30 months wakes up every night for hours at a time. Loosing it

[thesunisout12]

Our DD is 30 months old and has only slept through the night a handful of times during her life. Since we changed her cot for a bed 8 months ago it means she can walk around and also come into our bed. Last night as an example:

6pm bathtime, story, PJ, milk then bed. She always goes to bed drowsy and falls asleep on her own. I never stay in the bedroom with her. Has literally always been the easiest to go to sleep. Sleeps well until around midnight or 1am, then she will wake up, get out of bed, scream and bang on the door if it's shut or crawl into our bed. She will be so fidgety and roll around and just not able to lie still. If we try and get her into her own bed she will kick and scream and just walk back to our bed. She keeps us both awake and falls asleep after a few hours (last night it was 5am!) We are all loosing it. I have spoken to a friend with similar problems and her son is on melatonin, but not helping much.

She is a fussy eater, but we always offer her something again before bedtime to fill her up. We have recently started giving her multivitamins with iron too (not tested though.)

Does anyone have any advice? Is it something medical? Restless Leg Syndrome or psychological? She has always been an incredible light sleeper and would even wake up from her nap in nursery from the smallest noise. She stopped napping in the daytime about 6 months ago and just refuses to in nursery. If she does nap (very rarely) it means she doesnt fall asleeo until 10pm and still wakes in the night.

I am so exhausted and I can't handle it anymore.

Could it be food allergies or reflux? Have you take her to see a paediatrician?

I have an appointment with a GP this week, I'm just worried they will dismiss this as normal behaviour and not perform any tests to check for underlying issues. I doubt it's reflux, she's shown no symptoms for that.. Haven't thought it could be food allergies, but hopefully something our GP would want to look into..

Is there anything I should push for in terms of tests and checks with the GP?

I only suggested reflux as it sounds like she has some discomfort at night. When she is rolling around, is she only moving her legs or is she arching her back and writhing around? I would suggest you keep a diary of food and sleep for a few days before your appointment to show the gp. Also maybe her toilet habits too. Good luck - hope you all get some sleep soon!

Your 2.5yo is testing boundaries. Very common.

Continue with back to bed routine, make it very boring and the phase will pass. Most of us have been there.

Maybe try a groclock, and/or reward chart for staying in bed overnight.

Is she waking to use the toilet (even if in nappies she might becoming aware of needing to go).

I've just started a thread about toddlers and food!

If my dc eats wheat (or bananas) she'll be up all night fussing

She had reflux as a baby and has cmpa

Try cutting out wheat for a few days or keeping a food diary?! Good luck

Thanks for all your input, I really appreciate it.

@beansbananas She doesn't seem to be arching her back or in pain, she is more like half asleep and extremely overtired, but not finding a way to calm down to fall asleep if you know what you mean. Good idea to keep a food diary though, could well be linked! She has a history of frequently being constipated, but has been ok recently.

@ewyearnewname18 Could be, but I don't think she finds the process of waking up all the time enjoyable and although she is definitely one to test boundaries, she is obviously finding this stressful as she is struggling in the middle of the night. She even tells me in the morning she is so, so tired. She is potty trained, but wears a nappy at night. I'll try and ask if she needs a wee tonight when she wakes up, maybe since being potty trained it's uncomfortable to wee in the nappy? Although we had this problem long before she was out of nappies..

@Freedumb That's really interesting. Have your had it tested or did you figure out these food groups by eliminating them?

Your 2 and a half year old is testing boundaries

@MorningstarMoon I really doubt it, but thanks for your input

More by having to be up all night after they'd been eaten 😢

Have you had milk allergy testing???

@freedumb
I have coeliacs disease and bananas really upset me also.

In regards to sleeping a friend is having the very same issue and is trialling cutting out different foods. The GP has also requested blood tests as her lo also has bad nappies.

My lo often woke in the night but I put it down to his age!

Your 2.5 year old is either testing boundaries in which case keep returning her to bed and get a gro clock so she knows not to get up until the sun comes on. Or she’s hungry/in pain. Have you tried giving her milk in her bed when she wakes?

And she’s not 30 months, she’s 2 stop infantilising her.

Sounds more behavioural to me. She wakes up, screams and shouts and then is allowed into your bed. I know, let's do this every night!

Do we still count in months past about 18?

I came on to say it was food allergies for mine when he did the same thing. He has ige allergies (the type that show up with testing), but he also has non ige allergies. Turned out that wheat was the culprit in this case (no coeliac; something different). Within 48 hours off wheat, slept through each night.

Yeah, I think wheat is a big problem! Keeps my little one up!

@freedumb nope, not had any allergies tested - but will discuss it with the GP. She does drink a lot of milk and as I understand if you drink over a certain amount it could interfere with your iron levels. Again, she is a fussy eater and I do worry if she get's enough of everything she needs.

The reason I believe it's Restless Legs Syndrome and not testing boundaries is how she behaves, she can't lie still and is kicking her legs, rolling around, twitching and not being able to lie still for a moment when she wakes up. She is highly uncomfortable, but not in pain if that makes sense. It's clear to me that this isn't something she is doing for fun.

@sentenceinterrupted That is interesting to hear. Was it a longwinded process to have him tested? And what age was this? (Please tell me in months

And apologies for everyone I pissed off with counting months. I though it could be useful if someone had any insight into sleep patterns specific to age development. She is closer to 3 than to 2 and sometimes that makes a big difference. Didn't know it was such a provocative thing to do

Oh for heaven's sake, why are people bothered how someone else refers to their child's age? You can't really infantilise an infant

My daughter is the same age and did the same thing. Up and out of bed constantly from 1-5am, crying and asking us to go to her. We are very strict in not allowing her into our bed and always have been (from when she went past the new baby phase). We have been doing the put back to bed with no attention thing for just over a week now with some improvement, she's gradually getting the message, and maybe only now gets up once or twice, but you do have to be very patient and consistent, easier said than done.

If you think restless legs is a seriously possibility then go to GP, can be caused by iron deficiency so would be worth getting that checked.

@Lou1324
wow, I admire your patience and sticking with it for a week. It was so much easier when they couldn't climb out of bed :) Yes, we have an appointment with a doctor tomorrow to have her checked out.

OP, my LO was anaphylactic to some things, and I was pretty sure he had allergies from about 2 weeks old (but it was much more obvious signs with the other allergies). i didn't get a 'proper' diagnosis (ie not the doctor telling me i was just an anxious mother) until about a year old, after his face swelled up at about 8 months.

Even with testing, the wheat didn't come up (admittedly there were a lot of other things that did). not all allergies 'show up' on the tests they do, even for the ones that do, the gold standard to see if it's a problem is to start a food diary (google food diary and allergies), and then to take the food out of the diet completely for 2 weeks, then to reintroduce it and see how behaviour / symptoms change. It was the only way we identified wheat as the culprit, but if you have a proper food diary the docs will / should actually take notice of you!

By the way, I'm not saying wheat is 'your' culprit, it just was for us.... we had many other culprits too, though, they were just more severe so we picked them up sooner.