Leaving baby alone at night!

[Gems1783]

I wondered when everyone left their little ones on their own to sleep at night?
My little girl is 7 weeks old and I have started trying to do a bedtime routine. She used to go down anytime between 9 and 11 but have started trying to do this a bit earlier. I currently have her in a Next to me crib beside our bed. I give her the last bottle in the room with the lights off and put her in her crib - I tend to then just go to bed myself but obviously don’t want to go to bed that early all the time. I have a monitor but it’s just a bit scary thinking of leaving her up there on her own! Any comments/advice greatly appreciated :)

The advice is for them to have all naps and sleep in the same room as you until they are 6 months old so what you are doing currently is right. This is because it is believed that them being able to hear you moving around even when th bare asleep reduces the risk of sudden infant death (SIDS) aka cot death.

7 weeks is in my opinion far too early for any kind of a bedtime routine particularly if you aren't wanting to go to bed yourself at that time.

My daughter is nearly a year old but she just slept downstairs with us in the evenings while we ate/ watched tv until she was about 5.5 months old which is when I started putting her upstairs on her own with a monitor for a few hours before we went to bed.

*even when they are asleep

I let my DS sleep alone for a few hours till I went to bed from around 3 months. This was when his bedtime became between 7/8pm.

Obviously I had a monitor on and a lot of the time I’d go up and have an early night.

Nap wise probably around 5 months when he became so distracted by everything downstairs, he wouldn’t sleep.

6 months is a guideline. You’re not a bad parent if you wish to do things differently.

The SIDS guidance isn't there to make parents' lives difficult it's there because it has substantially reduced incidences of 'cot death' since it started to be routinely used by parents.

I couldn't ever bring myself to advise anyone to ignore it because 'your baby your decision'. It is absolutely the parent's decision but it's only right that it is an informed decision and not one made because someone's auntie/ mum / next door neighbour/ random stranger on the internet says it's fine.

My 11 week old stays downstairs with us until I go up, usually around 9. I think with my DD we didn't put her into bed alone till she was about 7 months. Could you not have DD down with you in her bouncy chair or in your arms? They sleep through most things at that noise so the telly shouldn't annoy them - although every baby is different of course! I'd follow the SIDS guidelines - it's there for a very good reason. It's only for 6 months.

My DS naps best in his Next2Me, so we can't have him downstairs with us. We have to put him to bed properly (dark, white noise). I sit with him for every nap and early evenings. I take daytime as an opportunity to rest and read and book or look up stuff on my phone. We have a tv in our room and have hooked the PS4 up to it, so I watch tv/movies with subtitles or play games. He's in bed by 7-8pm and I go to sleep by 10pm anyway, so it's only 2 hrs. If I need to do something, my husband swaps and sits with him. I eat all my dinners in the dark lol!!!

Yeah, it's annoying to have lost my evenings but it's only for a short while. My DS is nearly 4 months now, so only 9 more weeks to go. He might stay in our room past 6 months, but I'll prob start leaving him alone for naps and early evening at that stage.

That said, I often feel like the only mum who follows the SIDS guidelines. Most of my friends don't sit with their babies for naps and early evenings. Some have moved their babies into their own rooms earlier (one at 5 weeks!). It comes down to personal choice about how you feel regarding the SIDS guidelines. Personally, I feel they are there for a good reason and don't feel comfortable leaving my DS alone. It's your choice really.

Just to add, my DS gave himself a 7pm bedtime at 7 weeks!! We had awful witching hours until I tried putting him to bed earlier. He still woke at 10pm for a feed but really wanted to sleep from 7pm, so it can happen that young. We're now trying to push it towards 7.30/8pm

DS1 - about 3m but he was a good sleeper and I used a monitor and checked him regularly.

DS2 wouldn't sleep anywhere other than my lap in the evenings until he was about 8 or 9m old. He'd sleep no problem until I tried to move and wouldn't self settle ever. I just watched a lot of Netflix (he slept through a Lot of films and TV box sets!) and took him up when I went to bed. Never used a monitor with him, he was loud enough to hear at the end of the street . It passed. They are all different.

I believe it is recommended they sleep in the same room as you're in at all times until 6m now. Well, it was when I had mine, I was just dim and didn't realise that included all naps too (how, If you have a light sleeper?)

The SIDS guidance isn't there to make parents' lives difficult it's there because it has substantially reduced incidences of 'cot death' since it started to be routinely used by parents.

The component of SIDS guidance that significantly reduced the incidence of "cot death" is "back to sleep" campaign.

Having baby in a separate room bears approximately the same level of risk as "safe co-sleeping". Yes, it is not risk free but it is up to parents to review their unique situation and make an informed decision:

bmjopen.bmj.com/content/3/5/e002299

I have had DD sleeping in a separate room from week 12. She has always been a light sleeper and at 9-10 weeks she started refusing to settle in the Moses basket in the living room. However, she was consistently sleeping through the night (7pm to 7am with one dream feed) in her room without DH or me disturbing her.

My first and second baby were in our bedroom for one night. My third was in his own room from day one. I don't see how anyone can get a good night's sleep all in the same room and I have never heard of anything as daft as sitting eating in the dark as you are so frightened of breaking the guidelines.
What has happened to common sense and judgment?
It is always a mystery to me that on MN co-sleeping = good, caring parenting but independent sleeping = very bad, neglectful parenting, when the risk factor is probably about the same. Why is that?