Baby will only settle on the boob

[Mydaughterisamazing]

Hi there, I'm looking for some advice please, my daughter is 9 months old, EBF and she will only settle to sleep both day and night with boob, when she decides she wants boob absolutely nothing will settle her until she gets it, I have tried breast milk in a bottle on many occasions and she will not take it, she never took a dummy either, just chews on the teat and looks at me like I'm stupid, I have also tried formula in a bottle and both types of milk in a beaker (which she will happily drink water from) I am quite happy to be at her beck and call when I can be but I am returning to work in April, 20 hours a week over 4 days, my sister will be looking after my daughter, LO will need a nap while I am at work, it's not fair on my sister or my daughter to leave them to deal with this but where do I start! Thanks if you got all the way through that

Aside from the night feeding, do you follow a sleep/eat routine throughout the day? You need to determine what is hunger and what is habit. If you think your baby can't possibly be hungry and there are no other things causing the wake ups, e.g. teething, cold etc, then my advice would be to start training your baby to self settle to sleep. There will be tears but it does not mean you have to leave your baby to cry. But you will have to be strong and resist offering the boob at every grumble.

We have a set routine of sorts, she gets up the same time every day, naps around the same time every day, nearly always at 11ish but this is with milk feed on the boob, and she also naps around 3ish but again on the boob, she does this most days depending on what we are doing..... there is no routine with the milk feeds she just has them as and when she wants, we are doing BLW and she won't be fed by me so she eats as much as she wants to and no more, she's on the 91st centile for weight so I don't think it's a hunger issue. She will occasionally fall asleep in the pram if we go for a walk or in the car seat, and on the very rare occasion in someone else's arms so I know it's possible. I think it's more a comfort than a hunger issue

A lot can change in 3 months. Also babies are really weird and do things for other care givers that they simply won't do for mummy. She (and you) will be fine.

Thanks John, my partner said the same, he said she might be a bit miffed the first few days but will soon realise she can't have it because your not there and will settle with your sister just fine, it's just a bit scary, I have only left her side on 3 occasions the longest been 2 hours

Hi
My daughter was same and very bad sleeper... I weaned her one by one feeding... Initially she dint take bottle.. slowly she took bottle when my husband offer... I stopped feeding before bed by rocking her.. now I m trying to rock her so that she sleeps on her own... She s 11 months old...

Hi Gayu, I did think she may take the bottle better from someone else, however I have tried letting her feed herself it and she just spat it out when she realised what it was, my husband has tried on the odd occasion with no joy, there has been one time she took it but did not fall asleep with it, she seems to know what she wants and refuses anything else! My sister is going to try the bottle on her 11am nap in the run up to me returning to work, hopefully she will take it better when my milk isn't there for the taking, I think we will both enjoy the cuddle time we have together with the night feeds more once I return to work and don't have as much time to spend with her.

A lot can change in 3 months. Also babies are really weird and do things for other care givers that they simply won't do for mummy. She (and you) will be fine.

This.

Mine was the same. Went to nursery at 9m and laid down for her nap with the other babies and went straight to sleep. Was completely fine.

If you’re going back to work at 12m she won’t “need” milk in the day, so will be fine bf am and pm if you’re not around. I wouldn’t worry about bottles - by the time she decides to take it you’ll need to think about cups...

Get the Elizabeth Pantly book, can't remember the name but it's about settling breast feed babies who won't latch off.
It's very baby and mum friendly, no leaving then in distress.

Reallyanotherone I was wondering if that would be the better route, to just give up the milk during the day instead of giving LO bottles and creating a new issue as we will have to take these off her at some point, she's BLW and enjoys food, I think the milk feeds during the day are for comfort a lot of the time, I am going to try get her to nap this morning without boob, will try a cuddle and possibly a walk if hat fails and if it stops raining!

Ohyesiam thanks I will take a look

mine's the same also supposed to be RTW in April so I'm going to have to do sleep training.

Robert have you started the sleep training? How's it going and what do you plan to do? Do you co sleep?

Her with your sister is not her with you. The only person who can get her out of this is your sister. There will likely be a few years for a few days but she will get there. One thing you could do is play some soothing music while you breastfeed, on your phone maybe. Then get sister to play the same music so she feels the sleepy vibe. I would take milk and bottles out if the occasion. Her sleep aid is fixed now, it's breastfeeding. Now she needs to make her own new sleep routine with your sister. A long walk in the pram, a cuddle and a dance to music, sitting and reading strikes till she drops off. But I honestly wouldn't waste too much energy trying I do it yourself because you are not your sister and the sleep dynamic will be totally different.

Tears not years

Out of the equation. Bloody phone!

Thanks pluckedpencil your post has actually made me feel a lot better and makes so much sense, I think your right, and I will try playing a bit of Ed Sheeran while breastfeeding and tell my sister to try use that technique, both of them love a bit of ed

Baby needs either formula or breastmilk until at least 12 months of age to enable baby to receive enough iron & nutrients
I was same as you & struggled to adapt to leave baby to return to work. It did force weaning my baby when I returned to work ( baby was 9 months) At my workplace there was nowhere to express milk and expressing after work took forever and I hated it

Does your sister have her own children? Can she babysit once a week and offer bottle to baby?

She has 3 of her own children, I am not due to return to work until 1st May but I'm going to pop in a few times in April before I'm due back to do some trial runs and see how things go, LO will be 1 by the time I return so should be able to go without milk for their period of time I'm at work, I am only doing 5 hours a day, so will be gone for 6 hours including travel time, I'm starting to think just trying to make her go that amount of time without a breastfeed is the best option and just hope my sister finds a way to settle her for a nap while I'm not there.

Everything will fall into place in the end. At the moment sounds like your baby is very content It is understandable you are wanting your baby to settle OK when you return to work. You sound like you are a lovely caring Mum
As you suggest, slowly getting baby used to being cared for with others, will work best. Maybe yr partner or sister can mind baby for a few hours with a beaker or a bottle

Thanks midsumma I'm sure it will, it's just scary having not left her side for 9 months to think about returning to work my partner works out of town Monday to Friday but I have left her with him once while I popped into the town centre, I was gone two hours and I thought she was going to be distraught.....she was fine I also left her with my sister for a similar amount of time when I went into the office to discuss my return and again she was just fine. I will be in a worse state than her I imagine