Bedtime routine

[Daddyanderton]

My LO is 4 months old and a great sleeper, once we get her to sleep! Me and my wife are trying to figure out what we are doing wrong with the bedtime routine. We start at 5-30 (it was much later but we quickly figured out it was to late) we bath her, change her and then like to feed her before putting her down, but before we can feed her we put her in her sleep bag, the second we do this she seems to twig its bedtime and she gets so upset screaming she chokes and hyperventilates we cant calm her down to feed her for 30 minutes. When we eventually manage she whimpers in her sleep and wakes every 10 minutes for 2 hours. Her mum can reduce this slightly but i would love for bedtime to be my time with her when i get home. I will try anything! Stories, singing, anything for us to enjoy a bedtime routine together. I realise its never going to be a fairytail but if i can help her not to get so upset every night it would make such a difference

Have you tried putting her in the bag for feeding? She will then be cosy and have something positive to calm her last thing.

We always had the same music on at bedtime which also helped.

What’s the rest of her daily routine? 5.30 seems early for bedtime routine to start; at that age my DD would have a 4.30/5pm half hour cat nap before bed at 7.30 as her third nap of the day. I’m also wondering how that’s going to work when she starts eating three meals a day.
Also when is her last nap before then? Is she over tired? I find my DD gets upset at bedtime if she’s been up too long.

I think perhaps, depending on the rest of her day 5.30 could potentially be too early for bedtime. But I don't want to assume because I don't know how her day looks! Whenever my son becomes aggravated when he senses bedtime is on the horizon it's either because he is overtired or isn't tired yet.. if he's overtired, I find that a dark, silent room and rocking him gently either shushing or humming a lullaby (he loves the wheels on the bus) and if he needs to cry just allow him to cry. It's sometimes heartbreaking to hear but he needs to let it out and I'll shush or hum and comfort him to let him know I'm there and he's okay. I offer him a dummy and if he doesn't want it I don't force it and offer him in intervals until he takes it and soon falls asleep. If he isn't tired I drag out bathtime with a massage and singing, reading and toys and soon he'll tire out. I try to use familiar smells and objects to associate night time sleep with but am mindful to always make his sleep associations positive... I'm no expert but would like to help anyway I can so feel free to ask anything!

Also, maybe if she's started associating the sleepbag negatively, try singing a song she likes or doing something that usually makes her smile or laugh. Incorporate some of her usual positive associations and see if she starts to respond more positively after a while! Sometimes I trick my son out of crying by laughing at his sweet face, then he ends up laughing at my goofiness.

I have wondered if its to early. She tends to sleep during the day for 30 minutes every 1 1/2- 2 hours. We originally didnt start the routine til 7-30 but she was very moody. I tried a few things suggested here tonight and upto now it has been much better, maybe the 30 minutes later start time was what was needed. I also found a white noise video on youtube that seemed to help. There was still tears but not anywere near on the same scale. This mumsnet is brilliant thank you guys very helpfull!!