What am I doing wrong - how can I change it??

[WeeBunnyFooFoo]

Sorry this turned out longer than I thought it would...

Ds2 is 5.5 months, never been a great sleeper day or night and got worse at 4 month ‘regression’ and hasn’t quite got back on track. Ebf if that makes a difference..

The main issue is he seems to be tired all the time and will only nap for 35-40 mins, once he’s awake he won’t go back to sleep, that’s him up. He naps in his cot with a dummy, but fights it which usually results in me replacing said dummy over & over for about 10 minutes until he gives in. As he has such short naps he’s generally really grumpy 50-60 minutes later and asleep again 70-90 minutes later - so it feels like he’s constantly in bed.

He ends up in bed for the night at around 5pm each night as he’s so tired, he’ll generally wake wanting his dummy put back in 5.30-6pm then will wake for a feed around 9pm, after that he goes anywhere from 2-4 hours (rarely 4) waking wanting fed, getting up for the day 6.30-7am.

I feel we are stuck in an awful pattern that can’t be good for him, but don’t know how to change it. I’ve tried keeping him awake longer between naps but he’s grumpy the whole time and doesn’t nap for any longer

My DD couldn't do more than 2 hours between naps at that age, and all her naps were 30 minutes. Nothing I did changed this pattern, and I tried just about everything.
Over time, her sleep needs changed. By ten months everything was much easier and by just after a year we were finally getting those two hour naps everyone else talked about!
Their sleep needs don't always change when you would expect them to, you might need to ride it out for a month or two if you can manage it.