Cosleeping to cot transition ... how do I do it?

[NorwNewCat]

My 5mo LO is in a great sleep pattern , sleeps 7pm to 6am ish. He’s EBF and wakes a fair few times to feed normally - every 2-3 hours overnight.

He’s cosleeping in my bed ( I do have a SnuzPod which he used to sleep in but won’t entertain for the last 3 months) .

I was thinking I need to move him into his own bed - maybe SnuzPod to start them own room and cot.

He’s my PFB and I can’t bear him crying ( I know) , so I want the transition to be as painless for both of us as possible .

So just looking for peoples experience of moving them from cosleeping to cot,

1. how old
2. breast or bottle fed
3. how did you do it?
4. how long did it take to work?
5. did you have to CIO

Thanks , as a first time mum I just feel so clueless

It took me about 5 years... 😝

He's still asks to sleep with us sometimes. But he doses finally asleep alone most nights.

Omg no ! 5 yrs ! My mum coslept with me cos she couldn’t afford a cot and put me in my own bed at 18 months when my sis was born apparently without any probs! I was hoping there was a way of doing it before then!

There probably is! I think it might be easier before the stranger danger milestone hits, so before 9 months? My ds was fairly successfully transitioning (in a cot next to our bed)about8months old, but then came down with pneumonia that lasted weeks and after that refused to sleep alone.
I'm sure I'm more than half to blame, i enjoyed sleeping with him, as did my dh.

I think you just do it, be h There whee h he's falling asleep and if you're there when he wakes up, he'll feel secure and go back to sleep. As i said, this technique was working baggie my ds got sick.

Similarly to you, we started cosleeping after the first couple of months he stopped entertaining the Snuzpod.

I would have happily coslept for longer, but as soon as he got mobile I just kept worrying that he was going to crawl off the bed in the middle of the night, or somehow find his way under our covers (even though they were tucked away). He'd also finally made it through the regression and was only waking a couple of times l, rather than every hour... so it didn't feel as necessary to have him in the bed.

I started with around a week of him playing in his cot. I stuck a couple of toys in there with him while I was in the shower. Just to get him used to the space and hopefully bring some sort of positive connotations? Might have been totally pointless but it felt the right thing to do.

Then I started with naps... I tried to put him down awake, but he'd just get annoyed. I picked him up the second he got upset, no leaving him to cry at all. There were a few occasions he settled himself but it took a while - and although I always comforted him instantly, it just seemed a bit stressful for him. So I just started cuddling him to sleep and holding him for about 15mins before laying him down.

Then after maybe 3 days of doing naps in there, I bit the bullet and moved onto nights. And you know what? It was absolutely fine. He slept exactly the same - a usual couple of brief wake ups but that's it. It took me longer to get used to it than it did him!

Obviously we have the occasional bad night where we have 2/3 hourly wake ups, but that's just babies

He usually wakes at 6 and I bring him into bed for a feed and a cuddle and he snoozes until 7.30-8ish. Heaven.

We moved him at 7 months and he's now 9.5 Months. He's breastfed.

(I have to add I think we've been very lucky! But it's not impossible) x

Using techniques from The Baby Whisper (books & YouTube videos) worked for us. It’s a nice gentle approach for baby and mum.

Amelie247- thanks! This gives me hope as your LO sounds like mine and I was planning on trying the playing in cot thing etc too

LittleFeelieFooFoo - yep I deffo will probs be more upset without him in the bed than him me!

MazzDazzel - thanks I’ll have a look at the Baby Whisperer

I coslept with DD until she was 16mo when we transitioned into her single bed. Took a few months, had to night wean, etc but we got there.

DS is 12mo and just this week we've transitioned onto a double mattress on the floor in his room. I know it'll take a while abs we'll have to night wean at some point, but he's out of our room so that's the first step!

If you want to go for a cot you need to think about he's going to go to sleep. The advice is that they need to go to sleep in the place they're going to sleep, which is why feeding to sleep and putting into a cot rarely works. So it's either feed, put in cot awake and work on a method if getting to sleep in the cot, or feed to sleep and cosleep.

I'm going feed to sleep, cosleep and escape at the moment!

Also, think about the wake ups. Just because he's in a cot doesn't mean there will be less wake ups. So be clear that you're happy to get out of bed and into his room to resettle rather than feed back to sleep when he squeaks before you start the whole process!

Teaandbiscuitsforme - yeah I had thought about this , I literally never get out of bed unless it’s to go to the loo, he also never cries at night because he just rolls over and gets milk!

