Sleep training after previously breastfeeding to sleep

[Cpetch]

Hi All,

I’m hoping to get some advice on how to get my 7 month old to self soothe.

My back story is that I have a 7 month old and a 3 year old. I suffer from chronic migraines that some days are pretty debilitating. I probably haven’t had a day in the last two years that I’ve felt completely well. I also lost my 15 month old nephew when I was 20 weeks pregnant. I think because of this I have been a lot softer on trying to get my youngest to sleep independently. However it’s now 7 months since I’ve had a full nights sleep and it’s just getting ridiculous. I don’t think I’ve intentionally meant to feed him to sleep but he would always fall asleep after a feed and I wasn’t going to wake him up(that’s just crazy right?!) I now breastfeed him at 7, try to get him in his cot, that’s in our room, while he’s still sleepy. He generally sleeps till 0930-1030 and then wants feeding. I normally get him back in his cot but then that’s where it goes wrong. He starts to wake up more often and we both end up falling to sleep in my bed.

Anyway all this has led me to try some sleep training. I’ve tried cc, which I’d done with my first and had worked amazingly in about 3 nights. But my son just cry’s and cry’s and never settles. So I’ve started to try the retreat method. I’ve got to the point that I put him in his cot when he’s nearly asleep but not quite. Sometimes he will roll over and go to sleep and sometimes he will start to cry. What I struggle with is what to do then. He will just keep crying and wake himself up if I leave him. Do I take him out and rock him till he’s sleepy again? Please help!!!

No advice sorry just following as in the same position. It's so tough isn't it

We just did a gradual thing of after the last feed and being put down, if the crying started we'd go back in and pick up for a last cuddle then put back when settled. Then when the crying started again, going in and soothing without picking up, then when the crying started again leave it a minute or two longer and soothe without picking up, then just increase the time intervals before going in again.

The baby got the idea after a few nights and knew what to expect from us. It's just letting them know you're still there but won't be reappearing at the drop of a hat. It got to the point where they'd cry a bit, get a bit bored of waiting, then think oh well, might as well go to sleep then. I have to say too that changing the last feed to formula rather than breast also helped a lot with settling my babies at night.

I’m so sorry for your loss and you honestly don’t need to explain yourself here - it’s perfectly natural to feed to sleep. We used the sensational baby sleep plan by Alison Scott-Wright which is wonderful and really teaches you how to implement self-soothing. Very best of luck.

Sometimes to start with it would take a while to soothe them while still in bed, my son though really liked his nose being stroked, that would stop him crying just about every time! But sticking to a routine is what matters.

It is. Feels like it’s never going to end

Thanks everyone. My trouble with any sleep training I try is that he doesn’t settle when I go in. Even when I pick him up he carries on crying. The last couple of nights I’ve made my husband try to settle him that seems to work better. We’ve put him in his own room for the first time tonight so we shall have to see how that goes. Fingers crossed for a good night.