keep him in his own bed he'll soon get used to being in there and that being normal and ok, even if we have had to go in to him. Early days but fingers crossed. Good luck