Please help surviving on 1hr sleep a night and dont no what to do :(

[sashatodd1985]

Hi all, my little boy is 4 weeks old and just wont settle. During the night after feeds he seems to be in some discomfort for example his straining going red in the face some times being sick quite a bit and seems like he has a belly ache (but i could be wrong im a first time mum). He tends to wind quite well after feeding and passes so much wind all the time so i dont think its colic, although i am using infacol when feeding to see if that helps. He will literaly sleep till around midnight every night and thats it till as late as 6am. During this time his wide awake, its a tho is body clock is round the wrong way. Can anyone plz help, i play white noise when i settle him in his moses basket but he just stirs and starts crying. Please someone tell me they have been here and it gets better.

Could be reflux, especially with the vomiting. Make a GP appointment.

Are you breastfeeding? Will he settle in bed with you? My DD like this was better on her side facing me, so we ended up co-sleeping. She would never settle in the Moses basket and I couldn't manage on no sleep. I looked up the safest way to do it (no pillows or thick bedding, no alcohol/smoking/drugs, best if it is just you and baby in the bed).

It does get better. The first few months feel all upside down and backwards. It will pass.
At that age your baby doesn’t clearly know what is night and what is day and needs your warmth and familiarity.
As for the discomfort I’d definitely seek the advice of your GP. It might be that something more than infacol is needed. Could it be reflux? I’m no expert though.

What support do you have - family, friends, partner? Can somebody trusted take the baby for a couple of hours whilst you sleep?

I have been there with DD1 (and currently getting about 4 hours sleep a night with DD2 - who is nearly 2 by the way, but that's a whole different thread!). Anyway, DD1 was diagnosed with a cows milk protein allergy at 5 weeks old, she had lots of other symptoms, blood in her poo being the main one but also she wasn't putting on weight, had skin problems etc but she slept very badly until i stopped all dairy (and in time soya too). Might be worth googling the symptoms and seeing if it looks likely. If it helps she's now 3 and sleeps well, it's just her sister that doesn't!

Our DD was a bit like this too. Things that helped:

Really good winding after every feed & infacol before every feed
Swaddle for all sleeps (we ended up using a miracle blanket as she broke out of all other swaddles!)
Dummy- needed help for it to stay in, but it did help to settle her
White noise
Patting her chest rhythmically whilst in her crib
Keep nights pitch black - no lights / screens / toys. Any settling in the night to be done as dark as possible.
Keep days light - outside for lots of fresh air if possible.

I remember being awake for hours with her, as she just needed to be held. It’s exhausting, but it does pass quickly. I remember feeling like I would never sleep again. Now I get more sleep than before she was born! She’s 8 months now, and sleeps like a dream. (Mostly!)

I'm so sorry, 4 weeks is really so hard :( but it does get better, please believe it.

How does he sleep during the day? Does he tolerate being put down for naps or do you have to hold him? Try to get as much sleep as you can during the day, nothing else is important right now.

At 4 wks he's really so small and has no idea about night and day yet - this is normal. Try to take him out every day and expose him to natural light, whilst keeping the lighting soft in the evening. Don't dim the room for day naps.

Babies are unfortunately born with an immature digestive system meaning they strain a lot to process food, and it takes a few months for their guts to mature.

Probiotic drops really made a difference for my DS, and I definitely recommend trying them. I believe they've helped him digest food better and also helped with reflux.

If you're breastfeeding, check if his latch is OK so he's not swallowing air.

Has he been checked for tongue tie? It can cause a lot of feeding issues leading to digestion problems. It can be corrected with a simple procedure.

Throwing up is usually normal unless the baby's not putting on weight or clearly finds it painful. Reflux medication sometimes has a nasty side effect of causing more gas or constipation so I'd want to be sure that the baby is troubled by reflux and not just wind before getting him on meds.

All advice I can give is already stated above but also want to add that things do get better, I didn’t believe anyone who told me 10 or so weeks ago, when I was where you are. I was miserable. Now I am well and truly rested and getting good sleep (for now, of course these things change quickly, but when she was 3 weeks I felt like I would never sleep again)