Dummy - help or hindrance?

[Lemondrop99]

So my DS (14 weeks) has been a serial catnapper since 8 weeks and frankly had been driving me to despair as he really needs his sleep or gets utterly hysterical.

We recently had to unswaddle his as he is close to rolling from back to tummy and likes to practice this in his cot at night. I don't think this has actually affected him that much, aside from the fact he sometimes plays with him dummy and pulls it out, which upsets him.

DS seems to be making slight progress towards linking his sleep cycles. He stirs and cries briefly at the end of cycles (and sometimes mid cycle) BUT he wants to keep sleeping - which is an improvement on the bolt awake behaviour he used to do after a cat nap.

He seems to be waking for his dummy. The last few nights, he's been up almost every hour from 1am. He only feeds twice and isn't hungry. Instead he just had a kick about for 15-20 mins, then a grizzle, then he wants his dummy and goes back to sleep.

We know now is the time to decide to either keep the dummy or ditch it. We had decided to keep it as overall we felt it was helping him soothe himself better. We were resigned to dummy replacements until he's old enough to do it himself - but we hadn't expected hourly night wakes!

Could the dummy actually be hindering him learning to link his own sleep cycles?

If you chose to keep the dummy, how did you get through this stage?

Things we have done

1. Introduced a comforter so he has something to do with his hands rather than pull his dummy out. This had mixed success but he does seem to be using it a little more and pulling out the dummy a little less
2. Attached dummies to the comforter (like a Sleepytot). I know he's too young to replace the dummy yet but thought he might at least play with these dummies instead of the one in his mouth
3. Leaving him just a few mins to grizzle and give him a chance to resettle without his dummy (he nearly did it today until the startle got him 😞)

We are loathed to ditch the dummy as it soothes DS (he refused to latch when upset, also doesn't really settle for cuddles), but also don't want it sabotaging his sleep. Not sure which way to jump....

DS has also given up napping on the go. Will nap briefly in car seat, pram and maybe sling but wakes too soon and generally ends up overtired. Am prioritising his naps as I'd rather have him rested and happy, but feeling a little under house arrest as he needs to be in his cot. But I suppose that's s problem for another day.... (plus, the me of 4 weeks ago would have been delighted to have this problem as he wouldn't sleep for more than 40 mins at a time, and now is managing 2 hours some days albeit a bit broken up)

We had this problem from the 4 month mark. One night my LB woke up every 45mins to have his dummy replaced.

We decide to take the dummy away as he has really learn to self soothe himself to sleep. He’s nap have been bad since around 8 weeks too. So I wasn’t worried about upsetting his nap schedule as to be honest he doesn’t have one because of the serial catnaps.

It did take I would say a four nights for him to settle down for the night without much protest and we are still working on the naps.

I am pleased to get rid of the dummy now. I wasn’t really looking forward to having to waiting until he was 2/3 to get rid.

That’s mean the to say hasn’t really learn to self soothe

We had the same issue with wake ups for dummy from 4m. Every hour. For weeks. We got a sleepytot, and she was able to use it from about 5 months, with practice. Now she never wakes for it, and has been sleeping 7.30-7 every night since. I see her stir on the monitor and pop it back in. Very cute.

I was keen to carry on with a dummy though (she only has it for sleep) as it really helps to soothe and settle her quickly.

He was up every 90 mins again last night. Has been for the last 3 days. He's only 3.5 months, I don't think I can take this until he's 5 months (and lots of things say 6-8 months before they can replace themselves!), but I also really don't want to ditch the dummy. Arrrggghhh

Anyone else??

Part of me wants to ditch the dummy as it's clear that he's relying on it to transition between sleep cycles.

BUT after 7 weeks of catnapping, he's finally starting to take longer naps. Yes he's crying for the dummy every 45 mins BUT he's wanting to sleep longer, which he has not been doing. He was bolt awake after one cycle and refusing to be resettled. I feel like removing the dummy now will really set us back with naps.

I tried leaving him to grizzle when his dummy fell out but it just escalated. Any cold turkey attempt to remove the dummy will be awful...

Not sure which way to jump.

Personally I would continue with the dummy. Once he learns to put it back in himself your problems will be solved (hopefully!). If I were you I would spend lots of time practising with the sleepytot to get him used to it.

Is his cot next to your bed? Until DD could put her own dummy back in, I kept her in the Snozpod co-sleeper crib so I could just put it back in half asleep. I couldn’t be arsed traipsing across the landing every hour!

