Need to get 2 year old sleeping before baby comes

[user1499375161]

I would love any advice! My daughter is 2 in a few weeks, and I'm 35 weeks pregnant with my second daughter
My 2 year old is a terrible sleeper and I'm just exhausted and planning on breastfeeding new baby but not sure how that will be possible as I spend half the night in my daughters room trying to get her back to sleep so I really want to try and get her sleeping before baby comes!
So she goes to bed at 7pm (won't nap at all in day) she goes to sleep no problem but I have to stay with her until she is asleep (sometimes holds my hand) it doesn't usually take long then she will sleep through until 12/1ish when she will cry and shout mommy until I go in to her, as soon as I'm in the room she's calm and can just take hours and hours to go back to sleep, she's in a toddler bed and will just lie chatting for hours, I say as little as possible and just lie on the floor next to her bed until she eventually falls back to sleep (sometimes wants my hand again)
This can be a few times a night and I'm exhausted obviously, but my main worry is how am I gong to manage breastfeeding newborn! If I send her dad in to her when she cries then she will just cry hysterically for me 😩
So as of tonight I thought I need to deal with this now as I can't be in 2 places at once when newborn needs feeding all night, so I put her to bed and explained it was bed time and mommy was going to sleep in mommy's bed now and oh my god it was horrendous, she screamed and screamed before I had even left, I calmed her down and left the room, left her a minute and she hadn't calmed down so went back in, calmed her down and repeated this, but it was terrible I have never seen her so upset 😭 she was clinging to me and in the end she was so tired she fell asleep when I was in there trying to calm her down again, so I feel like it was all for nothing because she still fell asleep while I was in the room with her :(
When she wakes up in the night I plan on doing the same thing, go in, calm her down and leave again and repeat until she falls asleep, I'm already dreading it I feel so guilty.
Anyone have any advice? Is this even gonna work?
I would just leave things how they are if baby wasn't coming but I cant be in 2 places at once!
Thanks..

I have no advice I'm afraid but wish you luck and sounds like you are persevering which must be exhausting when your pregnant! My DD is almost 2 and sleeps in our bed most nights. I hate it but don't have the energy to change it due to working full time and tiredness etc!

Well I felt so guilty over it all day that I don't think I can bring myself to do it again tonight 😩 I think I'll just have to hope for the best before the baby comes!!
Aww it's so hard isn't it :( x

Hopefully you can sort it before baby comes but don't beat yourself up it is hard!

Start gradually withdrawing. So stay in her room as usual, hold her hand for a few nights. Then take your hand out, return if she needs it. Until you are just there not holding hands. Then turn away a bit. Then move away a bit. Etc etc. So she learns to fall asleep alone. My son's multiple night wakings really settled down after id done this. He would still wakr/Stir, but was able to resettle himself much of the time. Start now!

Your OP reads like a horror story. She is old enough to understand that night time is for sleeping. Why do you keep doing all that?

Night time is for sleeping. End of story. No, mummy will not stay up in your room every night. Here's a star chart. If you go back to sleep on your own every night for a week, you get a super duper present because that means you are now a big girl etc etc.

Some crying is inevitable. Small children cry when they don't get what they want, until they get used to the new rules.

I feel for you. What about putting her to bed a little later for a day or two (you can gradually move back to 7pm afterwards)? Then maybe she'll be more tired than usual and sleep through for longer.

It sounds like she's waking up around midnight feeling totally refreshed and ready to get up (while you're probably feeling exhausted) - it's almost like 7pm-12am is her nap time since she doesn't nap during the day.

In the past when my daughter has skipped her daytime nap and then fallen asleep at around 5/6pm (like in the car after a busy day out) I'll put her straight into bed (thinking great got her to bed early tonight) and she'll maybe sleep for about 4 hours and then wake up super wide-awake as if that was her midday nap.

Could be worth a try.