I don’t fancy getting out of bed !

I think rather than a cot I might try the bed idea - so put him to sleep in a bed in his own room - feed, fake co-sleep and then escape?

I am debating having a Montessori style floor bed for DC2 for this reason, DS1 was hell to get to sleep in a cot, and so so so difficult to get back into it if he woke and fell asleep on me. Most nights I still lie in his bed while he goes to sleep (he’s 3.5). So with DC2 I am going with side crib to start but thought maybe then a floor bed so I could lie next to them while they fall asleep! But I don’t know anyone who’s actually done it, just pictures on Pinterest!

My friend has a floor bed for her 3 yr old and cosleeps with her 10mo. She said it works well

I am tried once and DD got hysterical, she hyperventilated when I got her out of the cot, even though I was sitting beside her the whole time. She is nearly 21 months and happily cosleeps. I have no immediate plans to change it.

What’s the reason for wanting to move him?

I coslept with my first (initially all the night and then the second part of the night) until after she was 2 when we had a real push to get her in her own bed/room for the majority of the night. I coslept with my second until about 9 months when we transitioned to a travel cot slightly away from my bed, and then a cot in with my eldest at about a year.

I think if you want to make a change you need to be consistent with it for a few weeks. However I’m not necessarily advocating the change as you may find waking up, getting up, picking up your child, feeding them, resettling them and then getting yourself back to bed and back to sleep actually results in less sleep for you all

To answer your questions;

1. how old - as above
2. breast or bottle fed - breast
3. how did you do it? Accepting that the first 3-4 nights would be hard as we all worked through the new ways. (For my second for example we went through this change when I changed her from our bed to Tavel cot next to our bed, and again when we went from travel cot to cot). Being totally consistent, doing the same thing at every wake up and sleep including naps. Not feeding to sleep (but mine were older than 5 months). Being there and comforting as they got used to it. Persistence and consistency
4. how long did it take to work? About 7-10 days of total consistency
5. did you have to CIO - no, I don’t agree with CIO and would do anything as an alternative. As an aside, I’m sure pretty much all the sleep trainers who do advocate CIO say not before a year anyway

The amount of sleep and peaceful baby overnight is exactly the reason I cosleep. My mum was always astounded that I wasn't pacing the floor with a screaming baby all night

DS has taken well to the floor bed, but then he's used to a king size mattress and being next to me. We've kept his foam wedge bumpers to stop him rolling off and keeping the comfort factor of them. So far so good. But we'll take it very slowly!!

I co slept and bf DS until 7 months we had to top up with formula as tongue tie issues so he was having a bottle before bed and only waking for one feed around 3-4 am.

First night we put him in his cot I rocked him to sleep first but he was waking and crying more often so we bit the bullet on getting him to self soothe. I stayed in the room with him as did not want to CIO, he yelled at me for about an hour while I shushed and talked soothingly to him patted him a bit etc. but it was definitely a cross yell not distressed at all and then he seemed to give up and go to sleep. Has been mostly fine since (teething and illness aside).

Good luck OP

My son went from our bed to his own cot at 8 months. I waited until we wasn't waking in the night though as it's more hassle dealing with that when they're in their own room.
He did it without issue though, same routine and went very smoothly

Totally second what teaandbiscuits says. I've done very similar with my 3 DC. Currently DD2 is nearly 21 months and we've been transitioning her out of our bed for a few weeks.

I bf her to sleep in her junior bed (not very comfortable for me but there you go). When she's asleep I put up the guard rail and creep away. Sometimes she wakes at about 2am and I try stroking her face to put her back to sleep. Sometimes it works, but if she gets upset I just bring her into our bed. At least we're getting a fair few hours of peaceful sleep before she joins us! Not sure what age you can safely use a guard rail, but mattress on the floor works well.

**What’s the reason for wanting to move him?

I’m just worried about how he will sleep if I ever need to leave him overnight, I don’t have any plans to do this in the near future , but say I was in hospital or come 1yr when I’m at work ( I do shifts).

Also DH wants adult time

Currently he sleeps in the living room with us until we all go to bed, I was thinking as a first step I might try him in our bed alone with a baby monitor from 6mo in the evening . So even tho he’s alone he’ll be where he’s used to....

OP my solution has certainly improved things in the 'adult time' department.

Ha ha, with us too mother! DH has always completely agreed with us cosleeping with both DC and was actually more reluctant to move DS 'so young' but it has been nice having a bit of us time! Even if it has only been a week!

So when people have coslept until 2yrs etc where did you put the baby early evening?