There is a sleep constant on instagram taking cara babies who has some video about dummy this week.

She has a few different method from gradually removing the dummy as your baby is more and more awake or playing the dummy game to help your LO learn to replace it by themselves

Thanks I'll look up those videos

Yes, he's next to us and will probably stay there until the funny thing is sussed and also down to no (or maybe one) night feed, for ease and lazy reasons! Just wish he'd stop knocking the damn thing out. Sometimes what should be a simply pop back in spirals into 6 knock outs, hysterics and everyone is awake 🙄 Although this seems to be more of an issue at nap times and early morning when he's in a lighter sleep

We have a similar issue but solve it by putting the dummy back in and for a few seconds holding his arms down whilst going shhhh. And it maybe takes 3 seconds total. Also glow in the dark dummy!

Ok, so tonight for dummy didn't work 😒 He was up at 1.30am, spat the dummy and screamed so I fed him and he went back to sleep. Up again at 3.30, same story. I knew he couldn't be hungry already so I ended up picking him up and cuddling him. He was back asleep by 4, but up again at 6. Again, spat dummy and screamed so I fed him.

We've never fed him to sleep and he's been settling himself for bed nicely in his crib for weeks, so I'm loathed to start picking him up every time. I'm really worried that if this continues, that I'll end up introducing new sleep crutches and he'll end up needing to be rocked/fed to sleep at every cycle! I certainly don't want to start this now. How the hell do I get through this regression without creating new habits?!

Just to say, he does normally have 2 night feeds which I know is normal for his age, and that's fine. I'm more concerned that his dummy didn't work at the 3am wake and worried that we'll slip into feeding him more frequently when he doesn't need it just to get him back to sleep.

Everything I've read on the 4 month regression is conflicting.

It won't go away until he self settles vs it will pass, just ride it out

Or that now is the time to remove sleep crutches so that he learns to settle vs do what you have to do to get through the regression.

I'm so confused and have no idea what to do anymore

At first a hindrance then a help in our experience. DD woke hourly from 3 to about 10 or 11 months for the dummy. I was close to giving it up. Then started sleeping through.

Now I love the dummy, she can put it back in herself. She never really fights bedtime, happily goes in cot for naps and is overall a really good sleeper. 12 hours solid a night and a 2-3 hour nap.

I have been very strict with it and it’s not really allowed out of her room apart from a couple of times she has been really ill so getting rid of it doesn’t worry me as no one will actually know she still has it at age 2 or 3 or whatever.

If you can just persevere through to the stage they can get it back in themselves they are worth it I think.

I remember at this age DD randomly needed a feed in the night (hadn’t since 8 weeks old!) and I panicked it was a new problem. It must have been a growth spurt, as she went back to settling with her dummy again after a night or 2.

Oh and reading your updates I just went with feeding a few times in the night even though I knew she wasn’t hungry then night weaned at 11 months when I knew she absolutely didn’t need a feed. I went with just taking the path of least resistance until then x

My son when he was a baby had a dummy only till he was 4 months old. He would wake every hour some nights for it and it drove me mad. I wasn't prepared to keep it up for him (some would). We went cold turkey and it took about 3 nights before he stopped crying and waking and that was that. Both my dc have had comfort teddies since they were babies and that has and still helps today (6&8). My dd sucked her thumb from when she was 2 months old so that was good re her sleep but had problems in other areas.

Thanks for all the replies. Being unable to deal with the escalating hysterics from him repeatedly pulling out his own dummy, we made a snap decision to go cold turkey last night.

It went surprisingly well! Still several wakes (I'm sure he's just entered the 4 month sleep regression) but was much calmer, almost no tears at all. Certainly less crying than repeated dummy inserts. Haven't given the dummy for naps today either and he's doing pretty well. I'm actually really proud of him maybe we were more reliant on the dummy than he was.....

Fingers crossed for tonight as I'm well aware that it may not go as well!

Oh, and I've been giving him a muslin to snuggle instead and he seems to have taken to that a bit more than the comforter toy. It seems to have helped soothe him and he can't lose it like the dummy!

I am wondering if, in a few days, we can reintroduce the dummy for occasional day time use (he can get cranky out and about in the pram and the car), but disassociate it from sleep, or whether that will confuse him. He's quite young, so I'm hoping he'll yet forget it was ever an option at bedtime?